Day 8. This melon cleanse had really allowed me to peer deeper into myself. I thought I could see my patterns clearly, but I find there are levels to clarity. You can still play hide and seek with yourself under the guise of the best intentions. The mind is a tricky one...
It's funny because I finally realized -
Other people don't play games with you. They don't have that kind of control. You're in a reality where you are playing games with yourself and they come to join you. If you're wasting time you'll find plenty of people who can assist you in wasting more. And you best believe that when you decide to cut through the viels that trials and tribulations will appear for active practice.
Here I am, still learning how to come back to myself after every intimate moment of living. Here I am, still finding layers of emotional patterning and illusion to wash off. Here I am, still realizing that my own mental paradigms are the creators fabricating all suffering I experience.
I'm tired of running. I'm tired of seeking.
I'm tired of turning to the sky with hands open, asking for a blessing, for a baptism, for a resurrection of purity.
I'm tired of thinking the key to the kingdom of heaven is anywhere other than within my Self.
As if the garden of Eden isn't right before me, patiently awaiting my arrival with true Sight.
No more games.
I choose God.