There's this guy;with hazel dark eyes. Somedays they become darker than usual,so dark that my soul trembles. Is that what loving feels like?
Papa,I fledged from home last evening after you took your medicine with luke warm water and slept.
I was wearing those ripped shorts and that black crop top you finally bought me after an hour of nagging. I wish I wasn't.
He had this sports car I had always fascinated about. I wish I didnt .
He kissed me papa,he kissed me by that wall,the tender me being trapped between his hands,he kissed me hard and I gave in,until our tounges rolled over and he brutally bite my lip. I was crying and bleeding but oh he was kissing me,gripping my hair so tight between his fingers,Papa,I thought loving was supposed to be an escape but oh I felt trapped and it did not honestly feel like love at all . It was so dark,so dark that my soul was hurting,his lips are still marked on my collarbone and at the spaces between my thighs.
Papa,there's this guy,this guy with weird tattoos and piercings that you think are wild.
Papa,he took my virginity last night,I bled on the backseat of his car.
My vagina doesn't feel like mine anymore,he thrusted his claws inside my skin which you had never let get scarred by even a scratch of nail ever.
It was no fairytale papa,he fucked me last night,there never was any love.
He treated me like a whore, is that what you will think of me too ?
I am sorry papa,I loved a guy, I felt like a slut,the night I would hide my cellphone under the blanket to talk to him all night,for all those hours i spent learning to put that one winged eyeliner straight and I would comb my hair to set them free the way he liked and oh I would put on that red lipstic I hated and that dress which felt too naked but i just loved him papa and maybe it wasn't love at all,maybe those words and promises and calls meant nothing but i swear i loved this guy papa and he became the end of me.
And now,now I fear men,i am afraid of those eyes lingering on my body as if they can see me naked, kissing him on that lover's point ..I loved him papa and i have never felt more terrible and pathetic about myself before, never.