#suicideawarenessmonth #depression 📸@k_layz thanks for allowing me to go there.. these photo were taken a few months ago and actually helped me...When you look at me what do you see? Well let me under my skin to see/feel this dark,gray,empty feeling I have been fighting for the past 3 years. This is not a cry for help but more a call for awareness. Trust me because I never would of thought that I would be dealing with depression and anxiety issues at all. Everything was ok and fine. The rollercoaster we call life was going on its track until about 3 years ago when something started to feel different. Why was I going down to the metro and counting in my head 1,2,3 jump. Why was I just starting to cry out of no where?....i was in denial and just kept to myself a lot until *June 12,2016* was the day I had my first full panic attack. The day that my body spoke the words that my mouth couldn’t speak. I was driving home and was just 2 minutes away from being home when my whole body went in a complete shock. My heart PULSE like I never felt it did before, I was getting hot, light headed, chest felt like whole house was on top of it, tightness around the throat. I almost drove the car in to my house because if this was my last minutes on earth I wanted to see my mom one last time. I ran to her bed and broke down. I realized then that something was right. I went to the hospital and they connected all these wires on me. They said that I was ok and it was not a heart attack or anything in that nature. That’s it and they let me go. At the moment I felt ok after hearing that. But lets fast forward to a few weeks later where I was still feeling this grayness, tightness of the chest, difficulty swallowing, anxious. My sister invited me to have dinner and I thought this will be perfect to get my mind busy. We were all there and then I felt that the whole restaurant was closing on me. I still remember texting my sister that I need to step out to catch my breath. I drove myself back to hospital. My ex who had no car uber all the way down to be there with me. I described to them all the symptoms and off I went to a room. And there on that night I will find out what I have.