I’ve learned that the only way that I can live binge free is through intentionality and an honest commitment to my Higher Power and working the 12 Steps.
I’ve really struggled with Steps 6 and 7 because I’m still stuck in the mindset that my character defects (lying and gossiping) still serve me and thus I’ve been unwilling to give them up. My sponsor gave me some great advice about this. She told me two things:
1) ACT AS IF. If I act as if I have the courage to live without my defects eventually I’ll have that courage. I just need to have faith that God is taking care of me.
2) WHATS THE EORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN if I don’t tell the lie that on the tip of my tongue? Maybe the person I’m talking too won’t find me as interesting or fun. Maybe the story will end and we will move on to talking about something else. Maybe I’ll have to admit my imperfection. None of those options seem catastrophic when I think about them.
WHATS THR WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN if I don’t engage in gossip or talking negatively about others? The person I’m talking too won’t validate my feelings of resentment because they won’t know my side of the story (in truth I’ve got enough resentment on my own without others validating it). Maybe my story won’t be as interesting or juicy. But on the flip side, maybe I won’t keep living in a negative head space and maybe others won’t see me as a negative person.
Someone I admire was talking about all the negative gossip at her work and she told me how dangerous gossip is because you don’t know that the person you gossip too won’t turn around and tell everyone you said it. My sponsor also told me that the way to tell the difference between relaying a story and gossiping is to think about how you would feel if someone told the same story about you. If you wouldn’t want them to tell it, it’s probably gossip.
Today is Day 7 of true abstinence for me. My Plan of Action for today is to incorporate the 3rd and 7th Step Prayers into my routine and to “Act as If” when it comes to removing my defects of character.
Happy Friday everyone!