So finally today was the day that I made it to the gym after months of not going the gym.Todays plan was just to be at the gym I did not plan on doing any workouts,just me physically being at the gym and getting the groove back.
Little did I know that today I will have to face one of my insecurities. I was in that situation where I stalled so that the ladies in the change room can leave so I can change into my gym clothes all because I don’t want them to look at me bcoz I was ashamed or embarrassed to show my body.
I have come to a realization that all this time what I was doing was treating the symptoms and not the root cause of the problem. I have been at the gym before and I have undressed in front of other people before n I had that feeling of people staring at me and judging me based on how my body looks like and had gotten used to blocking dealing with such.
I’m not gonna sit here and say I hate myself (body shame ) I don’t hate myself, I don’t like how I look like at this current moment and yes I know that with what I know now I could have handled some situations in my life differently which led to me gaining all the weight
Today I declared this day to be the day I take my life back I do not want to ever feel the way that I felt today.I want the confidence that I have inside to show on the outside I don’t wanna be sitting and thinking how are people thinking about me???how are people perceiving me????I have chance at changing the way I look and I’m going to take it with both arms🙌🏾🙌🏾 I will have to stop feeling sorry for myself I will have to stop making up excuses, blaming other people for what is happening to me I will have to take a stand and do what makes me happy and do things that will bring me closer to what I want for myself.