I miss the person I was when I was obsessively in love with running. I miss annoying the shit out of all of you at the coffee shop, while talking to Jerry about trails/ultras/fartleks/speed-hiking/water/fill-in-the-blank for literal HOURS on end (permissible only because I make a mean dry-cappuccino). I miss the days of being so excited to run in the morning that I fall asleep with trail maps in-hand. I miss getting so jazzed for my next one that I literally couldn't wait for the morning and I had to fit in a second, in one day.
I miss it all and I had let it go for a while. Something about pace/(unfriendly and unwelcome) competition/strava/leaderboards slowly broke me down. I ran an Ultra last year, and that was a huge accomplishment, but my soul wasn't in it, and it broke my spirit. I wasn't spontaneous, I was calculated. I wasn't feeding my soul, I was feeding the beast. I wasn't checking in with my spirit, I was updating strava. I'm not everybody, and I know that works for some people; I'm not one of those people. That's not what running is for me, and never has been.
After a long talk about WHY I run, with a complete stranger (and insightful shaman), followed by a weekend spent in the high country surrounded by some of the most inspiring people I have ever met, I've started to wake back up. You gain energy from the earth when you learn how to shut up, buck up, lace up, and tap into it. There's an infinite energy pool just waiting for you to reawaken a part of your spirit that has gone dormant for so long. That soul-stirring fire is slowly awakening once again in my spirit and it feels like reuniting with a long-lost friend.
I may be farther from the high country that sets my spirit on fire, but I can still fan the flames.
#soloseeking with elephantella and frost, an unlikely duo. 💓🐘