I've always been a 'rebel without a cause.' The discovery of alcohol and its effect on me, was all the 'cause' I needed to fuel my discretions. I left a lot of emotional debris in my wake, tearing my loved ones to shreds. No one could tell me what to do: partners, parents, siblings, faculty, cops. I was going against the grain despite what anyone said, the more they said, 'slow down' the faster I went. A rebel, so I thought. One day, I just decided, I had enough. I threw out the bottle. It wasn't until then, I realized the bottle had a hold of me. I wanted to stop, but I couldn't! I'd go weeks without a drink only to succumb time and time again! This shit really owned me. All these years I really thought I was in control; choosing to wreck shit; choosing to toss back a few and blow my paycheck; choosing to party on work nights; choosing family to care for my child instead of myself. I'm clean and sober 9 months today. Longest ive been without a drink in 15 years. I found something that has helped me finally cork that shit. And guess what, I'm still a fucking rebel. I live in a society that conditions me to believe I earned it. Single working mom? Oh honey, here's some wine!! Aced that exam? Lets celebrate with shots!! Birthday? BBQ? Date night? Drinks!! Yeah. Well, I don't drink, because I'm a rebel. And now I have a cause.
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