Isn't it funny how the smallest, seemingly superficial things can make the biggest impact in your mood?! ⛅️
I had some stressful things crop up yesterday that brought my recent birth trauma back to the surface.
My anxiety surrounding labor is excessive to begin with. I'm a worrier and my brain always jumps to the worst case scenario.
I was 10 days past due when we made the decision to induce. Once I was in active labor my son came very quickly- two big pushes & there he was! Beautiful, chubby, & perfect!
But I was hemorrhaging badly. The rest of the day is a blur but there were lots of nurses, lots of checks, & uncomfortableness.
The thing I remember most vividly is my husband sitting next to my bed, holding my hand, trying not to cry and pleading with me to stay awake.
I remember it really scaring me but I was too weak for my body to BE scared.
Yesterday all these feelings came back & I was filled with tremendous, oppressive, crippling anxiety. Today I could feel myself starting to withdraw.
I knew I needed to combat those feelings so I forced myself to put on some bright & happy LuLaRoe & take care of myself by going through my morning face routine- in the middle of the afternoon. Better late than not at all, right?!
It's so silly but it worked. I'm still not 100% but I'm working towards it one step at a time. 🌤 #birthtrauma #anxiety #getupdressupshowup #nevergiveup