Rehabilitating a traumatized horse isn't easy. I feel like sometimes my words and work here may glorify the process in a way I don't intend for it to do. It is not something that happens overnight, or even in a few months, and even years later you will still bear the responsibility of holding space for an animal who has been through more than you know. It's not like you just have to befriend this horse and then you get to ride off into the sunset- hell you may never be able to ride that horse, and that is a risk you take when you choose to oversee the healing of a soul. I can say with total conviction that Misa is my friend. I can say that she trusts me as much as she can. I can say that I have her full respect, that even if I "cowboyed up" on her that we wouldn't accomplish anything more than we already have - in fact quite the opposite, we wouldn't have come as far as we have if I did that. But the fact is that she has experienced trauma from a young age that will forever affect the way her mind works and her reactions. Some days she just can't overcome the negative patterns embedded in her neural circuitry, while others we could conquer the world. And that is something I won't hold against her, because I understand what that is like. I understand that isn't something you can train out of an animal. With consistent science based training, I can join her in healing and rewiring, but it's not like I can sprinkle pixie dust and *poof* our magical bond has saved the day! It is hard work, exhausting sometimes, and demanding of my full attention, always.
But to me, it's worth it. I have the resources and the ability to give this horse what she needs and deserves, and so I do. And when I look back at what it was like in the beginning, I realize just how far we've come - how much she has overcome, and how proud I am of both of us for doing it together. That's something no amount of ribbons, no amount of money, and no amount of progressing through some arbitrary levels of progress, could ever beat. From the moment I saw that first clip, I knew she was exactly what I wanted. I could see something through the fear, that deserved a chance.