Today I heard that Chester Bennington was found dead with a nose around his neck & I immediately got scared. I haven't felt this type of fear since July 23, 2011, before then
April 5, 1994.
I wanted to tweet "Don't you dare leave this world" to Aaron Lewis. He is the last member left of my sobriety stability group sponsors.
Hello, my name is Shawn William, I'm a black man who suffers from depression & listens to white pain while drinking clear liquor because "my niggas" that drink brown don't allow brown brothas like me to ask for help mentally. To them that's "punk shit only white people deal with". You see Hip hop music helped me deal with my black rage against the machine, 90s-2000 soul helped me express my lust for women while teaching to never trust big butts with smiles but those Grunge, New Age, yelling ass white boys & that skinny white chic with the funny accent.....sheiit they sang my blues.
No black folks this isn't my private school upbringing coming out, I'm not in a "Sunken Place" creating "All lives matters" signs either. I'm just here to tell you that those white folks hit me harder than any Nas or 3000 bar when I was going through it. If you want my ghetto pass I'll be happy to leave it under the tallest Oakland Oak tree tomorrow morning.
Have you ever listened to "Outside" when you didn't want to go outside? Or "Papercut" when your 'Paper' was low? Did you know Amy wrote "Some Unholy War" after listening to "Neither one of us" by Gladys Knight 48 times "high as fuck"? I know pain very well & those songs helped me get through some rough times. They probably studied their soul from we the soul creators but their payback was well worth it.
It's been a long time since I tried to take my own life, and now I have one of the strongest reasons to want to stay on this Earth longer due to a beautiful 2 year old boy but I will say that those white songs birth by those black rhythms back then gave me life when there were days I was tired of living.
#chesterbennington #kurtcobain #amywinehouse #linkinpark #depression #staind #suicide #Rock&Roll