At first glance when looking at the picture on the left you would think she was happy and you would think she was content with the way things were ... well let me tell you something ... I remember this day like it was yesterday and I can tell you I definitely wasn't to impressed!! So to start this story off my mom wanted all of us to go for family pictures and I remember getting ready and coming out of the room wearing something I was comfortable in, when she turned to see what I was wearing she looked at me and said "can you put something a little more girly on?" So I went back to my room trying to find something she would approve of. I always wanted to make my parents happy even if it made me uncomfortable, that's just the person I am.
Anyways, eventually my sister let be borrow a top from her and I got my moms approval on the shirt ... but then she said "let me do your hair and makeup to" I did not like this at all ... I remember wanting nothing to do with it but of course I let her do it anyways... I just remember being so uncomfortable and hating ever moment of it but I wasn't about to tell my mom because I remember the smile on her face after everything was done and by just seeing the smile on her face made it worth it.
To this day I do not regret my past, I do not hate the person I was, I don't hold anything against my family for wanting me to dress a certain way, or act a certain way ... how were they suppose to know I was uncomfortable if I didn't express it enough. Growing up as a "girl" wasn't exactly easy and I knew for a long time that the label "female" didn't suite me but I didn't know anything else existed so yes I tried to embrace it and I tried to make it work ... but it wasn't me and never will be.
Moral of my story is that just because someone may look happy, may look a certain way or act a certain way don't always believe what you see because sometimes there's more beneath the surface.
I have never posted anything like this before but I am now because I hid who I was for so long but I'm not any more! This was never who I was only who I was portraying to be ... a life that I was given but not meant to be.
I am Rylee and I am ME 💙