Sometimes it’s hard to love yourself when you’re in a relationship. You either get so caught up pouring love into your partner, that you forget to take care of yourself, or you start thinking you’re not enough for them. If your partner isn’t in the mood, or they don’t compliment you, you might immediately think “They want someone else. I’m not attractive enough.” You’re always braced and waiting for that moment when they tell you they’re moving on because they want someone better. You avoid watching certain movies, you stare at them when someone “more attractive” than you walks by, you obsessively analyze every word they say to other people wondering if it’s some flirtatious code. Then there’s the part of you screaming “Stop! They’re a good person, and you’re pushing them away” and that’s another fear of losing them simply because of you and no one else. Your own dissatisfaction about your body is being projected onto your partner. You’re worried they see you through your eyes, but this narrative only exists in your own head. When you feel yourself starting down that trail of “ I did something wrong. They don’t want me. I knew this was too good to last..” Talk to them and open up about how you feel and what you need. Remember it’s okay to take time alone, so you can reboot. But it’s also okay to let them in. You can be vulnerable and let someone love you through the hard times. Opening the lines of communication can lead to deeper understanding and bonding. Take what they say for face value. When they compliment you, don’t argue. Let them decide how they feel about you. You don’t need to plant your own fears in their mind. Stop the negative self talk. I know it’s hard to do, but it can be done. Start by simply not voicing them. When you verbalize them, it sends out negative energy. When you want to belittle yourself, say affirmations instead. Your partner is with you because they like YOU. This person is not your ex or your family or anyone else who has hurt you. Remember that your anxiety and imagination isn’t reality. And most importantly, their opinion of you doesn’t change your value. No matter who you’re with, you are always enough.