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You didn’t pack your bags in a hurry and leave in the middle of the night. You left slowly and I felt every second of it.
Our conversations grew shorter and shorter. I found myself thinking of all the things I couldn’t wait to tell you throughout the day instead of actually telling you; because we couldn’t get past a damn “hello”. And I remember I didn’t understand any of it, I didn’t understand that you had one foot out the door until both feet were out the door and you were gone.
Sometimes, I wake up wishing that you had just left randomly without warning, I wish you just woke up one day and left me but you didn’t. You dragged it out and I was dragged through it all and I felt every bruise and scratch that came along with it.
I think I noticed it got bad when you stopped saying good night, then you stopped saying good morning. I was no longer your last or first thought. You went from dying to see me to making excuses not to.
and it all hurt so much, It was like watching you take a step back from me every day until you were so far away that I couldn’t even see you anymore, you were so far away that I was starting to think that maybe I imagined it all, you couldn’t of been real. It can’t be real how someone can be right next to you holding your hand one day, then be so goddamn distant the next.
I don’t think I will ever understand how it happened, I remember there were small hints, like you stopped telling me to text you when I got home safely, and you stopped kissing me at red lights, and you didn’t glare at boys that looked at me anymore. but I never thought that meant you didn’t love me anymore. I just thought that when people were together longer, they stopped caring about those little things and those didn’t matter anymore but what I realize now is that the little things are what count the most. and I lost you the second I lost one of those little things.
— “You could tell a lot about a person by the way they leave you.”