Okay. So, sharing this photo is kind of a big deal for me. •
Andrew and I had a beach day Wednesday and I decided to buy a new swim suit because my one-piece was eight years old and hung off of me. Andrew was very understanding and supportive as my anxiety-ridden self shuffled around the swimsuit aisles, not wanting to even go into the dressing room. I decided to force myself to try on a two-piece, and then also forced myself to buy it. •
My childhood was not an easy one. I struggled with my weight and dealt with daily negative remarks from an emotionally abusive father. I spent years trying to cover myself up as much as possible, and usually wore clothes over my one-piece swimsuits.
Thankfully, as I get older, I care less and less about what others think, and heal more and more. This was my first time, in my entire life, of wearing a two-piece swimsuit. I felt nauseous most of the time, but spending my life worrying about such trivial things is not serving me in any way. •
If I ever have human children, I don't want them to care about what others think of their looks. I want them to see their beauty. I want them to be confident. And I want them to be courageous. And if I'm going to raise such children, I have to live in that way myself. •
One of my words for 2017 is "courage" and I am continually reminding myself to embody that in every area of my life. I hope for courage for all of us. Courage to live our lives how we want. Courage to liberate ourselves from negativity and ridiculous expectations. Courage to heal. •
So here's a photo of me doing something millions of other people do regularly, but something I felt I couldn't do for almost 27 years. Here's me loving myself. I hope you love yourself, too. 💛