#recoveringaussies

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Sneaky vanilla sustagen on campus today ๐Ÿ™Š๐Ÿฆโœจ
With kicking my meal plan up a notch I'm now eating 7 times a day, squeezing in 2 supplements ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿป To make it the easiest to get all my food in for the day I have to eat roughly every two hours or so, which requires me snacking on the go! This is something I actually HATE because I always want to be mentally and emotionally present when I eat. I like to sit down with my food, with no other tasks or distractions, and be completely conscious of what I am feeding myself ๐Ÿฝ Being unaware of the food I eat is a major stressor for me, which once again plays part with my need to control over everything. I guess this is yet another example of my over-emphasis and obsession with food ๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŽโค๏ธ Eating is a necessary part of our existence, yes, but it shouldn't be the central focus of our lives! It should be given thought and acted on accordingly, but not so much that it disables us from performing other equally important day to day tasks. It should be made time for sure, and enjoying the process is a bonus ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ’ฆ but then disregarded until the next meal. For me, I still struggle to focus my attention in classes as my mind ponders possibilities of taste, choice, make up, amount, time and place to eat about my FOOD! ๐Ÿค”๐ŸŽ๐Ÿฅ‘๐Ÿ”๐Ÿช๐Ÿธ It's not normal to place so much thought and value on every single mouthful ๐Ÿฅ„ In fact it's disordered. So in a way, eating something quickly, whilst multitasking and thinking about other things is a real test for my eating disorder. It challenges this part of me that thinks eating as some sacred ritual ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป and devalues it to just another job to complete in the day โœ”๏ธ It's still not easy and I feel as though I'm not giving the food the consideration it deserves, but i know deep down it's another ED habit! Do you do this too? Place too much value on your eating or the food itself? Try doing other things whilst eating in order to normalise the behaviour, as it will relieve you from a whole layer of unnecessary thoughts and stress ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿป xx

I don't often do shoutouts. In fact this isn't a shoutout. This is a friend of Elle's showing how much I adore and respect this woman and all she has gone through and achieved.
There is no right or wrong way of recovering and there is no expectation of how we should or shouldn't recover. Each journey of recovery is powerful, complex and liberating. โœจ
It is always a unique and personal journey we all embark on when recovering from a eating disorder. Elle is more than someone who is recovering from a eating disorder. She is kind, wonderful, strong, deep, loving, insightful, brilliant, empowering and a vulnerable human being.
She is someone I sit here and smile at because she is incredible.
I have so much love for you and admiration. No matter what ๐Ÿ’•
Thankyou for being you. @elletayla

Today I am going on a perilous journey in search of lychees and pink dragonfruit. ๐ŸŒธ๐ŸŒท

Just another uni selfie #latrobe PTSD getting the better of me today so it's home time to watch lectures instead ๐Ÿค“๐Ÿ“Š๐Ÿ“– does anyone have any suggestions on how to help with social anxiety and being in public places?? โค๏ธ
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#ptsd #anxiety #depression #recoveringaussies #edwarrior #edfamily #edsoldier
#recovery #2fab4ana #foodisfuel #realrecovery #prorecovery #bodyimage #bodypositivity #foodie #recoveryispossible #strongnotskinny #strength #agrophobia

Feeling snuggly in my pjs that I didn't even bother to take off today โ˜๏ธ๐Ÿป๐ŸŒˆ #carebear ๐Ÿ™ˆ

I decided to take some time away from social media today. It's easy to get completely obsessed over it all and I found it was just another thing for me to focus on instead of the immense pain that I've feeling. Another addiction in a way?
So I didn't look at my phone every 5 minutes (that's what I WAS literally doing)
I said NO๐Ÿ™…๐Ÿผsocial media has given me so much but it hasn't helped me to feel any better lately. It hasn't taken my pain away-only masked it- and most definitely hasn't bought me the connection I've so desperately been craving. Only high hopes and empty promise.
I see a lot more clarity and ready to face the rest of the week. Don't know how I'll go but hope you are all doing fab. Sorry for the selfish post but it is all about me today. Lol when isn't it ๐Ÿ’†๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿผ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ
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#peteralexander#pjs#comfy#iactuallyhatemyself#practicing#selfcare#selflove#hintofsarcasm#recoveringaussies#cute#new#icare#realrecovery#recoveryisworthit#anxiety#anorexiarecovery#cptsd#depression#ednos#edwarrior#balance#lifeofbree#mentalhealthrecovery#outpatient#togetherwecan#gingerninja

Dinner from last night may not look very appealing but it was very nice ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿป red kidney bean salad with quinoa, black beans and a smoked paprika dressing ๐ŸŒฏ๐ŸŒฎ so my intake has decreased quite drastically ๐Ÿ˜• I'm not sure how to stop it because it's been going on for some time now tbh ๐Ÿ˜” on the bright side though I'm going to a university open day this Sunday which I'm really excited about! I'm looking to get into veterinary nursing ๐Ÿฑ๐Ÿถ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿด to get there though, 1. I need to study A LOT more and 2. Eat A LOT more ๐Ÿ˜… how can something so simple be so bloody hard? ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ

My psych today was great ๐Ÿ˜Š... mostly. My nurse just had a go at me at dinner. I have HONESTLY been trying really hard to eat and I did eat a little bit of salad... but she was like - well 30 mins is up now so I'm just going to assume u refused. BUT I DIDNT REFUSE! Ugh ๐Ÿ˜ค I MUST get out of here. I feel like I'm about to cry. I'm scared. Idk what to do. They're talking about an Ng tube and I'll be devastated if that happens cause I promised myself never again! ๐Ÿ˜ž sorry guys.
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#anorexiarecovery #eatittobeatit #edsoldier #recoveryispossible #recoveringaussies #nourishtoflourish #nourishnotpunish #anorexianervosarecovery #recoveryisworthit #realrecovery #againstana #edwontwin #strongnotskinny #edfam #edcommunity #mentalhealth #prorecovery #anorexia #edwarrior #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderawareness #anxiety #depression #mentalhealthrecovery #foodie #vegetarian #inpatient

Call me old fashioned, but I thought weddings were the coming together of two people to profess their love for one another and to share the commitment they choose to have in front of close friends and families ๐Ÿ‘ฐ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿคต๐Ÿป
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Yet, I don't know what it is about our society that needs to take everything sacred and beautiful and turn it into a gigantic pit of insecurity and competition. It's sad, and it's really quite scary.
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I have been engaged for one month and already I have had the fears run through my head.
"I need to look skinny and beautiful on my wedding day"
"I need to start exercising"
"I should eat less so I can start losing weight"
"I don't want to get married if I look like a lump"
But those fears... they don't align with my values. Marrying Rodrigo is the most amazing thing in the world because I love him and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I'm not doing it to get pretty pictures of myself. Sure, they're an added bonus, but I need to let go of this idea of being the "perfect bride".
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Which, let me tell you, is hard!
How many pictures of overweight brides in pretty dresses and fairytale weddings do you see? On Pinterest, in magazines, online? Very little. In fact, I don't think I've seen one in my searches so far.
REPRESENTATION MATTERS.
If we were to be flooded with beautiful, happy, in love brides of all shapes and sizes, we might be able to let go of this fear a little easier.
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We don't need to look like the models in order to be happy and beautiful on our wedding day. What's more important is fighting this illness so we can be as present and relaxed as we can while we walk down the aisle to our beautiful husband/wife to be ๐Ÿ’œ

MOST RECENT

Guess who had birthday cake! Fuck you anorexia ๐Ÿ–•the past few weeks anorexia has been dreading this day, she was so close to canceling the whole thing just to get out of eating the food. But Leah is not going to let that happen, and with the support and love from everyone on Instagram and my family i was able to challenge my eating disorder and enjoy myself. Thank you thank you to everyone who wishes me a happy birthday! It really warms my heart to be in such a community xxx even though things might not be going 100% to what I want mentally, I've had such a lovely day. Yes at times anorexia reared her ugly head but Leah was able to be her back into her dark and dingy cave. I'm determined not to make this a "one off" day of success, instead turn it into a week of success and even more! I'm sick and tired of holding myself back and not living, by listening to empty promises by my ED years of my life have already been stolen. My goal for next birthday is to celebrate it 100% anorexia free. Baby steps. Next goal is to have a meal plan breakfast tomorrow morning despite the fact that I really want to compensate for cake.
I'm ready to fight. I want to live and enjoy everything that this world has to offer. We only get 1 go at this world, who wants to spend it trying to die? Or walking a narrow path between hospital admissions. It's time for change.
Get on your unicorns and fight your illness ๐Ÿฆ„๐Ÿ’ช We may fall off sometimes, but that's ok. What is important is that you get back up and try again.
Now I just have to practice what I preach hahaha!!!!!!!!!!

Feeling snuggly in my pjs that I didn't even bother to take off today โ˜๏ธ๐Ÿป๐ŸŒˆ #carebear ๐Ÿ™ˆ

I decided to take some time away from social media today. It's easy to get completely obsessed over it all and I found it was just another thing for me to focus on instead of the immense pain that I've feeling. Another addiction in a way?
So I didn't look at my phone every 5 minutes (that's what I WAS literally doing)
I said NO๐Ÿ™…๐Ÿผsocial media has given me so much but it hasn't helped me to feel any better lately. It hasn't taken my pain away-only masked it- and most definitely hasn't bought me the connection I've so desperately been craving. Only high hopes and empty promise.
I see a lot more clarity and ready to face the rest of the week. Don't know how I'll go but hope you are all doing fab. Sorry for the selfish post but it is all about me today. Lol when isn't it ๐Ÿ’†๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿผ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ
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#peteralexander#pjs#comfy#iactuallyhatemyself#practicing#selfcare#selflove#hintofsarcasm#recoveringaussies#cute#new#icare#realrecovery#recoveryisworthit#anxiety#anorexiarecovery#cptsd#depression#ednos#edwarrior#balance#lifeofbree#mentalhealthrecovery#outpatient#togetherwecan#gingerninja

***please note that it's make up on my face not actual bruises*** So today I realised how much I've been neglecting my body. I felt so weak and like I had no energy. I struggled to concentrate in class and when I got to my last class I was so down and out of it that the sub I had, who is one I've had multiple times so she knows when I'm not going to get any work done told me not to stress if I don't get any work done and I just wanted to sit and listen to music. I decided to do my work but I asked the sub to help me so that I wasn't too stressed about finding information. Then I had to walk home which made me really tired and probably not a smart idea since I don't get to eat lunch until I get home (who thought that running classes through lunch was a good idea). Normally I eat in my free periods but I don't have any on Tuesdays. So when I got home I got dressed into comfy clothes, I ate some lunch and I played my guitar. I also cooked dinner for my family and had a hot chocolate after dinner. Then when I went to do my homework my laptop had just updated and I found a 3D drawing app so I mucked around with that instead๐Ÿ™ˆ
Today's lesson- always listen to your body and do what it needs you to do wether that's eating, sleeping or just taking time for yourself. Tonight is a homework free night. Even though I'm stressed about not getting it done but my health comes first.

Exhausted may be an understatement and the week's not over yet #week1

My psych today was great ๐Ÿ˜Š... mostly. My nurse just had a go at me at dinner. I have HONESTLY been trying really hard to eat and I did eat a little bit of salad... but she was like - well 30 mins is up now so I'm just going to assume u refused. BUT I DIDNT REFUSE! Ugh ๐Ÿ˜ค I MUST get out of here. I feel like I'm about to cry. I'm scared. Idk what to do. They're talking about an Ng tube and I'll be devastated if that happens cause I promised myself never again! ๐Ÿ˜ž sorry guys.
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#anorexiarecovery #eatittobeatit #edsoldier #recoveryispossible #recoveringaussies #nourishtoflourish #nourishnotpunish #anorexianervosarecovery #recoveryisworthit #realrecovery #againstana #edwontwin #strongnotskinny #edfam #edcommunity #mentalhealth #prorecovery #anorexia #edwarrior #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderawareness #anxiety #depression #mentalhealthrecovery #foodie #vegetarian #inpatient

Sneaky vanilla sustagen on campus today ๐Ÿ™Š๐Ÿฆโœจ
With kicking my meal plan up a notch I'm now eating 7 times a day, squeezing in 2 supplements ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿป To make it the easiest to get all my food in for the day I have to eat roughly every two hours or so, which requires me snacking on the go! This is something I actually HATE because I always want to be mentally and emotionally present when I eat. I like to sit down with my food, with no other tasks or distractions, and be completely conscious of what I am feeding myself ๐Ÿฝ Being unaware of the food I eat is a major stressor for me, which once again plays part with my need to control over everything. I guess this is yet another example of my over-emphasis and obsession with food ๐Ÿ˜๐ŸŽโค๏ธ Eating is a necessary part of our existence, yes, but it shouldn't be the central focus of our lives! It should be given thought and acted on accordingly, but not so much that it disables us from performing other equally important day to day tasks. It should be made time for sure, and enjoying the process is a bonus ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ’ฆ but then disregarded until the next meal. For me, I still struggle to focus my attention in classes as my mind ponders possibilities of taste, choice, make up, amount, time and place to eat about my FOOD! ๐Ÿค”๐ŸŽ๐Ÿฅ‘๐Ÿ”๐Ÿช๐Ÿธ It's not normal to place so much thought and value on every single mouthful ๐Ÿฅ„ In fact it's disordered. So in a way, eating something quickly, whilst multitasking and thinking about other things is a real test for my eating disorder. It challenges this part of me that thinks eating as some sacred ritual ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป and devalues it to just another job to complete in the day โœ”๏ธ It's still not easy and I feel as though I'm not giving the food the consideration it deserves, but i know deep down it's another ED habit! Do you do this too? Place too much value on your eating or the food itself? Try doing other things whilst eating in order to normalise the behaviour, as it will relieve you from a whole layer of unnecessary thoughts and stress ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿป xx

idk what it is about being in class but it always makes me SO MUCH MORE HUNGRY than when I'm at home lol so in my hour's break between two lectures I fkn demolished sushi rolls in like 2 minutes no joke

#beef #potpie with #chips for a lunch #challenge. It was fucking hard!!! But soooo delicious ๐Ÿ˜ glad I had my music as a distraction! Adding some more songs to my gig folder that were recommended by some friends. I'm excited to learn and play them. Sometimes food challenges with throw you for six and be harder than expected. But that's ok. It's all part of the deal. Hard days, good days. They all happen. Today I struggled, and that's ok. Because I did my best, and I also won ๐Ÿ˜œ #cafe #lunch #bestrong #recovery #realrecovery #recoveringaussies #recoveryisworthit #nourishnotpunish #togetherwecan #balancednotclean #prorecovery #recoveryispossible #foodisfuel #goodfood #mentalhealth

It's a wear your beat up old converse type a day. Worn in, comfortable & familiar protection for my feet as I forge a new path & take my life in a different and hopefully better, direction. .
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My intention for this post was definitely not a silly metaphor but it just came to me and it kinda fits/feels right

That hair growth though.

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