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#RefeedingSyndrome is a dangerous side effect of recovering from an eating disorder ⚠️🚨 which NOT many people know about! I'd never thought that when I was suddenly started eating, after years of starvation, that my body would try to kill me 😱❌ I mean I thought it would be thankful it was suddenly receiving nutrients! But the body is more complex than that and rapidly introducing a larger intake can be fatal.
The body acts to remain in homeostasis, trying to maintain its internal environment within very narrow limits πŸ™ŒπŸ» Starvation causes it to adjustment functions in order to account for the decreased energy intake. This includes changing the main energy source, reducing red blood cell production and suppressing insulin release. Electrolytes levels also deplete πŸ“‰ The body can still function in this state, however its in "survival mode" and under constant strain πŸ’ͺ🏻
Refeeding is the process of restoring nutrients to the body after a period of malnutrition, but if done without proper medical supervision the body basically fights against the sudden change to its environment πŸ‘ŠπŸ»πŸ’₯ During refeeding, insulin secretion resumes and requires electrolytes such as magnesium, phosphate and potassium which are already in low levels. The use up of these minerals leads to cellular dysfunction and can cause inadequate oxygen supply to tissue and organs πŸ’” Resulting symptoms are fluid retention πŸ’¦ electrolyte disturbances, hypoglycaemia and hypermetabolism πŸ”₯ If unmonitored, it can further lead to cardiac arrhythmia, convulsions, coma and cardiac failure. I myself had several hypoglycaemic episodes where I passed out due to extremely low blood pressure, ending up in ICU.
The beginning of refeeding syndrome can be seen through pitting edema in the ankles, lower limbs or back (bottom left), low blood pressure and blood sugar, thiamine (B1) and electrolyte deficiencies, general weakness and fatigue. It's important to be aware of the severe consequences that come with refeeding after starvation, especially if you decide to begin recovery independently! If you have any of these symptoms whilst in early stages of refeeding please go to your doctor! πŸ‘©πŸΌβ€βš•οΈβœ”οΈ Stay safe xxx

It's coming! πŸ’œ
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For all of my new followers, let me explain what 'Stop the Stigma' is. It is a book that addresses each of the above stigmas with science, insight and lived experience. My aim for this book is to start conversation about ED's and highlight the reality of them. ED's aren't glamorous diets that people choose to have. They are fatal mental illnesses that stem from a biological basis. 'Stop the Stigma' will be the first of its kind and utilises the stories of those with experience of an ED and the discrimination that comes along with it. It is free and will be available to download as a PDF file on my website in early August.
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Thank you to everyone who has contributed to this project. With every story I read, I am amazed and baffled by how under educated society is about Eating Disorders. I hope this book can show you that you are not alone, that there are people in this world going through the same thing; and that you can print this out and give it to every doctor who turns you away for not "looking like you have an Eating Disorder".
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Sorting through all your amazing stories is tough work, so I apologise if I haven't replied to you yet. I am using every story in some way or another, so I can assure you that you will see your writing in this book. Submissions for stories are unfortunately closed because as much as I'd love to read everybody's story, I am only one person. Perhaps there will be scope for a sequel to this book one day, and then I will reopen submissions πŸ’œ

Today I'm embracing my cellulite πŸ™ŒπŸΌπŸ€˜πŸΌπŸ‘ŒπŸΌ
I've got some and I've been noticing it more and more ... and that's perfectly okay!
Our worth is not defined by our bodies. Our value does not stem from what we look like and our beauty is far deeper than our skin.
Never beat yourself up over your body. Your body is the reason you are alive and able to be apart of this world.
Our body and soul are two different things but they work together as one to give you the opportunities life can offer.
Sending love to all you legends... Rock on πŸ€˜πŸΌπŸ’•πŸ˜˜

If anyone ever wants to start a school that runs lessons in "How to feel guilty about everything you do" they should get me to teach them because I'm very good at it. πŸ™ƒ

Afternoon tea today πŸ˜‹ mini macro sweet and salty popcorn + tiny teddies 🍭🍬🍿πŸͺ🐻 things have been pretty chill lately leading into the holidays which I'm actually looking forward to! Spending time with friends and my girlfriend, time on the farm and my family and I are planning a trip to Perth to go to @ikea_adelaide_perth and @whiskcreamery 😝 happy hump-day my loves 😘❀️

Just a moment to celebrate TMS #30, surviving almost seven weeks in hospital, and the fact I'm going home in a few hours.

#smallwins

I woke up in such a terrible headspace. Feeling lost and alone. I was curled up in my bed hiding away and then this suprise package from @frank_bod rocked up.
Thankyou so so much, random acts of kindness really do make the world a better place. You helped me smile and Iam so so greatful. The sweet message you sent along with the package wishing me well in my recovery really touched me. Thankyou for making my world shimmer just that bit brighter πŸ’–

Everyone wish my beautiful boy Rascal 🐢 good luck ❀️as he is having surgery tomorrow to remove some pretty large bladder and kidney stones πŸ’” hopefully my lil deaf baby will be recovering quickly with the cone of shame and causing the floor to vibrate with your snores ❀️
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#mentalillness #ptsd #anorexia #anxiety #depression #edrecovery #recoveringaussies #edwarrior #edfamily #edsoldier
#recovery #ed #anorexianervosa #2fab4ana #foodisfuel #realrecovery #prorecovery #bodyimage #bodypositivity #foodie #recoveryispossible #strongnotskinny #strength #puppy #cavalier #dog

Same day, several hours apart πŸ™‚πŸ™ƒπŸ’›
I often receive comments and questions from confused doctors, nurses and patients asking "so why are you here?" This isn't an uncommon question for me to be asked when I'm in a psychiatric hospital because more often than not, I appear and present to be "perfectly fine" and "seem so happy" πŸ˜„ Some patients even mistake me as staff! It's even more ironic this time as I'm purely in here for treatment of my depression. This is because I'm not your typical depressed person. I don't loom in the dark, unkept and unproductive, hiding from the world until my problems disappear....Rather I'm a bubbly, bright, friendly person who is up, washed, out and doing things before most of world is πŸƒπŸ»β€β™€οΈβœ¨ I'm highly functional but it takes its toll. I hide my true emotions behind my smile, as I find it easier to look like everything is fine than admit how I'm truly feeling πŸ˜ŠπŸ’―πŸ™ŒπŸ» Part of my nature is not wanting to be a nuisance or burden to anyone, and therefore not wanting people to fuss over my problems. My #fakehappiness allows me to go unquestioned by the outside world. But this facade takes a lot of effort to hold up, especially when I'm really hurting. I push myself to do and be the things people expect of me with my happy face plastered over the bullshit, until I am alone and I can finally unravel into a pool of despair πŸ˜©πŸ˜­πŸ˜” My depression is always present but THIS is when it is visible, and not many have the pleasure of witnessing this. I've always been a very emotional person but throughout my younger years I learnt that expressing them freely makes me vulnerable. I got hurt, so I learnt how to control and express them only when I want to πŸ™Š In a way this has made me difficult to read. I even still respond to my psychiatrist with "I'm feeling really shit" with a big grin on my face. I'm now trying my hardest to open up more because it's not good to withhold ALL of my emotion as it eventually builds until I have no choice but to unleash everything in a flood of raw emotion 😣 So, don't assume someone is good, happy or healthy just because they look like it. After all mental illness is invisible and looks can be deceiving......

MOST RECENT

I don't have any recent selfies because I despise how I look but here's one from a few weeks ago.
I'm crashing hard and not feeling at all like doing this anymore. How can you go from having such a positive day to such a low mood πŸ€¦πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ
Grateful for the friends I've made. Grateful for the treatment team. Grateful for my friends.
Yet somehow I feel more like I need to not exist.

I'm still not feeling very well today. My throat is so sore and I'm constantly having coughing fits πŸ‘ŽπŸ» I have my psych appointment in an hour so here's hoping that goes better than DBT group & IT (individual therapy) went this, because they did not go well, at all!

Just a moment to celebrate TMS #30, surviving almost seven weeks in hospital, and the fact I'm going home in a few hours.

#smallwins

Tonight I had a big #recoverywin and I want to share with you guys! Since I've been living in this residential program I've found it really difficult to eat around other members of the community. I slowly became comfortable enough to eat in front of my housemate but never comfortable to eat in front of anyone else in the program. I've been pushing and challenging myself to eat with my Friday group and even managed a piece of birthday cake on Monday at community meeting. But it's all been really forced and far from comfortable or anxiety free. Tonight 2 residents came around for a bit of a goodbye celebration of my housemate. I knew the plan was to order pizza for dinner for it and I was feeling quite anxious and intended to go have dinner at my friends house instead. But instead I stayed, further developed my friendships with the other community members, had fun and ate an appropriate amount of pizza for dinner!!! I also had some biscuits for snacks over the arvo/evening with them. I'm so glad that I pushed through the anxiety and stayed, socialised, ate with them, found that it was ok, that no one even paid attention to me eating. I feel like in future I might feel safer eating around those two and maybe larger portions of the community with more time and challenges. I'll do a proper update on life soon I swear, but tonight just focusing on my win!
Hope your all going strong, I see lots of your challenges and wins on my feed every day and you guys inspire me so much. You make me feel like these challenges are something to celebrate, not be ashamed of. You give me permission to be proud of my achievements and wins. I love this community so very much and I'm thankful to have found you guys every day.

this was breakfast with a banana it was pretty unimpressive tbh

Dinner tonight plus the usual dessert of yog + mandarin
Had my monthly check w/ the paediatrician today which sucked as per

Everyone wish my beautiful boy Rascal 🐢 good luck ❀️as he is having surgery tomorrow to remove some pretty large bladder and kidney stones πŸ’” hopefully my lil deaf baby will be recovering quickly with the cone of shame and causing the floor to vibrate with your snores ❀️
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#mentalillness #ptsd #anorexia #anxiety #depression #edrecovery #recoveringaussies #edwarrior #edfamily #edsoldier
#recovery #ed #anorexianervosa #2fab4ana #foodisfuel #realrecovery #prorecovery #bodyimage #bodypositivity #foodie #recoveryispossible #strongnotskinny #strength #puppy #cavalier #dog

Afternoon tea today πŸ˜‹ mini macro sweet and salty popcorn + tiny teddies 🍭🍬🍿πŸͺ🐻 things have been pretty chill lately leading into the holidays which I'm actually looking forward to! Spending time with friends and my girlfriend, time on the farm and my family and I are planning a trip to Perth to go to @ikea_adelaide_perth and @whiskcreamery 😝 happy hump-day my loves 😘❀️

Today started off terribly but ended beautifully with one of my fabulous friends offering her place to stay at until I'm feeling safer and then we're road tripping her back to Brisbane @qqlisackova you are the best ❀️ it's kind of fucking me over because I was planning on overdosing but NOT overdosing is a much better idea you know? So this is good you know? And my safety is important regardless of how much it feels like the opposite. Eating burritos for dinner and then going to sleep and then tomorrow we're doing craft and then I have my last DBT group for the semester. Freaking out for DBT break is an understatement. I am strong for not overdosing please someone tell me I'm doing the right thing because it feels so wrong.

Dinner was too scary. Too many things on one plate that I couldn't handle. I opted for the meal exchange instead. I'm supposed to have 2 ensures for a main but they only gave me 1. .....im just not going to say anything. Hopefully the staff complete lack of training and stupidity will continue throughout the evening. They don't sit with us for meals, they don't watch us and don't write down what we do or do not eat. I'm sick of their inconsistency. Do your Fucking job for fucks sake. All they care about is when their break is and each other. Bullshit. Day staff are brilliant, strict and are consistent. It's like their IQ level decreases the later the shift. S2g it makes me angry.
EDIT. They made me have the second ensure πŸ™πŸ™ƒ

Now watch me whip mother fuckers!
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STORY TIME!!!
Yesterday I went to the GP and he weighed me , obs and bloods. My weight had gone down a bit when I was supposed to gain despite eating more however he was happy to let me go as the physical observations and bloods were all good... However bloody CAMHS found out I lost and said to my parents they could either present me to ED at FSH and volunteer me IP or I would be sectioned and taken against my will. I was listening on the line while my parents were talking (well close to shouting) at the care coordinator person saying about how the system had almost killed me twice and and traumatised me bla bla bla. So after a lot of arguing (from them not me for once!) CAMHS finally agreed to let me go to ED at St. John of god. β€’
Now if you read this you will see that the GP had cleared me and so a team of phycologists with very little medical knowledge and no eating disorder knowledge contradicted a medical professional -- just saying
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So me and mum went to ED wetting ourselves (srsly I peed like 10 times in the three hours we were there) and everything worked out amazing! My obs , BSL and ECG were all on point and the nurses were just amazing and so lovely I honestly just wanted to hug them all πŸ€—
They didn't know either why CAMHS sent me there and disregarded the GP's advice but there you go.
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So that's why I put that story up saying sorry because I thought I was a failure and was going IP and that everything was going to go wrong but I'm SO HAPPY NOW! Ready to fucking squash Ed and rip his insides out! Seriously though I am so determined to beat this and get one with life because this is not a life!

got home from work and immediately face planted into a massive bowl of couscous and pumpkin salad. I feel so inadequate at work; I know I'm new and inexperienced but I feel like my boss doesn't really like me and gets annoyed when I mess things up, and I was hired around the same time as another new girl and I notice she's been given way more shifts each week than me so I feel like I'm probably useless compared to her and she's picked thing up way faster than me and aaa

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