#sds and just a tiny #realtalk.
Today I woke up to an INTENSE amount of love and support regarding my latest post.
The "asking for help" slash "Big dream" post.
I felt overwhelmed in the best of ways, warm and fuzzy inside. Ready to take on the world.
Then an hour later I received a comment on that particular post: Welp, unfollow.
Those were the words. From someone I don't know.
Now that should be a completely irrelevant, insignificant act.
Do you think, I reacted that way?
Oh, hell no! The demons picked up on that juicy stuff instantly. Yup. This is the stuff that nurtures their wellbeing, this is the type of things that make them scream: TOLD YOU! NOT WORTHY! And made me doubt if that post was okay to post in the first place.
But then something new happened.
Instead of diving into the shame and defeat. Instead of falling into my "of course, I'm not deserving" trap, I called them out. The demons.
For every negative, self-loathing sentence they threw at me, I replied with a loving version of their false truth.
I was still shaken up. But it worked. It prevented me from becoming numb.
Does it sadden me that one negative comment can outshine a hundred positive one in that brief moment? YES!
But I believe becoming aware of our self-loathing routines is a first, healthy step towards recovery. Towards becoming truly one with the #selflove.
So I did my gratitude speech: Thank you, Universe, for helping me heal this. I forgive these thoughts and choose to see love instead.
The universe throws in lessons, especially if you're trying to rise above your own bad habits.
I choose to keep on!
Asking for help like I did yesterday was scary. It still is. But this beautiful tribe showered me with love. This love can and will outshine all darkness, if I just trust its power.
We ALWAYS have the right to choose love instead and today that is what I choose.
On a business note:
Today I'm going to work hard on raising the funds to our dream house. Turns out we need less than we originally thought. #thankthegodsofrock - $12500 instead of $15-18000.
Going to host auctions and something new, called "lottery auction" excited about that.
Kisses for all of you 😙❤️🙏