Sensitive and Personal Information, please handle with CARE.
I am anxiety.
I live behind a smile and behind soft words that float effortlessly through the throat and out into conversations filled with interest. I am a secret. I don't like to make myself known to others around me and I hide deep inside the skin and mind. I take a healthy heart and replace it with darkness.Darkness. A solitude to which one is totally alone. Alone, alone. Alone to criticise or question. Alone to think, a dangerous thing. "Did I say something stupid? Should I go? What if he thinks I'm not pretty enough? What if my friends really don't like me? Are people just nice to me because I'm present? I'm stupid. I deserve to be alone. I'm annoying. He can't really like me." I find a sense of comfort in these words. They keep me around and constant in the lives of those I visit often. I am unnecessary yet I am so deep inside the heart and brain that I cannot be so easily removed. Inside I thrive in the darkness, the emptiness that I have created. The darkness and emptiness breeding self-disspointment and fear of judgement, not only by others but of my person. Go ahead and try. Try to eliminate me through telling yourself you are good enough. Tell yourself you deserve something better. Go ahead and live healthier. The mystery of the darkness within will continue to build and build until we cannot be kept secret any longer. In that moment, I will peel back the skin I hide behind, your heart, your fake face, your throat. I will show your darkest parts to others so that you, too, are made vulnerable to the very judgement you have been so terrified of. You cannot destroy me.
#mystory #anxiety #iambravery #alettertomyself #specialeffects #sfx #sfxmakeup #liquidlatex #paint #poem #anxietyspeaks #speakup #speak #anxietydisorder #socialanxiety #experience #throat #black #face #heart