As I saw the video where she talked about depressions I was so shocked . . . couldn't believe that she went trough it !!
And yes she's right there're people wo have to live with it for 1 year 5 years or even their whole lifetime!!!
I have depressions as well and I'm not talking about it to get attention and no one with this problem does people just get us wrong . . . All I want is to make sure that you all understand it a little bit !
. . . I was happy really happy to be honest ! I enjoyed my life and was the crazy girl who talked a lot and I loved my life ! I never felt beautiful but I didn't cared about it at that time . . . till that one day where I came back home from a trip . . . I didn't hugged my mom didn't said hi I just ran into my room pushed my mom away looked the door and cried !
The worst part at that moment was that I didn't knew the reason ! I felt so stupid and cried more and more ! I couldn't explain my mom what my problem was because I didn't knew it either !
I thought it will go away but I guess my depression didn't wanted to let me go . . . ! I felt lost in my own body, in my mind, I felt useless and alone, I felt ugly... My head felt like exploding I kept crying every day for hours and felt horrible!
I cried in school and no one really understood me no one was able to help me . . . A lot of people told me to go to a therapist! I didn't wanted to be treated like if I'm sick or whatever and it took so much of time till I said to myself : you have to do it, you need to be happy again!
I don't know it didn't really helped me at that time something else was added ! It's Depersonalisation! I felt like death like you know a death body with a heart which is still beating but everything else was gone ! I felt like being in a movie and playing a character or like siting in the theatre and seeing myself doing something . . . I lost my control over my body ! At times I kept staring on the wall and felt like not being there . . . Everything seemed to be unreal including me !
My therapist was kinda worried and wanted me to check my brain by a doctor which made my parents cry thank got it's nothing like that - read the rest in the comments