#thatsnothowanyofthisworks

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How you know when you are staying at a classy hotel: - Secure amenities. Note the clothes iron that’s LOCKED to the metal storage rack AND bolted to one end of the ironing board. #thatsnothowthisworks #thatsnothowanyofthisworks #haveyoueverusedanironingboard #Icouldstealthewholething #hangersarelockedtoo - Functional design. You can make coffee while sitting on the toilet. (Note the toilet paper at the bottom of the pic.) #teawhileyoupee ***pro tip: phone jack next to toilet in case landlines come back en Vogue. #coffeepoopandconvo #coffeetalk #feelingalittleverklempt - Extra bath towels. Just look behind the chair. #dontevenwannaknow - Spacious fitness room. Just look for the door marked “stairwell”. #elevatorbroken #haulingluggagetotopfloor #crossfitwodcarrie #newPR

#otherhotelsoldmyreservation #everywhereelseisbooked #pleaseGodnobedbugs #bewarethemysteriousblinkingredlightinceiling #specialsecuritycameras #airquotes #yeahright #rockymountaindamsel

📱👍
- "Unfollow"
- "Olivia, this is real life. You can't unfol-"
- "Unfollow"
#thatsnothowitworks#thatsnothowanyofthisworks#unfollow#unfollowsinreallife

Ya know, the malarkey that comes out of the #NewApostolicReformation folks is so far out there/unbiblical; just utter nonsense, it's really difficult to tell whether they're joking or being serious.
WWUTT #AskDrBrown #NAR #drmichaelbrown #whatthe #thatsnothowthisworks #thatsnothowanyofthisworks

The kids planted strawberry plants yesterday, so their new jobs in life are to ask me whether or not there are any ripened strawberries ready to pick. Every. 5. Minutes. #obviously #gonnabealongsummer #seemedlikeagoodideaatthetime 😂
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#thatsnothowitworks #thatsnothowanyofthisworks #arewethereyet #isitjuneyet #parenting #momlife #momof2 #growyourown #earthday2018 #happyearthday #learningfun #strawberry #plantsmakemehappy #gardening #youllfindmeinthegarden #ambleradventures #thinksocial

A small glimpse into why anatomy classes at real school thrills me.
On the plus side, at least my mother did all of the homeschooling.
#overcominghomeschoolheather #facepalm #thatsnothowanyofthisworks

Had to change the forecast on ‘em real quick!! ✌🏽 to the Atlanta rain and hellllloooo to Miami rain 🤦🏽‍♂️! 🤣🙄😡 #404 #305 #traveling #checkedtheweatherwhilewritingthispost #waitwhat #howdidileaveraintocometomorerain #thatsnothowthisworks #thatsnothowanyofthisworks #rainraingoaway

3 years sober next week. Had a coworker tell me yesterday that he thinks I could have 1 shot and still be ok........ yeah if that were true i wouldnt be an alcoholic in the first place but thanks lol #thatsnothowsobrietyworks #thatsnothowanyofthisworks

What do you do when you get slammed with yet another massive medical bill that you can't pay 💵 when yet another 2nd job opportunity falls through because no one wants to hire the "sick girl" 💊 when the previously stable chronic condition starts to flare up because of the stress of trying to find a way to pay for the medical bills for the unstable new one 😖 when the hubs is mad at you for stressing about the whole situation while he is working himself into the ground to try to make ends meet 😞 when you realize your GoFundMe is going nowhere because it's not cancer and it's not a cute kid and "oh my god you're still sick? Just get over it already" (ummm, because there isn't a cure, so yeah, I'm still sick 😠)
#thatsnothowthisworks #thatsnothowanyofthisworks
when it's all you can do not to cry 😭 when your heart hurts because you can't make the drive to see the people who remind you why it's all worth it 🚗

You put on some bright lipstick and fake a smile 💋 you put on some happy nails to brighten your mood 💅 you get up, get dressed, and go to work at the one job you could find even though it's making you sick; you focus on your #sidehustle that makes you happy as much as you can 💜 you suck back those tears baby, cause nobody got time for that 😒 you stay in touch online and always wish upon a star that someday things will get better 🌟

#invisibleillnessproblems #begoodtopeople #youneverknowwhatsbehindthatsmile #crohnsdisease

Eating tide pods, snorting condoms. What a time to be alive 😂 #thatsnothowanyofthisworks #tryagaintomorrow #whyspoolecryn #needslappedabunch #hightrackbullshider

I see this with soooooooooooo many models/stylists/musicians/actors/etc. Little life tip: you don’t gain followers or fans by NOT sharing your photos or clothes, music or movies. Get your stuff OUT there! Be proud! Rub it in the haters’ faces! But don’t hide behind a privacy screen if your long-term goal is to one day have the world know you. #thatsnothowitworks #thatsnothowanyofthisworks #PrivateLifePublicPage #postwisely #exposure #whenigrowup #noshame #beproud #donthide

Kennedy tried her best with the straightener, but it didn't work. Erin is still gay. #thatsnothowthisworks #thatsnothowanyofthisworks 😂😂😂

Just chillin deep in the NE with @hannars2 gettin our sound fiscal advice on. “I don’t care how many LIKES she gets per post or the number of her confirmed followers, you can’t use her ‘Brooding yet sultry gaze’ to secure a personal loan, Dan.” #thatsnothowthisworks #thatsnothowanyofthisworks

"Laid back...with my mind on my mommy and mommy on my mind" #thatsnothowchairswork #thatsnothowanyofthisworks #bradenash

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