Star Wars: Updated
First off, I honestly don’t know when I’m gonna see The Last Jedi.
It’s either gonna be Sunday, Tuesday, or next weekend.
Anyways, I’m still pissed I haven’t seen it yet, but I’m not missing out on seeing it.
But fuck that, let’s do a recap on the entire saga up this point.
Also, these are last-minute, lazy ass reviews, so be warned.
The Phantom Menace
The worst of the franchise, easily.
Besides the pod race sequence, Liam Neeson, and Darth Maul, I cant stand it.
But I watched it a lot as a kid so I had some nostalgia for me.
Jar Jar can go fuck himself.
Boring ass film, to say the least.
Attack of the Clones
Certainly not as horrible as people say, but it does have its moments.
Kind of enjoyable honestly and there’s a lot that isn’t half bad.
Hayden Christensen needs to learn how to act well.
The Dooku/Yoda battle is fun to watch.
Revenge of the Sith
The cinematography is gorgeous, the effects are miles better, and Hayden Christensen is golden here.
The 3rd act is insanely good, especially the climatic lightsaber battle.
Order 66 still makes me want to ball up and cry.
You were the chosen one!
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
Disappointing, nothing else.
The cinematography and effects are great, but it’s very shallow.
I only gave a shit about 2 characters, and that’s not good.
The 3rd act and final 5 minutes redeems itself completely.
Donnie Yen is a badass.
A New Hope
The most iconic film ever created.
This started it all, and it’s my favorite of the whole saga.
It’s all sooooo good and I can’t get enough of it.
Only a master of evil.
The Empire Strikes Back
Darker and extremely emotional for the hardcore fans out there.
The ending leaves you wanting so much more.
That iconic twist/line is engraved into the back of my head.
James Earl Jones is fucking legendary!
A+ (10/10) (Continued in Comments)