Two days ago I'm straight chillin'. At the beach in the water spy hopping for some thicc ass 10 year old Latinas, you know, MY USUAL SHIT. Then I get the call: "YO SHARKY YOU HEARD THIS SHIT? THIS NIGGA BEEFING YOU" "Yo, yo, yo, slow down. The hell are you talking about?" "Bruh, Michael Phelps is challenging you to a swim race for shark week" "Ight, tell that nigga meet me at Key West ASAP"
Four days later and I get there, I see all of the camera crews with "SHARK WEEK: DISCOVERY CHANNEL" on their shirt. I look around and spot my bro Jo. "Phelps is right there. Swim up to the line and speed off when it starts." "Ight bet, gimme goggles bro. I need too see underwater." "Goggles? GOGGLES? FUCK YOU NEED GOGGLES FOR NIGGA, WE'RE SHARKS" "SHUTCHYO GAY ASS UP AND GIMME MY SHITS"
So I slipped them fine ass bitches on and turned to my wife, Dory. "If I don't make it back, tell our son Nemo don't be a bitch ass nigga who gets offended by shit on Instagram." I turn away from her and head to the Line. I see him, Michael "Giraffe neck" Phelps. I don't say shit to him but he let's out a "I'll beat yo ass in this race." Before I could say anything, the gun blasts off. I booked it. I couldn't see him anywhere so I know for sure I'm dusting his ass! Cameras on the bottom of boats record every moment of the race. I'm heading for it, for glory!! Then. . .then it happened. I was tackled onto the sea floor by a white blur. I couldn't move for what felt like days. Then I see Phelps pass me then Everything went black. By the time I awoke, I was on the warm beach sand. I saw Jo beside me. "Did. ..did we win?" "No nigga. Lochte slammed yo bitch ass and knocked you out cold." "Lochte? RYAN LOCHTE?" "Just look that way" I turned my head to the right. There they were. Ryan "lil dick" Lochte and Michael "Giraffe neck" Phelps being interviewed by camera crews. This wasn't it. I pulled out my gay pride flavored dildo and looked at Jo. "Execute order 69"~Sharky
Moral of the story: Latinas are the root of all evil
Tags: #shark #sharks #shaaark #lol #lmao #haha #humour #jaws #ryanlochte #sharkweek #ocean #water #lake #megalodon #greatwhiteshark #michaelphelps #follow #like #aquatic #lmfao