#psoriaticcolitis

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I want to say thank each one of you who are tuning into my YouTube Channel daily and watching my Vlog. I have gotten so many private messages and the overall response has been so positive. I am happy to share my life and show the real/raw me. My goal is to inspire people through my use of social media. So as I go though my edits I can say the happiness in my eyes in this screenshot is not a mask or fake for my vlog. Recording my snippets makes me happy inside as I know my sharing is impacting so many people. Thanks again to those of you who have subscribed. If you haven't done so yet I am asking for you to go ahead and click that subscribe button. The more people who subscribe and the more views my posts get the more likely my tags are in a better place on the search page. The link is in my bio. 🖤
#spoonie #warrior #wonderwoman #autoimmunedisease #chronicillness #chronicpain #raredisease #psoriaticarthritis #psoriaticcolitis #seizures #tachycardia #ptsd #anxiety #treatment #recovery #youtuber #youtube #vlog #vlogger #inspire

August 11th is a day my soul feels a deep emptiness for it's the day the most influential woman in my life took her last breath on this earth. Each year I have toasted her life with some form of alcohol to some how numb my own pain. However, this year I am on very high dose antibiotics for an infection that just won't go away. So we decided to make some new fun memories by heading to The Shore House. It was a fun drive up and the evening was spent on the OC Boardwalk. My agoraphobia and anxiety was trying to win but I stayed. I stayed without taking any meds and only leaning on my @service_dog_flo for support. I'm proud of myself for all I was able to accomplish today. Plus I even managed to get my vlog done and posted. As a really good friend of mine always tells me it's all about the baby steps 💚
#spoonie #warrior #wonderwoman #autoimmunedisease #chronicillness #chronicpain #raredisease #psoriaticarthritis #psoriaticcolitis #seizures #tachycardia #ptsd #anxiety #treatment #recovery #youtuber #youtube #vlog #vlogger #inspire

Some days I find myself struggling so badly to understand how the cards I have been dealt are "fair" or how do my extreme negatives balance out other people's positives?!?! Exactly 1 year ago I was laying under anesthesia having surgery on my spine in hopes I could gain more mobility and be in less pain. Then at end of August 2016 I was told I had a bad UTI but that wasn't all it actually was.... I had picked up ecoli and it had moved its way into my kidneys and blood. After many in hospital IV antibiotics I was stable...but every two months since then I've battled a repeat infection. Today, the pain was too much so I gave in and went to see my Dr. after some tests the conclusion is the ecoli just won't go away. There are little options to get rid of this lingering infection for good. To say I'm discouraged is an understatement. This constant war I am in has me laying down waving the white flag tonight. I need true rest but do not know when my body will allow it?!? Looking at booking a hotel room in DC to simply disappear for 2-3 days. Truly unplug. Go off grid. Sleep and try to give my mind and body an opportunity to heal just a little bit.
#spoonie #warrior #wonderwoman #autoimmunedisease #chronicillness #chronicpain #raredisease #psoriaticarthritis #psoriaticcolitis #seizures #tachycardia #ptsd #anxiety #vasculitis #treatment #recovery #thinking #deepinthought #spinning #beautifullybroken #perfectlyimperfect #portacath #linetomyheart

Exhaustion has turned into a complete loss of all energy. I was really wanting to go into treatment tomorrow feeling better than I do but that's not my reality. Starting Saturday night I was hit with a massive left side simple partial seizure. I treated it at home but all through until noon today I have had "aftershocks"...12 total! My vision is struggling to come fully back so I have to go see my ophthalmologist asap to find out if more parts of my optic nerve have frayed off. Plus my hearing is less than usual in my right ear...it's so frustrating as I was almost 3 months "major" seizure free. 😔 This brain cycle came with out warning. Even @service_dog_flo missed alerting me as I showed no "tells". I wasn't in a highly emotional state. I hadn't consumed any sulfates. I didn't forget to take my meds at any point in the day. I was up on my hydration and nutrition supplements with the allowed caffeine intake. I was happy for once and my soul had found a small place of rest as I spent the day with my oldest daughter. So everything on my "possible triggers list" from my Dr were proven not to be a cause. Hell Week started a day early this month and I'm begging the Gods each day isn't worse than the day before it. 3 days in with 2 chemo treatments, 1 large steroid injection and 1 IV hydration left to go and I'm already out of Spoons 🥄 😔 oh well I guess it's time to try sleeping some. Goodnight Moon 🌙
#spoonie #warrior #wonderwoman #autoimmunedisease #chronicillness #chronicpain #raredisease #psoriaticarthritis #psoriaticcolitis #seizures #tachycardia #ptsd #anxiety #vasculitis #treatment #recovery #inkedgirl #tattooedgirl

Finally getting back to spending time away from normal daily life in my favorite city. No plans. No expectations. No rules. No budget. Room service has been ordered and movie has been selected. Pup is settled in and so am I!!! Yeah ummm I sooooo love this #hotellife far more than #hospitallife 😊#spoonie #warrior #wonderwoman #autoimmunedisease #chronicillness #chronicpain #raredisease #psoriaticarthritis #psoriaticcolitis #seizures #tachycardia #ptsd #anxiety #vasculitis #treatment #depression #recovery

I want to thank everyone for all the DM's received. I've been asked for health/life updates so many times but haven't had any new info to give. Somedays are better than others. This is life with multiple chronic illnesses. Since last Wed I've struggled more than usual w/eating. The nausea is so intense...nothing will take it away. No Pharm Meds, Essential Oils, Teas...not even Herbs! When I finally feel like trying to eat I either throw up or it passes through me in 15-30mins. As for fluids...well per usual no matter how much or what I drink I'm not hydrating. Add to it strange swelling/fluid retention it makes for very confused Drs & an uncomfortable me. Kidney/Bladder pain is unreal! Example: I can weigh 132lbs at 8pm then weigh 148lbs at 8am the next day! That's a 16lbs difference/gain over night! So as you can imagine the struggle to find balance is becoming more difficult for me. Yesterday, I wasn't feeling my best but all in all, minus a few bumps in the road, had a great day. Until around 8pm. My head pain was increasing & all I wanted to do was crawl into bed to color. I took my meds, put my pjs on & sat on my floor to look through my books. At that time my Hubby & I agreed I should try eating a little something. He left the room to go make it & my youngest daughter came in to look at my books with me...I remember nothing until waking up at 9am this morning. I'm told I passed out/went unconscious. Bree caught me, tried to wake me then ran for help. My girls & Hubby got me stable. He picked me up, placed me in bed & I ate a small bit. He said I didn't move once through the night even when he would check my pulse & breathing rhythm. IDK what happened TBH. One thing I know for sure is yet again they saved my life!
#spoonie #warrior #wonderwoman #autoimmunedisease #chronicillness #chronicpain #raredisease #psoriaticarthritis #psoriaticcolitis #seizures #tachycardia #ptsd #anxiety #vasculitis #treatment #recovery

Saturday was our 3rd year in a row seeing @flagaline #FloridaGeorgiaLine for 1 of our #AnniversaryGifts to each other. Friday night my #anxiety was building. It was triggered w/not being able to pick an outfit but between @heyyy.its.destiny & my best friend 🐺 we picked the perfect 1. Saturday afternoon feeling "human" & "pretty enough" wasn't happening. I took time to do my #makeup , threw on a #wig & my Parents @ivie_theglassmangroup @w.o.t_boatlife put my mind at ease by watching my girls including @ServiceDogFlo Upon arriving at the venue I took 2 Ativan & promised myself I would let go for a few hours. We hung out, laughed a lot, ran into old friends & just enjoyed being out. It was also @shaneraimond 1st Pit experience so that was fun to watch & as for me music is my #safeplace Many times I just stood there letting the vibrations & positive energy wash over me. Getting lost within myself while being in a crowd of 25,000 people. Agoraphobia did not win!!! Overall it was a good time...only complaint is FGL didn't perform as well as they have in the past, it was rushed through & the set list didn't flow. I wish they would have done more songs from their current album instead of doing 6 songs that are played out! After the last couple days my body is highly pissed off! Many really scary symptoms & high pain levels. I've been in bed resting since 3pm Sunday. Fortunately tomorrow I can rest some as well. I hate that I can't just do "normal" things but after years of balancing #SpoonieLife I now know that 1 night out requires 2-3 days of #recovery Being #chronicallyill really is tough but I refuse to let all my diseases win! I deserve to be happy & to escape from time to time. #music #countrymusic #fgl #concert #jiffylubelive #smile #escape #autoimmunedisease #chronicillness #chronicpain #raredisease #psoriaticarthritis #psoriaticcolitis #seizures #tachycardia #ptsd #treatment

Social Media has become a big part of my life. I have personal pages, professional pages, a page for all my favorite quotes, a page for my service dog, & a page dedicated to self harm recovery. Plus I am fortunate to make a living doing social media management for some fantastic clients. Socials are a blessing & at times a curse. However, I still feel like one of the best decisions I made was going public with my IG page 5 years ago. Why? Because I found a whole community of people going through the same stuff I was/am. Be it chronic illness, mental illness, being a survivor of abuse or many other things. I was happy to have found people just like me. I became involved in support groups & eventually started many FB private groups. All of which I still take part in but not as often as I used to. The last two years have been a huge learning experience for me & I am finally ready to go public instead of using a pen name for the blogs I write. Plus start a new vlog that will take you through a day in the life of me. I plan to post a new video every other day on my YouTube channel but depending on how I feel it could be daily😊 I have to say I'm cautiously optimistic about this adventure but have been told by so many that I'm the strongest person they know & I must share my story. Once my channel is up I'll post the link in my bio. I will also let everyone know each time a new vlog is posted. Thank you all for your support it means the world to me.
#spoonie #warrior #wonderwoman #autoimmunedisease #chronicillness #chronicpain #raredisease #psoriaticarthritis #psoriaticcolitis #seizures #tachycardia #ptsd #anxiety #treatment #recovery #vlog #support #excited #thismatters #wanttosee #mylife

My Dr telling me 'there is no cure' was absolutely devastating. I remember sitting there quite stunned thinking this can not be it for life. Our body's ability to heal is greater than you could ever imagine. You CAN get better. You CAN rebuild a healthy immune system. The temptation to drug and suppress as a quick fix is very real ... but this is true, long term healing through food as medicine 🌿 #psorasis #psoriase #psoriaticcolitis #psoriasisproblems #psoriasisskin #skincare #eczema #eczéma #eczemaproblems #dryskin #rash #skin #medicine #healing #beforeandafter #beforeafter #beforeandduring #beforeandafterpic

MOST RECENT

I want to say thank each one of you who are tuning into my YouTube Channel daily and watching my Vlog. I have gotten so many private messages and the overall response has been so positive. I am happy to share my life and show the real/raw me. My goal is to inspire people through my use of social media. So as I go though my edits I can say the happiness in my eyes in this screenshot is not a mask or fake for my vlog. Recording my snippets makes me happy inside as I know my sharing is impacting so many people. Thanks again to those of you who have subscribed. If you haven't done so yet I am asking for you to go ahead and click that subscribe button. The more people who subscribe and the more views my posts get the more likely my tags are in a better place on the search page. The link is in my bio. 🖤
#spoonie #warrior #wonderwoman #autoimmunedisease #chronicillness #chronicpain #raredisease #psoriaticarthritis #psoriaticcolitis #seizures #tachycardia #ptsd #anxiety #treatment #recovery #youtuber #youtube #vlog #vlogger #inspire

"I asked her if she believed in love, and she smiled then said it was her most elaborate form of self-harm." -Benedict Smith
After being blindsided yet again last evening I've been forced to sit back and just process things today. I've come to some terms on how I will proceed from here and they are not going to be easy at all. I will struggle with the sacrifice of myself and I will miss those things I was doing for self care that make me feel semi "normal"...that make me feel "beautiful"...that give me the headspace I rely on to survive. However, I don't see any other ways to deal with all I am facing at this time. I desire for time to help heal things as I focus on my kids, my medical issues, my work, my animals and my vlog.
#spoonie #warrior #wonderwoman #autoimmunedisease #chronicillness #chronicpain #raredisease #psoriaticarthritis #psoriaticcolitis #seizures #tachycardia #ptsd #anxiety #treatment #recovery #youtuber #youtube #vlog #vlogger #inspire

It's hard work keeping Momma calm. We went to the boardwalk in Ocean City, MD for the human kids to enjoy all the games and rides. With all the noise, flashing lights and people I made sure Momma was ok at all times. She was very proud of me for not eating everything that was on the ground....but let me tell you those French Fries smelled soooo good!

#servicedog #servicedogflo #workingdog #medicalertdog #lab #blacklab #labrador #dog #dogsofinstagram #lovemyjob #worklife #support #spoonie #warrior #wonderwoman #autoimmunedisease #chronicillness #chronicpain #raredisease #psoriaticarthritis #psoriaticcolitis #seizures #tachycardia #ptsd #anxiety #treatment #recovery

August 11th is a day my soul feels a deep emptiness for it's the day the most influential woman in my life took her last breath on this earth. Each year I have toasted her life with some form of alcohol to some how numb my own pain. However, this year I am on very high dose antibiotics for an infection that just won't go away. So we decided to make some new fun memories by heading to The Shore House. It was a fun drive up and the evening was spent on the OC Boardwalk. My agoraphobia and anxiety was trying to win but I stayed. I stayed without taking any meds and only leaning on my @service_dog_flo for support. I'm proud of myself for all I was able to accomplish today. Plus I even managed to get my vlog done and posted. As a really good friend of mine always tells me it's all about the baby steps 💚
#spoonie #warrior #wonderwoman #autoimmunedisease #chronicillness #chronicpain #raredisease #psoriaticarthritis #psoriaticcolitis #seizures #tachycardia #ptsd #anxiety #treatment #recovery #youtuber #youtube #vlog #vlogger #inspire

The last few days have been quite "normal" for once. I miss having a daily routine when my daughters are on Summer Break. My mind thrives with consistently and being busy. It's the only way I don't play with or listen to the voices in my head. The hardest part is when Night falls. So I make sure I am wearing my headphones once I get into bed. I am looking forward to a long weekend at our Shore House and time to process some things I have been stuck playing them on repeat. I hope everyone had a great day today and don't forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel.
#spoonie #warrior #wonderwoman #autoimmunedisease #chronicillness #chronicpain #raredisease #psoriaticarthritis #psoriaticcolitis #seizures #tachycardia #ptsd #anxiety #treatment #recovery #highheels #Blackhairdontcare
#bikini #allblackeverything
#quote #thinking #deepinthought #spinning

Wellllll as promised my YouTube Channel is public and first video posted. The link is now in my bio...if I said I wasn't nervous for this next adventure I would be lying! My goal in doing this vlog is to help and inspire others. To show that I'm not perfect but I have a fight in my soul that burns strong. Thank you all for your support....please head over and subscribe 🖤
#youtuber #youtube #subscribe #inspire #vlog #vlogger #mylife #mypath #spoonie #warrior #wonderwoman #autoimmunedisease #chronicillness #chronicpain #raredisease #psoriaticarthritis #psoriaticcolitis #seizures #tachycardia #ptsd #anxiety #treatment #recovery

Social Media has become a big part of my life. I have personal pages, professional pages, a page for all my favorite quotes, a page for my service dog, & a page dedicated to self harm recovery. Plus I am fortunate to make a living doing social media management for some fantastic clients. Socials are a blessing & at times a curse. However, I still feel like one of the best decisions I made was going public with my IG page 5 years ago. Why? Because I found a whole community of people going through the same stuff I was/am. Be it chronic illness, mental illness, being a survivor of abuse or many other things. I was happy to have found people just like me. I became involved in support groups & eventually started many FB private groups. All of which I still take part in but not as often as I used to. The last two years have been a huge learning experience for me & I am finally ready to go public instead of using a pen name for the blogs I write. Plus start a new vlog that will take you through a day in the life of me. I plan to post a new video every other day on my YouTube channel but depending on how I feel it could be daily😊 I have to say I'm cautiously optimistic about this adventure but have been told by so many that I'm the strongest person they know & I must share my story. Once my channel is up I'll post the link in my bio. I will also let everyone know each time a new vlog is posted. Thank you all for your support it means the world to me.
#spoonie #warrior #wonderwoman #autoimmunedisease #chronicillness #chronicpain #raredisease #psoriaticarthritis #psoriaticcolitis #seizures #tachycardia #ptsd #anxiety #treatment #recovery #vlog #support #excited #thismatters #wanttosee #mylife

Saturday was our 3rd year in a row seeing @flagaline #FloridaGeorgiaLine for 1 of our #AnniversaryGifts to each other. Friday night my #anxiety was building. It was triggered w/not being able to pick an outfit but between @heyyy.its.destiny & my best friend 🐺 we picked the perfect 1. Saturday afternoon feeling "human" & "pretty enough" wasn't happening. I took time to do my #makeup , threw on a #wig & my Parents @ivie_theglassmangroup @w.o.t_boatlife put my mind at ease by watching my girls including @ServiceDogFlo Upon arriving at the venue I took 2 Ativan & promised myself I would let go for a few hours. We hung out, laughed a lot, ran into old friends & just enjoyed being out. It was also @shaneraimond 1st Pit experience so that was fun to watch & as for me music is my #safeplace Many times I just stood there letting the vibrations & positive energy wash over me. Getting lost within myself while being in a crowd of 25,000 people. Agoraphobia did not win!!! Overall it was a good time...only complaint is FGL didn't perform as well as they have in the past, it was rushed through & the set list didn't flow. I wish they would have done more songs from their current album instead of doing 6 songs that are played out! After the last couple days my body is highly pissed off! Many really scary symptoms & high pain levels. I've been in bed resting since 3pm Sunday. Fortunately tomorrow I can rest some as well. I hate that I can't just do "normal" things but after years of balancing #SpoonieLife I now know that 1 night out requires 2-3 days of #recovery Being #chronicallyill really is tough but I refuse to let all my diseases win! I deserve to be happy & to escape from time to time. #music #countrymusic #fgl #concert #jiffylubelive #smile #escape #autoimmunedisease #chronicillness #chronicpain #raredisease #psoriaticarthritis #psoriaticcolitis #seizures #tachycardia #ptsd #treatment

Loving what you have in life.... I'm not the thinnest.
I'm not the fittest.
I'm the prettiest.
And I've gained 30 lbs from my new meds.
But I'm walking, working and most of all... living!

I have not smiled like this in a long time. 6 years ago I went to the beach. I walked, I swam, I flirted, i laughed, and it was the next day I couldn't move from the hips down. By that Wednesday it hit my spine and traveled to the rest of my body.
It was that week I was diagnosed with psoriaticarthritis and spondolitis. The beach represents the end of my old life and the beginning of my new one. The beach didn't make me sick but it made the flare-up worse and I've honestly been scared of it ever since. And brings a lot of anxiety, fears, and memories.

Yesterday with the support of friends I was able to at least conquer this fear. It doesn't mean that I'm still not scared at the beach but this was a huge step forward and as they say sometimes the first step is the hardest. I had to be carried back from the beach (hahaha) and use my cane, but I did it! It's probably one of my most proudest moments and honestly one of the hardest that still brings tears to my eyes.

The love and support that I got from the people that care about me and know what was going on meant the world. Sometimes we don't know how strong we are until we're forced to face the fears we never expected to have. And you have to know that it's not about being the strongest but knowing the people you need to surround yourself with to help you find your own strength and help support you when you cannot.

Yesterday I had some of my happiest moments and I can't tell you how much that touches my heart.

#spooniebeauty #spoonielife #ptsd #warrior #fightingforward #nevergiveup
#psoriaticarthritis #autoimmunediseases #spondolitis #psoriaticcolitis #depression #beachlife #summershine #conqueringfears #lovinglife

"It's when She put her hands on either side of my face, and the room falls away.
I have never gotten so lost in a kiss before. And then, the space between us explodes.
My heart keeps missing beats and my hands cannot bring her close enough to me.
I taste her and realize I have been starving.
I have loved before, but it didn't feel like this.
I have a kiss before, but it didn't burn me alive.
Maybe it lasts a minute, and maybe it's an hour.
All I know is that kiss, and how soft her skin is when it brushes against mine, and that even if I did not know it until now, I have been waiting for her forever." #kiss #love #husband #gladheshome #goals #inkedcouple #ink #sleeve #support #hokahey #spoonie #warrior #wonderwoman #autoimmunedisease #chronicillness #chronicpain #raredisease #psoriaticarthritis #psoriaticcolitis #seizures #tachycardia #ptsd #anxiety #recovery #thor #blackandwhite

@nfrealmusic New single dropped at midnight and I'm obsessed. I find all of NFs lyrics to hit home at the exact time I'm going through some tough shit. 🎼🎹"I don't hear nothing y'all are saying I just sit at the keys just feelin the music..." 🎹 🎶
I can't wait for more healing to happen to me through this whole album. Now to wait for it to drop. Praying it's soon!!! #musicismylife #musiciahealing #nf #nfrealmusic #powerful #inneedthisshit #rapesurvivor #spoonie #warrior #wonderwoman #autoimmunedisease #chronicillness #chronicpain #raredisease #psoriaticarthritis #psoriaticcolitis #seizures #tachycardia #ptsd #anxiety #treatment #recovery

I've had many people criticize me for the methods in which I choose to survive. Buying my car, piercings, tattoos, choice in music, allowing my daughters to stay up too late, taking my son to get tattooed, etc. 🙄People seem to think that I care about the fact they would not choose what I would. The funny thing is in my opinion if what is being done is not hurting anyone or anything than what are we even talking about?!?!? Yes, I didn't have the extra money to buy my dream car...but with much saving, gaining several new clients, many discussions with my husband, 10 years of research, 2 years narrowing down a couple options and many test drives later I drove off the car lot in MY Mustang!!! Since that night in February I still get excited to drive him, plan out all the modifications, decorate him with all the Joker/Harley items he has, learning every feeling and recognizing each noise he makes. I actually smile when I think about him and each night before I head up to bed I check to make sure the garage doors are closed then tell him "Goodnight". My car is one way I can get a release and is also a positive place to shift my focus when my whole world is spinning around me. If a car helps me take less mental health medications than so be it! #mustanggt #mustangmonday #spoonie #warrior #wonderwoman #autoimmunedisease #chronicillness #chronicpain #raredisease #psoriaticarthritis #psoriaticcolitis #seizures #tachycardia #ptsd #anxiety #treatment #recovery #puddin #mustanggt #drivenbyagirl #mustang #fordmustang #heelsandwheels #femaleowned #pinup #mustanggirl #girldriver #ladydriver #musclecar

Treatment selfie with the mommerz....very tired will write more tomorrow...sleep tight!!!! #treatyoself #autoimmunediseases #fightingforward #psoriaticarthritis #psoriaticcolitis #spondylitis #ptsd #spooniewarriors #spooniebeauty #familylove

Exhaustion has turned into a complete loss of all energy. I was really wanting to go into treatment tomorrow feeling better than I do but that's not my reality. Starting Saturday night I was hit with a massive left side simple partial seizure. I treated it at home but all through until noon today I have had "aftershocks"...12 total! My vision is struggling to come fully back so I have to go see my ophthalmologist asap to find out if more parts of my optic nerve have frayed off. Plus my hearing is less than usual in my right ear...it's so frustrating as I was almost 3 months "major" seizure free. 😔 This brain cycle came with out warning. Even @service_dog_flo missed alerting me as I showed no "tells". I wasn't in a highly emotional state. I hadn't consumed any sulfates. I didn't forget to take my meds at any point in the day. I was up on my hydration and nutrition supplements with the allowed caffeine intake. I was happy for once and my soul had found a small place of rest as I spent the day with my oldest daughter. So everything on my "possible triggers list" from my Dr were proven not to be a cause. Hell Week started a day early this month and I'm begging the Gods each day isn't worse than the day before it. 3 days in with 2 chemo treatments, 1 large steroid injection and 1 IV hydration left to go and I'm already out of Spoons 🥄 😔 oh well I guess it's time to try sleeping some. Goodnight Moon 🌙
#spoonie #warrior #wonderwoman #autoimmunedisease #chronicillness #chronicpain #raredisease #psoriaticarthritis #psoriaticcolitis #seizures #tachycardia #ptsd #anxiety #vasculitis #treatment #recovery #inkedgirl #tattooedgirl

It's been a very long last 3 days as Momma has been doing poorly. Today we've spent 6.5 hours at the hospital hoping to get her hydrated and to bring up her blood pressure. We are looking forward to a day to sleep in tomorrow as Poppa will be leaving early.
#servicedog #servicedogflo #workingdog #medicalertdog #lab #blacklab #labrador #dog #dogsofinstagram #lovemyjob #worklife #support #hokahey

#spoonie #warrior #wonderwoman #autoimmunedisease #chronicillness #chronicpain #raredisease #psoriaticarthritis #psoriaticcolitis #seizures #tachycardia #ptsd #anxiety #vasculitis #treatment #recovery

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