IN THE COLD LIGHT OF DAY...
Last night i well and truly broke my sobriety. Did it purposefully, premeditatedly, didn’t even try to stop myself. •
Amounts wise, 7.5 units... and felt quite tipsy, in fact i was pretty drunk... i was due to meet up and have a fairly big and serious conversation with my lover... knew that meeting was going to happen all week, had been dreading it...but I’d had so much other stuff to deal with I’d not really thought about how it would affect me... didn’t factor in that i would feel totally at a loss when i had to pass my little birthday girl back over to her daddy and not spend the evening and tuck her into bed...didn’t factor in coming on my period... didn’t factor in that even though i know deep down for a variety of reasons that me and lover boy are not compatible, i still feel love for him... all of that equalled; in the few hours preceding meeting him, i decided i was going to drink. Basically my emotions were raging in too many directions to find an anchor and i lost... (continued in comments) #fallingoffthewagon #soberdiaries #selfmedicating #sobriety #alcohol #understandingtriggers #emotions #vulnerability #heartonsleeve #coparenting #relationships #motherhood #life #writinglife #writersofinstagram #womenwhowrite #dianesimeipoetwriter