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#sincerelyexist

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I was 17 on the left, I had blindly chosen a dream of playing division 1 football, because early in my life, I associated the joy of my father adopting me, with my@love of football. I was wrong. It was love, not football. I had that chance, and saw glory early only to find out the hard way that mentally I could not connect those dots at that time. I quit one day and cried for a week. I lost my identity as a small second generation immigrant in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The city ate me alive. The girl I clung too, clung to a man that resembled what you see on the right. Without adversity, he wore skinny jeans and vans and played the drums. This was the start of my three year struggle with bulimia. I never told anyone, but I am now. I ended up transferring to be close to my best friend and walked on and made a division 1 wrestling team. I did that because the demand of the sport would fulfill the image I wanted to be. But that is not enough for that. John stutzman, head coach, "you are the jack of all trades Nam, but the ace of none. You could be an all American, but you do not want to be here, and I do not know why you are"....I remember thinking so badly how I wanted to tell him, because that was the closest any person had and would ever be to knowing for the next three years. I isolated myself as I was ashamed. I missed out on alot@of friendships but remember those who were good to me. They may not remember, I do. And now I'm gonna start a movement so I can give back to all of them. This is my plea. If you haven't checked out my first YouTube. Do it. I'm going to tell all of you my flaws, so if I am going to be judged and isolated, I want you to know me. I later thought bodybuilding would save my life, it made it worse. Then I became the best powerlifter in the nation. Now I just wanna go home. But I do not know where that is. To those who looked up to me, I'm sorry. But there are people that need me too. I am fierce in darkness with my back against the wall~nam #life #love #adversity #belief #struggle #transformation #dreams #goals #motivation #kindness #sincerity #sincerelyexist #courage I'm sorry. There's more too

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fL3nnYbVKrs Be easy guys. I'll say this first. This is where it starts, I feel it. I'm capturing it. I do not like Las Vegas. Perhaps I'm being punished for the bad I've been. I've gotten this far on the good I've been. I am alone, and I refuse to conform. I'm kinda scared. This is a new animal of a place. I am only doing this as a project out of genuine intent, to reach people who I can help! And continue to coach in isolation lol. Please do not be rude, I am going to take the fall and record my flaws over my lifetime, because I am that alone and that strong that I will not let this place change me. I will grow. And I'll make it work. Oh but please don't be rude, this is vulnerability. Nam @markanthonyflex ohhhh!!! I know I can't copy links I don't know anything about YouTube. The link is on my Facebook though. And if ya do like the video, please share. I'll only continue if I can reach people who I can help. #sincerelyexist #fitness #fitnessmotivation #industry #vegas #lasvegas #eatingmealive #kidlife #recess #iwannalearn #sorry #trying #strong #kind #wontchange #myconsequences

An elegant approach to powerbuilding aesthetics. Or life. Or solitude. You are always in control of how you let adversity manifest within you, the difficulty lies in the discomfort of an accurate assessment. Interpreting the actuality from nonbias is an organic process that will naturally evolve with patience. Time. Perspective. Sometimes it takes a decade to have an accurate lens of what was. I am going to make my mark, by telling all of you my insecurities and flaws. If I am going to be alone, I'll use this online barrier to be vulnerable. Because I have crossed all mountains physically, and now I am tired and just wish to have a positive impact on those I can reach. You see this! When I was in high school I took a prohormone and got the worst acne, which evolved into hormonal imbalance that lead to a depression. I was in a lot of pain, and I did not know why. For the longest time I could never look someone in the eye because I was so embarrassed. I'd only feel comfortable in the dark when no one could see. I remember hearing a girl I had a crush on tell her friends how disgusting it was. 11 years later I still wear pimple cream every night before bed, and for the longest time I wouldn't stay anywhere but home because I was embarrassed of that too. I am going to start a movement. #life #adversity #perspective #youth #sincerelyexist #aesthetics #powerlifting #bodybuilding #powerbuilding #hybrid #athlete #flex #muscle #tattoos #diet #cardio #fit #fitness #fitnessmotivation #fitspo #fitspiration #instafit #inspiration #motivation #hardwork #relentless #kidlife #recess #forever

90lbs! We started earlier this year. I remember telling him how things would change, how people would change. For the better, but initiated by shallow depth. Only because I've walked that line a dozen times, watching people come and go with who they thought I was. I only asked he not turn into an asshole like I see some people do, the ones who forget they've struggled. I wish I could give him the exact body that he calls ideal, because there is no person who's inside would be more deserving to have anything superficial he wants, because that would not change him and this Fucking badass of a good dude I've come to know. I would fight someone who ever tried to take a subtle blow at his feelings, although it's weird to narrate like that. It is a dynamic of life that exists, just less common in men. I'll take the fall for you fuckers @greg_bradshaw... Thankyou for being nothing but kind to me, always! Since the start I hope I didn't let ya down #transformation #homies #home #friends #workethic #hardwork #gym #fitspo #fitnessmotivation #fitspiration #fitness #fit #inspire #rolemodel #motivation #dream #goals #life #change #proud #deserving #kindness #sincerelyexist

Because I've become such a nerdy hermit, isolated by the lifestyle that I enjoy, that a little validation from the internet world of people who live exactly as I do is enough sometimes. I don't wanna compare myself to you, or claim success, or happiness or anything falsely portrayed....I'm just documenting my life I suppose #selfie #traffic #fit #fitness #me #instagood #peace #happy #life #passion #purpose #gym #train #athlete #athletic #coach #trainer #kid #kindness #always #sincerelyexist #food #diet #prep #bodybuilding #exhale

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