„I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart: I am, I am, I am.“⚜️
Today’s post will be on mental health health issues. I’m going to share some personal experiences and in tomorrow’s post I will elaborate on what I do to make myself feel better, as well as books I found helpful/portrayed the problem well and I why I thought they were helpful.
I wanted to thank @thebookwormofnotredame for sharing her experiences and giving courage to others to do the same!
So, while reading The Bell Jar, I found that Esther and I shared some of the same worries and problems. She, like me, had always been an over-achiever and strives to do well academically. Until one day, she found she couldn’t. I hadn’t shared this story with many yet and I’m not sharing everything now, either but I hope it will be helpful for someone.
Until this year, I always got nothing but 5s in art subjects and got by with 4s in sciences. In May last year, I got chickenpox that has taken a bigger toll on my immune system than we thought. As the cold months came, I started getting awful headaches everyday and became very sensitive to light. It turned out to be because of a condition that runs in our family but it could be fixed with surgery (I got it in March) but it’s still not perfect, yet.
At the same time, because this prevented me from studying the way I did; I couldn’t focus for as long and it stressed me, my science grades slipped. I got a new math teacher, too which I always struggled the most with and he didn’t help at all.
I ended up becoming a private student after I missed too many days and I became isolated from everyone, which I shouldn’t have let happen. We have also visited a neurologist and she referred me to a psychiatrist, who diagnosed anxiety disorder and seasonal depression. For a while, I felt really lost (like Esther in the novel), I didn’t know who I was anymore. I always thought that my main value was being a good student but with my science grades I couldn’t say that anymore. I’m not over everything yet but it’s slowly getting better.
I would like to share books that I thought portrayed mental health issues well: The Bell Jar and Catcher In The Rye.