I’ve noticed lately that there are women who are feeling like a failure because they didn’t “behave” a certain way in labour.
In a lot of natural birthing communities, birth stories and birth videos/photos are shared. From the outside looking in, it appears the women are having amazing, calm, ecstatic, even pleasurable births. It seems to have become the epitome of natural birth. A very clean, calm, picturesque ideal of birth.
So when a woman experiences her own labour as a loss of control, where she yells, cries, screams, feels every ounce of pain, there’s a sense of disappointment. That somehow, she didn’t do birth right.
But I don’t believe in the notion that birth has to be quiet, painless and peaceful.
A woman who roars, cries, yells, swears throughout her labor is no less amazing than the woman who is silent and seemingly in control.
Sometimes birth is animalistic. Sometimes birth is painful. Sometimes birth is loud. Sometimes it’s messy.
Sometimes the birth teaches us to let go of expectations and go with it. Sometimes, that loss of control is exactly what you need to learn in that moment. Because birth can’t be controlled.
From an outside perspective, I view the woman roaring through her labour as a powerful goddess of strength.
There is no “better” way to birth. Each birth is unique and holds a powerful lesson. Photo from @ashleymarstonphotography