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#thatsnothowanyofthisworks

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When you hear someone be rude to the person who controls their alcohol consumption... #thatsnothowthisworks #thatsnothowanyofthisworks 📸: @riorodriguez

This Bitch! You can take a girl out of cheer but you can't take the cheer out of the girl #thatsnothowanyofthisworks

Dear apple, That’s NOT how “snooze” works! #thatsnothowanyofthisworks

My gesig wanneer mense se ek moet leer.
#youdontknowmylife #dalawhatyoumust #thatsnothowanyofthisworks

Sometimes when you’re doing ten things at once, you try to plug your charger into your planner. 🙄#itdoesntworklikethat #thatsnothowanyofthisworks

A travel camper at a hotel? That’s not how this works...that’s not how any of this works. 🤨
Rise & Grind Infidels 🇺🇸☀️☕️ #coffeetime #coffee #deathbeforedecaf #thatsnothowanyofthisworks

HK MR556 Has my 6 a little too literal. 🤔 #thatsnothowitworks #thatsnothowanyofthisworks

MOST RECENT

From last night, a Post-Fancypants “Dangit, my makeup looks mostly aiiight; if I fall asleep like this, will it just stay that way forever?” Selfie.
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Friends, the answer is always no! That’s not how any of this works! (“I woke up like WHAT?!” Selfie not available)
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#holidayparty #december #saturday #saturdayselfie #holidaystress #makeup #confidence #ididntwakeuplikethis #thatsnothowanyofthisworks

Alright, pop quiz. Airport, gunman with one hostage. He's using her for cover, he's almost to the plane. You're 100 feet away.... Jack?
Shoot the hostage. #fuckthathostage #thatsnothowthisworks #thatsnothowanyofthisworks #speed #slowissmoothsmoothisfast #whoops

My spirit guides looking over my trivial struggles and immediate desires. #gurlstopbeingalittlebitch #playsomecardibandgetthefuckoverit #thatsnothowanyofthisworks

#tbt to the day when #OreoTheGoldendoodle realized just how complicated legs can be 🤣 #goldendoodlesofinstagram #thatsnothowthisworks #thatsnothowanyofthisworks

“What. Pillows aren’t for resting my butt?” #thatsnothowthisworks #thatsnothowanyofthisworks

Friends: you dont never meet nobody cuz u dont go out enough
——next day——
Me: goes out to brunch at the gay bar because the food & drinks are prettier & the ppl are nicer & the music is better 🙃🤷🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️ #ThatsNotHowAnyOfThisWorks #YoureDoingItWrong #TechnicallyIAmSurroundedBySingleMenTho #CoconutLimePancakes 🧚🏾‍♀️ #B2Harlem 😋 #BillysBlack #FlamingHeterosexual #JudgementFreeZone #CleanBathroom #SupportSmallBusiness #SupportBlackBusiness

... and time to get off the internet. #wonderwoman #thatsnothowanyofthisworks #toxicmasculinity #nonstop

When someone wants to make sure you're OK… They text you while you're driving #irony #thatsnothowanyofthisworks #reallove #donttextanddrive

This bothers me way more than it should...
#ThatsNotHowThisWorks #ThatsNotHowAnyOfThisWorks

...I don’t think that’s how this works, K... #Um #ThatsNotHowAnyOfThisWorks #MomLife #MyGirl #BathTimeConversations #ILoveHer #MomOfFour

“We put the Christmas tree up so that means it’s Christmas Eve today!!!” 🌟🌲 ❤️ #christmastree #loreleijean #thatsnothowanyofthisworks

Are you kidding me? 16 days? 85,000 docs later? 😂😂 #nojustno #thatsnothowanyofthisworks #abortion #prolifelogic #prochoice #inthiscasesizedoesmatter

"Ecologically dried fruit." The holiday madness is finally upon us. 👿🎲
#christmasadverts #thatsnothowanyofthisworks

A travel camper at a hotel? That’s not how this works...that’s not how any of this works. 🤨
Rise & Grind Infidels 🇺🇸☀️☕️ #coffeetime #coffee #deathbeforedecaf #thatsnothowanyofthisworks

💀💀 #cultofchucky - well, I put this off for a reason huh? I say its like a fever dream you'd have after a #childsplay marathon. @christopherott said its like they threw every possible storyline together and made one movie. Both are fair and accurate. This movie is probably fun if you're too intoxicated to try and make sense of it. #igotitathottopic #thatsnothowthisworks #thatsnothowanyofthisworks #alexvincentsactingwasachoice #cringeworthy #horror #2017 #kylewasinitfor40seconds #charlesleeray #goodguydoll #chucky #slasher #serialkiller

Currently undercover and headed to a Turkey Trot. Hoping to catch a couple turkeys for dinner! 🦃🦃. #thatsnothowanyofthisworks #secretagentman #theyllneverfindmehere #schnoodle #schnoodlegram #schnoodlesofinstagram #dogsofinstagram

Oh Work Fridge, you're so cute... #thatsnothowanyofthisworks #whatfoolsthesemortalsbe

Claire hands me a bag of teeth & demands money, which means she knows the fairy isn’t real... but thinks the market for teeth is.

#thatsnothowthisworks #thatsnothowanyofthisworks

Hydrastis canadensis, goldenseal root, tincture. I belatedly recalled that it is advised not to take this on an empty stomach. Regurgitating water, 20 minutes later, was a most unpleasant experience.

________
#whatgoesdownmustcomeup #humangeyser #thatsnothowanyofthisworks #plantmedicine #herbalmedicine #wildcraft #gather #forage #rewild #bushcraft #herbalism #hedgewitch #apothecary #tincture #wildmedicine #selfcare #riedel #goldenseal #hydrastiscanadensis

That... that’s not a sidewalk sale... that’s not how this works. #sidewalksale #sidewalk #sale #shoes #nashville #thatsnothowthisworks #thatsnothowanyofthisworks

Sunday morning “sitting” between mom and dad.
#fatpupcanteven #sundaysnuggles #thatsnothowanyofthisworks

1-How long does someone have to ignore you before you stop trying? #DontMakeItWeird
2-I can assure you that Im not hard to get, I just dont like you.
3-I dont have to like you just because you like me. #ThatsNotHowAnyOfThisWorks
4-If I block you & you call from a different number, THATS CHEATING! #RespectTheCurve

What you're look like trying to be something you're not...
#cmonson #thatsnothowitworks #thatsnothowanyofthisworks #bruuuuh

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