"In January 2014, my husband and I found out we were expecting. We had just started trying and this was a welcomed surprise!
When we went in for our first sonogram, we learned that our baby's gestational timeline and size did not add up, and there was no detectable heartbeat. Our doctor suspected that I may have had a miscarriage, but we were told to come back in a week to see if there was any growth of the baby. There was a possibility that we had miscalculated the date of conception. We were so discouraged and heartbroken, but prayed for a miracle during the longest week of our lives. I'd had no symptoms of a miscarriage yet, and we clung to the tiny sliver of hope.
The next week during our sonogram, our worst fear came true. The baby had not grown and there was still no heartbeat. Together we decided I'd opt out of having a D&C. Instead, I'd take a pill that would force my body into physically miscarrying. After going to the pharmacy and having to consult with the pharmacist, I had not realized this (Cytotec aka misoprostol) was also the way that early-on pregnancies were aborted. It was the absolute worst pain I have experienced, in addition to the emotional torment of it all.
About one year later, we were happy (and pretty scared) to learn that we were expecting again. But, a few weeks later, I recognized the terrible symptoms... I was miscarrying again. After a follow up with the doctor, we were told the Cytotec would be necessary once again because my body hadn't fully recognized that it wasn't pregnant anymore.
While going through this for the second time, I couldn't help but be angry. Angry to be doing this to my body again, and angry that some choose to take this pill for an unwanted pregnancy when we so badly wanted and prayed to be pregnant.
Three months later, I was pregnant again. Though nervous, cautious and sometimes fearful, we finally got to hear our baby's heartbeat! On January 22, 2016, we welcomed our rainbow baby, Emorie, into the world! She's 18 months old now. I tell my husband sometimes that I think God gave us our active, but very affectionate, little girl as a comfort for the babies that we lost."- Lindsey #standforlife