Saw this today and related so much. So much loss lately, fear, death of hope, slowness and anger. I'm just trying to find a reason to keep it all together. To find a purpose in life where my biggest dreams seem impossible, improbable.
"Pray for strength"...I already have strength in abundance, I've been building strength since the moment I took my first breath. .
I have prayed my ass off. I have prayed for others, prayed for the world, prayed for the souls filled with fear and darkness. I prayed for Charlie in 2015, I prayed for Iris in 2017 and I prayed for Naomi in 2018 and my babies are still gone. It did nothing. Changed nothing. Helped nothing. No answer, no resolution, just me putting myself back together to be torn apart.
What I'm looking for is a reason to still pray, because all of mine are gone. All my will to be selfless is gone. All my trust in You is gone.
As I said before, I can no longer trust something, pray to someone, who is so careless with my heart and soul. We are taught trust is earned, I don't know how this one will ever be rebuilt.
That's all from me today.
#Miscarriage #Loss #RecurrentMiscarriage #AngelMom #PurposeOfLife #Prayer #Trust #Healing #InfantLoss #Pregnancy #PregnancyLoss #MyHeartHurts