We can explain everything......!
A good friend of ours who is following our Mars Mission received a sponsored message in his following feed yesterday. It was about a 4D experience and it featured an image of Jason Bourne (or Matt Damon as he's sometimes known) in the lead role of The Martian. (Swipe to picture 2 above).
Now anybody who's anybody will have seen the step change in my work recently. And it came from the calling I received when 'The Martian' newspaper asked me to go to the red planet by featuring me in a front page advert with me in a space helmet. (If you are new, it can see it in a previous post and it says Bring Norm To Mars).
But we all know that sneaky instagram will see the kind of thing you like, then put appropriate sponsored adverts in your following feed. I like it. I think it's cunning and clever.
But the friend who sent Jason Bourne to me yesterday needed a bit of cheering up, so I told him that my Ghost Writer had been dancing throughout the morning to various musical genres in a t-shirt that naughtily said 'Do It In A Van' - but to spice things up a bit he would find some new accessories and send a picture over. After looking for an hour for one particular item to accessorise himself with, the Ghost was about to give up. But he opened one last cupboard and found a sealed roll of duct tape. Then we both remembered something! Every day we try to update the profile wording on our homepage here, just to confuse people. And on one particular day we wrote a quote from The Martian (see picture 3). It goes....
....Yes, of course duct tape works in a near-vacuum. Duct tape works anywhere. Duct tape is magic and should be worshipped...
So my Ghost Writer opened the duct tape, cut three strips off and stuck them to his head, to look not too dissimilar to Arnold Schwarzenegger in Commando.
This brought great joy to our friend in need and it's had other side benefits too. We decided that to prove that it will be the actual Ghost Writer doing the shuffle dance on the video that will be posted here before I leave for Mars, he will put this tape on his head. No moon landing type fakery can then take place and you will all be true believers.