Yesterday, my doctor diagnosed me with Sjogren’s Syndrome, a systematic autoimmune disease that affects the entire body. I am overwhelmed. What others see as resistance to change, I actually view as mourning the way things were. Yes, I’m relieved to have answers. Yes, I’m grateful it’s not cancer or lupus or anything “worse”. However, I am still upset and allowed to feel that way. My way of life has to change, and sure, I’ll adapt (I always do) but don’t expect me to jump right in. Allow me to mourn my old life and accept the way things are now. Until then, I’ll cry every time I look in the mirror to see that my clothes don’t fit today; maybe they will tomorrow. 🤞I’ll wince every time I stand up or go down the stairs bc of the pain in my knees. I’ll be grouchy bc no amount of sleep helps my fatigue, and I’ll be upset trying to figure out what causes a flare up and what doesn’t. Please don’t ask me to look on the bright side. Please don’t tell me to power through. Let me be pissed. Let me mourn. Let me adjust in my own time, not in yours.
This message is brought to you by the anger stage of grief.
#sjogrens #autoimmunedisease #grief #sjogrenssyndrome #sjogrenssucks