Hey guys. This post is really marked with a huge TW, very open and relentless. So like I promised here are pictures with examples of what a binge might have looked for me in the past. Like I Already explained on tellonym I basically had 2 binges every day. Mostly it was a “hot” one with cooked food and one “cold” one with buns, candy, fruits, puddings what ever. But buns were a must, every day. The pictures show an order by delivery, the second “a couple” of convenient meals like Tortellini, spaghetti, mashed potatoes and what else. The last 4 depict the amounts of food I bought everyday. Mostly cheap and much but sometimes also some higher priced stuff. I know it’s hard to believe that a girl under 30kgs could a) carry all this stuff home at once(!) and b) eat all that but I guess it had a reason my dietitian called me “mrs pork belly” 😂 we both had a strange way of humor concerning my ed - but I liked that.
Well bingeing itself was my drug - I was like on Turkey. Every night when it was over I went to bed and started making plans where to buy stuff the next day for not being to conspicuous. It often left me sleepless thinking about every arrangement I had to make. There were times I went to the stores before 7am and waited till they finally opened. I also binged everywhere possible. OC best thing was peacefully at home but when mom was around...not possible. So I went to public spots like the cafeteria of an hospital, ate for about two hours the stuff I brought by myself and then went on the visitors toilet and flushed it all down. I even told my family stuff like I’m spending the night at a friends but in reality I booked hotel rooms and had my “trips” there. I know it sounds crazy and I often cannot believe it myself but like I said - I was a junkie for food. And tbh I loved it eventhough it was exhausting and stressed me out. But those three hours I allowed myself for one binge were the ultimate level of enjoyment and peace!
So much for a little explanation. I hope this wasn’t too detailed, too gross. I’m just really happy that you guys are so interested in seeing all faces of ed and what an addiction can cause us to do.
Have a lovely Friday night. ❤