Being a person with chronic pain generally leaves me feeling very limited in life. Because as much as I can pursue things, just because I can do something almost always ends up being something I shouldn’t, something I want to do usually becomes the thing I fear. Pain is powerful that way. I’ve learned to want things but to put an asterisk next to that desire so that if/when the pain is too much I can walk away without having invested too much of myself. For months the yogis I hang with have been encouraging me to try acroyoga and I didn’t even want to put an asterisk on it. Acroyoga is so beautiful and as hard as I fought everyone and made it clear that I’d try it when I was ready, I never had the intention of trying it at all. To try something so beautiful and to have to put an asterisk next to it and limit myself was never something I wanted to have to do. Sunday afternoon I did acro and was convinced it was a fluke. So Tuesday evening I met up with Ashley and did more acroyoga, expecting to be unable, expecting the asterisk to fall out of my pocket, and expecting to lose this beautiful thing. The asterisk did not fall. I tried poses I was positive we’d walk away from, and though my stabilizing needs much improvement, I did acroyoga. It isn’t a fluke. I did something beautiful, and the asterisk isn’t in my pocket, my glovebox, or even in my purse. In 2016 I was bed bound from pain, in 2017 I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, and in 2018 I did Acroyoga. Anything is possible. Give the asterisk some time off and give yourself the opportunity to be more than you thought you could be.
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