I want to fucking die.
I just know that tomorrow is going to tip me over the edge.
I'm going to fail my only reason to live- well, she's already marked my exam so she probably already hates me.
I genuinely can't live without her, I refuse to live without her.
I HAVE NO ONE ELSE.
She is the last person left. The only person who's stuck by me through everything. I bloody love her to absolute pieces and I've fucked everything up.
I can't cope with this anymore, I can't cope without her support. I know I'm clinging onto something that's moving away from me, but I'm so desperate to hold on.
She's the only one who cares and I don't even fucking deserve her.
I'm going to get moved out of her class and I'm going to kill myself, and I'm going to do it right this time. There is no ifs or buts anymore; I am going to kill myself. I'm hurting so much, and I'm so sick of everything getting worse and worse.
Well, it's my life and I can control when it ends.
I don't know what I'm going to do, probably something stupid, so I hope she knows how much she's helped me over the years. How much I admire her. The fact that she's saved my life and is the only reason I get up in the morning. I hope she knows how amazing and talented and special she is, and that she's just an incredible person in general. I wish I could tell this to her face. I hope she comes across all of the memos I've made about my days for the past two years and sees how much she means to me, how much she's helped me, how she sparked a passion for maths in me.
She's the best person I've ever met. Thank you, thank you so much for everything you've done. It'll never be enough, but you mean so much to me.
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