It’s been a week! I don’t know about anyone else but this month has a lot of “pressure” associated with it. As a suicide survivor I feel a duty to raise as much awareness and reach out to as many people as I can while still pretending to be strong enough to handle it all. Some days are great and others just slam our asses to the bed. I told myself, or maybe I tricked myself into thinking that I could stop my medications and start the process of coming off of them. It’s been about 6 months and there’s no upcoming major events to knock me down... so why not? (I do not recommend doing this without the clear advice of a medical professional) This transition has to be one of the hardest because you know there’s an end to the withdrawal symptoms, there’s an end to everything. But you add the additional exposure of suicide and it starts pushing your mind to question what you’re even fighting for. Everything around you seems pointless, you stop taking care of yourself and won’t shower, brush your teeth, eat, brush your hair, drink water, take your meds. It’s draining. No one likes to paint that picture of themselves but it is wholeheartedly the truth. Your bed locked under the covers shaking, worrying, and pondering. It’s not a great place to be. But there’s hope. ALWAYS there’s something that moves us forward, a curiosity of what if. Painting is that “power” for me so it’s really said that I haven’t been in the studio for a WEEK. You best believe that I changed that this morning and I was able to go in and conquer some purple paint on this beauty. Whatcha think? Thank you to each and every single one of you who has stuck with me through this. I promise to continue fighting my battles and teaching in the process. Let me know if there’s something that you’d like to learn!
#teachwhatyoulove #abstractpainting #artdoinggood #suicideprevention #project #spreadyourwings #forrealthough #depressionsucks #pdxartist #mentalhealthjourney #recovery #itsalongroad #struggles #depression #anxiety #pyschosis #bpd #arttherapy