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This is basically the look on Grant’s face when he put on his Halloween costume for the first time. 😍(See my stories for the reaction!) Am I crazy for wanting to dress up the kids in SEVERAL costumes? Tell me no because in addition to being Mickey and Minnie Mouse, I reallllllly want them to be Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr! So cute right? And what about our family costumes? Gabe and I already have #gameofthrones Khalessi and Drogo outfits...shouldn’t I make the kids be dragons so I can really be the #motherofdragons? 🐉 Too much? I can’t decide. 🤦🏼‍♀️ What are your kids dressing up as this year? 🎃 #halloween #costume #ivegotissuesiknow

| e n e r g y |
Ok, so I've really been struggling these past few weeks with the lack of connection I have with this baby. I've been completely avoiding my emotions & my feelings & have continued to disconnect as a means of self preservation. To the point where literally until yesterday (after a good bloody chat [read - word vomit] with a dear old friend) I just felt numb. I felt worried that I didn't want this & that I couldn't do it. That I wasn't capable of giving this baby love. I was scared. I remember one of the first things I said when Link died was "that's it. I won't be able to do this again. I'll never be able to love another baby. I love him. I only want him". It's funny because everyone assumes I feel guilty for feeling like Link is being replaced, but that's not it at all. I have felt so guilty for having nothing left to give. That this poor babe has an emotionally void mother!! He's doomed & I'm a failure. But when I sat with these feelings and truly allowed myself to feel them (SO uncomfortable 😣), I realised that this was the same Ol' lesson that has followed me around my whole life. That lesson of trust, surrender, letting go, giving up my control and believing that I am enough. It presented itself in such a different way when I was pregnant with Link. "I'm not doing enough exercise, I'm not relaxed enough, I don't feel good enough, I'm not healthy enough (I could not have been healthier if I tried - seriously!)" This time, same lesson, just packaged differently... it's looked more like "I don't love this baby enough, I'm not excited enough, I'm not focussed on the baby or pregnancy enough, I'm not doing enough"... Translation - on an unconscious level I don't think I am enough and it scares the fucking shit outta me. But of course, I know that's bullshit and all it's done is remind me of how fucking hard I am on myself ALL the god damn time. I knew I needed help to rid my head (but mainly my heart) of all of this shame, guilt & fear so had some reiki today and feel 💯x better. The energy between the baby & I was so powerful & for the first time this pregnancy he went absolutely NUTS. It's the BEST feeling EVER & I feel so much better for it 💫

Celebrating hitting 34 weeks and the start of maternity leave with reduced movements 🤦🏼‍♀️ Back to hospital tomorrow for a Doppler scan & the doctors are hoping to move our growth scan forward to Monday too. Feeling a little anxious but hearing your heartbeat is just everything 💗 keep growing strong baby girl. We can't wait to meet you but please stay put a little bit longer if you can 👶🏼🤰🏼#pregnancy #pregnancyafterloss #rainbowbaby #babygirl #34weekspregnant #thirdtrimester #dueinnovember

#32weekspregnant 8 weeks or less left. We have everything we need and It's time to start getting shit prepared but I'm tired and uncomfortable 24/7. When does nesting kick in? #pregnancyafterloss #pregnancyafterinfertility #femarababy #babybump

What's up 3rd trimester?! Can't believe I'll be a mom to two babes in just a few short months. I was planning on waiting to set up the nursery until the baby was born but my type A personality got the best of me and I just binged ordered a bunch of crap from Amazon! 🙈 I'm also getting super curious about what this little nugget might be. Any predictions?! 💙💕 #boyorgirl

I feel like I’m getting bigger by the minute. What blows my mind is that I haven’t gained a single ounce... I’m actually DOWN 14.5 pounds. Keep growing little man! 💙 #18w2d

Ashley @ashleyfgilbreath shares the story of the loss of her twins, followed by a miscarriage, and then the birth of her rainbow babies. Her daughter Cates was born early and spent 33 days in the NICU; and, her son Rett and daughter Liza were both born full-term by scheduled cesarean. She shares how her faith affected the way she processed her losses, and how it all impacted her subsequent pregnancies and births. Click the profile link or search The Birth Hour in iTunes or your favorite podcast app to listen. 🎧

A few things: • We are awkward. Okay, mainly me. • I let the ultrasound tech tell me the gender instead of having her write it in a card so we could both be surprised. Oops, muh bad.🙈 • @samantharauscher 's commentary on this video is 💯 and I can't believe Arlo gets to experience the amazing mess that is having a sister. • Arlo does not want a brother OR a sister, she wants to be an only child so.. this should be fun.
And finally.. after two miscarriages and so many tears in the past year, I still can't believe we are here. And I'm so freaking glad. #thatslikeactualpink

MOST RECENT

So in love 😍😍

Are you postponing your happiness for the moment you get your #BFP ??
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Or until #Baby makes his/her grand entrance?
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Check out this short video from @mindvalley to learn why it's so important to #celebratethenow using #dansullivan 's idea of the gap.
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Www.mindvalleyinsights.com/how-to-avoid-the-gap/
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Don't make your happiness a 🥕 that you can never reach! .
#postponing #stress #sadness #happiness #gratitude #dontwait #celebrate #past #present #future #mindset #dontwait #presentmoment #familyplanning #ttc #fertilityjourney #empoweredbirth #optimizeyourbody #babyshealth #pregnancyafterloss #secondaryinfertility

I feel like I’m getting bigger by the minute. What blows my mind is that I haven’t gained a single ounce... I’m actually DOWN 14.5 pounds. Keep growing little man! 💙 #18w2d

I don't share faced images typically but with this shoot I will make an exception. Thank you @ericaverbeck for tagging along with me to the #rainbowbaby photoshoot for @breastfeeding_world AND for taking some behind the scenes shots while the photographer worked their magic. I felt like a queen today. I cannot wait to see to group shot and my mini sesh photos. AAAAAH. 🌈💙🌈 #babyelliott #pregnancyafterloss

Today is #diwali. Diwali celebrates the victory of light over darkness, good over evil, hope over despair and knowledge over ignorance. While I am not religious, I do choose to celebrate this holiday as it represents a day of hope. A day of abundance. In a world filled with so much darkness, this day to me is a representation that the light does come. So today, I light diyas (oil lamp) not just for me, but for all the women and families needing a sign of hope. And of love. The light will lead us out of darkness and lead us home. #light #knowledge #good #pregnancylosshealing #lightoverdarkness #hope #goodoverevil #home #abundance #love #lakshmi #pregnancyloss #infantloss #stillbirth #miscarriage #tryingtoconceiveafterloss #pregnancyafterloss #mentalhealth #anxiety #SIDS #grief #parentingafterloss #coach #onlinecoach #celebrate #support #community

I have come to realize that Facebook memories can be difficult after the loss of a loved one. A year ago we found out that we were expecting little girl. We were so excited. We gave her her name and Aaron wrote her a note telling her how much we loved her and that we couldn’t wait to meet her. .
This time around we don’t have the luxury of naivety. We know that not every pregnancy ends in a live baby to bring home and love and raise. It has made us somewhat reticent with this pregnancy. But we’re doing our best to focus on the positive and remain hopeful. .
We’ve known for awhile, it’s not exactly a secret, but we figured now is as good a time as any to officially announce that we’re expecting a little boy 💙

Check on my story. Link in bio! It seems so fast and there is so much more that I would like to share.
I was nominated to share my story of Struggle and how I overcame it. Of course my fertility journey with recurrent pregnancy loss was something I am called to chat about. I really like the #RUOK and I am so thankful for the times someone has asked me R U OK? -ask - listen - encourage action - check in
#mentalhealth #supportingeachother #holdingspace #fertilityjourney #ttc #ttcaftermiscarriage #ttcaftermultiplemiscarriages #unexplainedinfertility #clomid #pregnancyafterloss #pregnancyafterinfertility #1in4

This is basically the look on Grant’s face when he put on his Halloween costume for the first time. 😍(See my stories for the reaction!) Am I crazy for wanting to dress up the kids in SEVERAL costumes? Tell me no because in addition to being Mickey and Minnie Mouse, I reallllllly want them to be Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr! So cute right? And what about our family costumes? Gabe and I already have #gameofthrones Khalessi and Drogo outfits...shouldn’t I make the kids be dragons so I can really be the #motherofdragons? 🐉 Too much? I can’t decide. 🤦🏼‍♀️ What are your kids dressing up as this year? 🎃 #halloween #costume #ivegotissuesiknow

We are very excited and happy to announce that over 5 years of trying and losing baby after baby we are expecting our Rainbow🌈 It has been a rough road but we are more then 1/2 over. All I needed was the TAC and who knew we'd get this far with minimal complications. Of course we're high risk but we'll be meeting her in less then 3 months! #PregnancyAfterLoss #RainbowBaby
#Viability #TAC #TACPregnancy #IncompetentCervix #IncompententCervixPregnancy

For 816 days we prayed for you. We went through all the ups and downs of infertility during that time. The joy, the sorrow, the disappointment and all that comes in between. So now we keep praying, for your health and your future.
We now have the joy of expecting again, baby Kri coming May 2018.
1 Samuel 1:27
#morningsickness #hyperemesisgravidarum #pregnancyafterloss #pregnancyafterinfertility #faithhopelove #praiseGod #1samuel127

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