Maybe it's the simple memories like this one that bring out the most hurt in my heart. To know that the simplest of tasks, or the quietest moments will never happen again for you. I think that's where I struggle, that you are not here anymore and you left. It's just done. It can't be changed and that alone tears me up.
I often find myself in the thoughts of your last moments. What did you look at? What did you say to yourself? What was the last thing you said out loud? What did you feel? What was your last thought? Where you scared? Did you feel any pain?Who did you think of as you left? What made you get out of bed? Why didn't you just go back to sleep? Why did you have to go?
I get lost in those questions when I least expect it and each one turns my stomach because I know that I will never get answers.
You were a beautiful human, you gave more of yourself than you received in return. I wish you saw how much was ahead of you, how much people loved you, how much you inspired people, and how much this world needed a human like you, here.
WHOEVER is reading this, YOU MATTER. Point Blank. You are Essential to this life. You make someone smile, you are loved by someone and it could even be a complete stranger. No matter what, you are important. All dark days see light again, we all struggle, we all lose hope, but we MUST remember that it all is temporary and we must NEVER give up on this life. It it's SO beautiful even on the worst days. Without you, something will be missing in existence and it cannot be replaced.
Be kind, smile, make time, always listen, ask questions and let people know they matter.
Lacie Morgan, myself and SO many people wish that you hadn't decided to leave. It may be only four months since the day you left but the hole in my heart makes it feel like forever.
#lovinyou #memories #twloha #suicideprevention