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I looked forward to maternity leave, thinking I'd be able to pop out for coffee, buy the last baby treats, go for walks, go swimming when I wanted, but it hasn't turned out like that. I'm in agony and bed bound for now - or as much as I can cope with being bed bound! Everything is a struggle, everything is painful! Pregnancy just doesn't suit some women, and I am one of them! Thank god I won't be going to 40 weeks! Im so ready for you now, littl'un πŸ’™πŸŒˆπŸ‘ΆπŸΌ #rainbowbaby #pregnancy #pregnant #pregnancyafterloss #healthypregnancy #pregnancyjourney #neonatalloss #preemie #weightlossjourney #weightloss #myfitnesspal #mfp #caloriecounting #32weeks #32weekspregnant

My Gigi girl is 11 months old! Half of me can hardly believe it, the other half wonders if she was ever even a baby!? A year certainly does go by fast (especially with two babies) but Gianna learned to do everything so quickly (thanks to big bro and just being a girl!) that it's hard to remember when she wasn't this independent lil firecracker! But goodness, she's such a cutie and so very funny! As sad as I am for her to turn ONE next month, I am actually so stinkin' happy about it. I mean, it wasn't so long ago that I was told she couldn't possibly exist. No chance for me to get pregnant. I'd never create a healthy embryo. And yet here she is, laughing and walking and growing and thriving...my little doll. So bring on allllllllll the 🌈's because my Rainbow Baby deserves the biggest, bestest and most dessert filled celebration there ever was! (Oh and if ya know any fabulous shops where I can get rainbow goodies, please tag em below!!) 11monthsold #almostone

Visiting his big brothers before he comes into this world βš“οΈπŸΉπŸ•°β€οΈπŸŒˆ #pregnancyafterloss #pregnancyloss #lifeafterloss #hope #strength #rainbowbaby #miscarriage #momtographerdiaries #love #faith #37weekspregnant #isaacfheralvarado

Had our sweet baby πŸ‘ΆπŸΌ girl yesterday at 13:33 pm worth the wait and every lovenox and heparin shot.
It's been a long journey with losing our son at 40 Weeks in 2013, miscarrying in 2014, and infertility for almost 2 years.
Yesterday was the happiest day of life! #lovejoysurrender2017 #fitpregnancy #pcospregnancy #gestationaldiabetes #lovenoxbaby #pregnancyafterloss #pals #camdensjem

Yesterday we got a call our big appointment (scan and gender reveal) was moved from today to later yesterday. Chris was in Las Vegas for work and we made the decision to go ahead without him. It was a tough decision because our last 18 week scan was when we learned James was gone and that happened to be the only appointment Chris couldn't make. He since vowed he never would miss an appointment and sure enough he's been there for every weekly second pregnancy and third pregnancy appointments. Until yesterday.
It was a really hard mental game for me. I kept thinking I wouldn't see a moving baby and I would be delivering another quiet baby. Well, I was wrong and what I saw was a very cute moving baby, that wouldn't stop moving it's mouth like it was singing. We even got a solid fist pump. I'm happy to report baby is good. We will have 3 more ultrasounds in August and I will move to weekly shots of progesterone.
So with all that said, we will know the sex of our little adorable black and white blob this weekend and can't wait to share!
Also, a quick shout out to my friend Kristi that came to my appointment for support and to put Chris's mind at ease. (She also holds the envelope and secret of our baby's sex. Muhahaha!) I hate that you get what it's like to have a pregnancies after losses but so thankful I can share my irrational and neurotic fears with you.
We appreciate everyone and their support. Sharing this journey hasn't been easy but it's helping the 1 in 4. Pregnancy after loss is not an easy one.
Plus, omg...look at how cute that profile is! πŸ’œπŸ™ŠπŸ’™ #genderreveal #pregnancyafterloss #babynumber3 #rainbowbaby

Benjamin Luke joined us at 3:29 am today in the same hospital where #maggieandabby were born. He is big and healthy and strong. I cannot stop staring at him and thinking: you are here, you are real, you get to come home with us.
This hospital was already holy ground for us in the hardest of times, but he brought a brand-new miracle. And the joy on his big brothers' faces when they got to hold him made my heart complete.
Thank you for all of your prayers and love and support that helped bring him to our arms! πŸ’›
#pregnancyafterloss #miraclebaby

"Both my little babies." πŸ’œπŸŒˆ // πŸ“· by @jenneysblog

My beautiful and perfect son & my beautiful and perfect daughter. They look so much alike and I love that so much. Oh, how I wish I could have my Solomon here, but I understand this is how it has to be. I've accepted your loss, but I still grieve for you. My rainbow is here with me, but I still miss my precious baby. Mommy loves you Solomon and I dream often of the day I get to embrace you again. πŸ’™ #pregnancyafterloss #parentingafterloss #rainbowbaby #imissyousomuch #designingmamastillbirth #mamaoftwo

I'm pregnant again. It's a baby girl and her name is Ramona.
We are excited and happy, and nervous.
It gives me some anxiety to share this, but also to keep it to myself, mainly because I'm not ready to be bombarded. We want to share this information so that you can celebrate with us, and also so I can warn you. We are so happy and grateful for this baby, but she isn't a do-over, Ansel is deeply ingrained in our hearts and always in our minds, and we both knew that we shouldn't waste time in having another baby and Ansel would have always had siblings, and now he has a sister. She is healthy and this information has brought great relief to us. With that said, even if they'd told us she had a CHD or some other challenge we still would have been just as happy. Learning that Ansel had HLHS was scary, and as we talked to the doctors and learned what could be done for him the situation didn't become less intimidating or overwhelming, but we were wrapping our heads around it. So when they told us that his heart condition had worsened and there was little to no chance that he would survive intervention, I wished with all my heart that we still had all the intimidating and overwhelming options, I would have taken it all if it mean he could live, but that wasn't an option anymore.
So, even now if they told us Ramona has some challenge to overcome I know that we could take it in stride.
I also want to share that while this has been an exciting and happy time it's also been triggering for a lot of hard memories and feelings about Ansel. They're complicated, but they don't take away from our love and gratitude for this sweet baby girl. Maybe because the pregnancies have been so close together it's been more difficult to separate in my mind, maybe it would have been this way even if we'd waited, and maybe being pregnant will always make me miss Ansel, but I'm ok with that.
We're so happy and grateful and we wanted to share that, but please don't assume that all is well and our Ansel sorrow has been replaced with Ramona happiness, our sorrow is still there, but just that much more happiness has been added to it. So please be gentle.


Food spoils. Babies don't.
Hold him. Wear him.
Breathe him in. Keep him close.
It goes too fastπŸ’šπŸ’›πŸ’œπŸ’™ These last 10 months have gone by so fast and taught me so much.
I've always loved all of my children. Pregnancies were pretty normal. Getting pregnant wasn't too hard. I was blessed but didn't truly see it. I got too comfortable with life in general. Comfortable as a mom that knew God but didn't live for him and didn't realize I cussed way too often around my kids. I could make a Sailor blush. I was definitely not the mom my kids deserved.
I got saved when I was 6 months pregnant with Colin (2013)....truly saved. Not someone that lived in sin and claimed Christianity. My kids deserved that. However, in 2015, I got comfortable again. I questioned why I didn't feel God like some others who shared stories. Big mistake or biggest blessing? Maybe both! 2015 became the hardest of my life. I lost a baby in May, my 2 year old had to be airlifted to UNC due to a rare condition in June, and we lost another baby in August. I was at my lowest. However, at the altar on Aug 19, I was delivered and felt God like never before.
Fast forward to now. I was blessed with my Rainbow Baby and will never look back. God is faithful. I now live for him first and my kids have the mom they deserve and always will! I cherish every single day. Kids are blessings and it's up to us moms to raise them and teach them, not someone else. They were given to youπŸ’š

#momswithcameras #clickinmoms #momtogs #cameramama #momlife #motherhoodtgroughinstagram #momsofinstagram #momblogger #babiesofinstagram #kidsofinstagram #toddlersofinstagram #brandrep #mamarazzi #mommyblogger #igkids #photography #photographer #childphotography #family #letthembelittle #raisingmytribe #igbabies #brandenthusiast #ncphotographer #lifestyleblogger #instakids #familyblogger #breastfeedingmama #babywearingmama #trustgod

πŸŒˆβ€οΈπŸ˜πŸ’•. I'm going to planned parenthood today for an ultrasound, I'll keep you guys updated. I'll be 7 weeks tomorrow ❀️. #pregnant #dueinmarch #6weekspregnant #morningsickness #rainbowbaby #pregnancyafterloss #pregnantlife #pregnantmama #lifeafterloss #teenmomtobe #teenmom

#LeoForTommys #TeamTommys
These are the names of 46 babies either gone too soon or born after a loss - The Wife is riding a mile on Sunday's #RideLondon for each. She will wear their names on the back of her @tommys_thebabycharity cycling top, so they can ride in the wind around London!
Leo's Pops would love to also dedicate miles to your children, so please consider donating any amount to our fundraising and dedicate a mile to your missed baby or perhaps, to celebrate a rainbow.
Please share to help spread the word - we have until tomorrow evening so we can add their names.
Thank you to everyone who has donated and / or dedicated.
🌟🌟🌟We are so close to £3000! 🌟🌟🌟
#ridelondon #london #ukcycling #dedicateamile #babyloss #miscarriage #stillbirth #weareallmums #whathealsyou #fundraiser #pregnancyafterloss #rainbowbaby #pal #parentingafterloss

{Nursery} This baby boy's room is almost complete. Here's a sneak peak to some of my favorite details. I've enjoyed decorating my entire home, but this room was by far the most special. I actually planned my "subtle" rainbow theme when pregnant with Gabriel; this little room has been a project in progress for a while now and I'm so glad my theme fits for both of my baby boys. πŸ’™πŸŒˆ #nurserydecor #rainbowtheme #subtle #babylibrary #crib #cribsafety #iwillremovethegarland #promise #illloveyouforever #mybabyyoullbe #babyboy #rainbowbaby #pregnancyafterloss #pal

Today I made the bold move to not make coffee and to use my focused energy instead in my cafe latte shakeology. Usually by this time in the day once Nolan goes down I'm ready to collapse. Not today! I'm still going strong! Guess this stuff actually does its job!

Just an update for any of you who saw my complete 2am meltdown last night. Everything is totally fine. THANK GOD. Instead of leaving a message saying "We want to give you the information for your NT scan please call us back." They decided to leave the most cryptic message on earth, convincing me that there was bad news they wanted to make sure they spoke to me about. I let my anxiety get the best of me last night for sure. Now that my mind is at ease, I'm off to take a nap since I slept all of about 45 minutes last night. 😩 #pregnant #pregnancyafterloss #9weekspregnant #9w4d #relieved #thankgod

Two of about four things I have allowed myself to buy for Baby. #pregnancyafterloss is so hard.

16 weeks!! Time is going by so slowly lol. Feeling fine. Headaches have sort of calmed down but the pregnancy dreams are still so crazy. #16weekspregnant #pregnant #pregnancy #babyontheway #rainbowbaby #pregnancyafterloss #january2018

The path to pregnancy is not always easy. In fact, I believe more people struggle than most are aware of. .

As I feel life growing inside of me, I'm gently reminded of my own struggles. This is my sixth time being pregnant (with only one living child). I've been through the roller coaster of highs and lows. But in the mist of it all, I was persistent to try again. My desire to have a family was stronger than the pain trying to hold me back. .

I want women out there to know that you are not alone! If you've faced loss or are struggling to conceive, there is this magnificently special community I'm apart of that "get" you. You do not have to isolate yourself or feel sad that others don't understand. We do ... my tribe does. .

Honestly, I'm amazed at the strength of these ladies. I read their stories and am so inspired by their courage to go on. If you're in need (or know someone that is) please reach out. Join us. πŸ’›
#mommying #pregnancyafterloss #pregnancy #miscarriage #miscarriageawareness #ectopicpregnancy #pregnancyloss #pregnancyblogger #pregnancylossawareness #stillbirth #ttc #ttccommunity #ttcaftermiscarriage #infertility #WomenEmpoweringWomen

I'm finally going to finish this book that I started 6 months ago.
Also, "Hi Baby"! Look at that little clementine in my tummy! 😍 (Okay, okay, some of its just my tummy too..I ate like 4 pancakes an hour ago. πŸ˜‚Yummmmmm.) Loving this body and baby. πŸ’—
#eatthepancakes #withlotsofbutter #andlocalsyrup #growingahuman #pregnancyafterloss #miraclebaby #wildmama

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