Happy Fri-yay, loves! Here comes a topic that even I struggle with: FOOD! 🤦🏻♀️
Sometimes, it’s hard for me to talk about food, especially via instagram. I scroll through my feed reading motivational post after motivational post, seeing flawless reverse diets, “body goals,” & inspiration that I just cannot relate to right now..
Lately, I haven’t felt like any of that honestly.. I cannot just fake it & throw up a post about something motivational if I’m not feeling that way. Many of you may not know that I struggled with an eating disorder through a portion of my adolescent years. It’s taken me a long time to not see a “fat girl” staring back at me in the mirror. I know that seems crazy after looking at the picture above but that’s the mental hold that food had on me. My wiring had taught me to view myself in a distorted manner.
This NORMAL body season has been up & down for me. I go through days where my mind bounces around thoughts of needing more cardio, less calories, & striving to keep my comp shreds... slowly but surely, I’m accepting that this is the time to make improvements & love the skin I’m sporting. I’m the type of athlete that wants results NOW so it can be challenging for me to stay patient during my improvement seasons. I simply want to share my experiences & my life with y’all, hoping at least one person can benefit from my platform. I’m constantly learning about myself & how I define “balance.”
I guess I’m ranting bc I want you guys to know that I’m human too. This is my 4th improvement season & although I’ve overcome my ED, I’ll be the first to admit that I STILL struggle with my relationship to food & body imagine. Not every season is going to be full of crop tops & motivational selfies but just know, I’m still here & kicking! 💪🏽💕 Thanks for sticking with me FAM. #growth #reflection #selflove #teampescience #bodybyoz