Vulnerable post coming at ya: my life has been going through a phase of uncertainty the last two years. Uncertainty of whether or not I wanted to continue with nursing; uncertainty and discomfort with my body and appearance; uncertainty of who I am and what my needs really are. Aka: becoming an adult woman and learning to live in this body. It hasn't all been pretty or some beautiful soul searching experience. I equated leaving bedside nursing with being a failure. I believed that because I was no longer a size 2, and now reside in a more average sized body, that I wasn't special. I thought that I was someone that could just trudge through being emotionally tapped and somehow appear stronger because life didn't phase me. #wrong
The last two years have humbled me and literally brought me to my knees to surrender whatever ideas of control I ever had over my life. That surrender has brought me relief in ways I never thought possible. And now, for the first time in my "type-A" life, I don't have a plan. And it feels f-cking fantastic. A year ago, I would never have been able to post a picture like this unless I had fasted all day and wasn't bloated. I definitely wouldn't have been able to admit that I don't have any idea what the hell I'm doing with my career. And my amazing husband picked up all the pieces left after long, hard shifts that left me emotionally spent or just crying. All I can say now is that much of my life is up in the air and it is exactly what I needed despite fighting against it for so long. I'm thankful for struggles and failures.
Also, please enjoy this video of Stephen being a #straightboss 🏄