Why do I always talk about my past?
In college, social media was always a highlight reel. I didn't think others struggled with the same thing as me (depression, anxiety, sexual assault/rape, shame, using others for self validation, alcohol abuse, binge eating) so I kept it waaay down here until I drank..then it all came out.
But there was still such a level of shame so deep that I would wake up from a night out, whether in my room or someone else's, and I would just sit there. Just sit there, and feel disgust pour over me, feel like no one ever wakes up like this except me, wondering how I lived with myself. And this went on for FOUR YEARS. 🗓
I had amazing friends in college. And I went to student psychological services. But there was still this notion of hiding it - no one could really know how "screwed up" I was or else I would have nobody. It was, to be frank, fookin' awful. So I became cynical of people who were positive & posted cute inspirational shit. I HATED that because I thought: You have NO CLUE what my struggles are. You have no idea what it's like to want to transfer schools out of shame.
So when people ask why I talk about my past so much, it's because of this: my job is to help people believe in themselves, no matter where they are on their journey. It comes down to two things as a Coach: giving a damn about people and setting an example. The rest I Youtubed or Googled for myself. I could've spammed people til I was blue in the face and dead inside, but I saw beyond that. I saw the power of the people it connects and empowers and allows them to build a business based on fitness and personal growth. 🌱
If there was someone in college, even if they were STILL working on themselves, who could come up to me and say that I could start becoming who I wanted to, right that moment, baby steps, and not feel like a washed up sorority girl...that would've meant the world. But I had to go a longer path, with a shit ton of growth. So I can be that example for that one person who might be watching: Warrior Woman, this is for you. I wanna hear from you. You are heard, loved and appreciated. Shoot me a message - let's show em what you're made of.