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(Part 4/4)
That night we parted with a million words left unsaid,tears unshed,stories not spoken,silences not shared and a million stars yet left unscarred.
That was the last kiss,the last day I lived with my past,the last night I slept on that rooftop under the shed of same stars with him.
"We'll always live in rooftops and night skies and falling stars,no matter where we are,forever will always be ours" -were the last words I heard his lips murmur until I saw his eyes flutter to sleep, and I knew it was the time to leave.
"Here's to the most beautiful forever"I said kissing his forehead...probably for the last time?
I stood up,forcing my knees to carry my weight far far away to a neverland.
A neverland with no death or maybe just a neverland where I could no more die.
I felt too frozen to put a step forward,for a world without him felt like a journey to death,but that was what I always wanted,but I don't know why here in the mouth of death I wanted to turn back to my life.. sleeping peacefully on the rooftop 50 ft above the earth.
"Don't leave" I heard him mumbling in sleep.
But oh I was long gone,way before I left him....and all I knew darling was that there was no going back,I was gone,dead or alive,I was gone.
I left him that night...perhaps just to bump into him again in some other lifetime,but for this life,Oh Holy Hera...I was gone.
//an excerpt from a book I'll never write//

Ps-  Idk where you found yourself in these 4 parts or idk what made you read all the 4,all this might be seeming to you as a puzzle,trust me this would be always incomplete after all this is a glimpse of the novel I'll probably never ever complete in this lifetime or probably I'll never start but I wanted to share these scattered voices to you and Ill never be able to thank you enough for reading my mess,I hope with all my heart to write the whole story someday for you all,someday..maybe❤Thank you for existing,each one of you🌎.

#Ainitsuite no uta #Poetry_Addict
Two hands held tightly
Unconsciously welded together
Two lives now one
I am proud to walk with you
Overjoyed to share this world with you
My delight is abundant
My love sublime.

It's okay to have feelings... #poetry_addict

Pagi yang selalu berbisik manja dengan sebuah nama. Memberi kesejukan pada embun yang tengah lekat pada rindu dedaunan. Tak ada angin pemisah yang bertiup. Langit pun secerah harapan atas sebuah cinta.

Sepucuk bunga yang merekah nan indah, membuai hati yang tengah berdoa. Harapan-harapan lembut lepas damai. Teriringi doa malaikat-malaikat Allah yang tengah berbagi rezeki pagi ini.
Pagi semesta...langit ba'da subuh tadi 😊😊😊 @motretbareng
#sunrise #pagitadi #ramadhanke2 #semestabertasbih #poetrycommunity #poetry_addict #jalanjalanpagi #dolordarjo #sidoarjobanget #sidoarjo #exploresidoarjo #xperia #kamerahpgw_surabaya #urangagung

"Shaam bhi thi dhuan-dhuan,
husn bhi tha udas-udas,
Dil ko kayi kahaniyan yaad si aake reh gayi."
~ Firaq Gorakhpuri

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨Nature’s first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf’s a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay. ~ Robert Frost
✨Featured✨ @storiesgram


Dear stranger,
Maybe you're sitting right across me,maybe you are staring at my eyes or the rugged purple wall behind me.Maybe we daily meet every morning in that coffee house or maybe you sit everyday in the same bus as me.Maybe our paths have crossed or maybe not, maybe you're a known stranger or a forgotten friend.Maybe you have those pair of blue eyes that I see every night in my dreams or maybe you just have a beating heart which matches the rhythm of mine.
I wonder what scars you carry or the demons you are running away from.I wonder if you still miss that lover who broke you,I wonder if you still cry to sleep every night, I wonder about your family,do you feel home, trapped in your room? Did you party last night and got wasted, do your sheets smell of cigarettes?Is it all a blur or are you doing just fine.. I wish I knew, I swear love if I could take away the pang in your chest,I would in a heartbeat.But maybe, just maybe the pain is meant to stay, maybe it has a purpose,maybe the black roses in your lungs will grow red someday and you wouldn't have to bleed blue.
And even though it all feels coming crashing down right now, hold on sweet pea,hold on to every fibre of life you can.I hope you never stop loving,I hope that heart still flutters and you still get those stupid butterflies,I hope you still dream big and still stare at the same red evening skies. Every night we lay under the same stars so even though you might feel lonely but baby love, I promise you won't ever be alone.
I hope we meet on some deserted path of life,I hope we get a new start,so I'll introduce my name and you'll introduce your soul.We'll heal the wounds and talk about life on a silent rooftop at those enchanting 2ams,for I'll make you believe how lovely you are and the love you give comes back to you, step by step, day by day, second by second, breath by breath, I swear it all will get better and I promise I'll be a stranger you'll never regret meeting.
Until the next blue moon and candy sky
With love
Another fucked up human

Sadde hazaar jithe Chalna main Baar
Karan mera Intezaar mere ghar de baar

Jado nikla main baar wekha log hazaar
Ik hath ch #Kataar dujhe hath ch #Cigar

#420 #Karan #poetry_addict

I still love the thought of you...
Those were days when i got all the time in the world... to see you everyday.


It's okay to have feelings... #poetry_addict


stelle cadenti,
treni nelle notti itineranti.
Bersagli di desideri contundenti,
bagagli da riempire in pochi istanti.

Andrea Alba

And now...and now she is hiding away from this paper too.It breaks my heart as I see her flipping the sides of the paper trying to find a perfect corner to bleed in,with trembling hands she holds the pen,scratching it against her own skin,struggling hard to fill alphabets between the marked lines of the paper;to constrain whole of the chaos inside her in that single boundary of a line.She ruffles her fingertips over those perfectly aligned lines and wonders if these lines were some secret map,if they lead somewhere,maybe just to the scars of her wrist.
I see her cut those written words which make no sense to her with so much aggression that she almost tears off the paper like tearing down her own skin and it makes my heart skip a beat as I see her pushing away that diary,pen and inkpot down the table,as if lately her pain feels too heavy to be borne by that lifeless page and so I see her running away from her own escape.I think now she likes pain.
Writing was the only way through which she had been breathing through every chaos without a single scream,for she used to bleed her silences down on the paper but now the paper and pen seem to be known strangers and the smell of her diary strikes her with nostalgia as the words struggle and wiggle to leave her pen and soul but she struggles to breathe as her demons slay her throat to silence.
No loss before has been this painful for she,she had lost everything but the comforting solace of the words always remained with her,for writing was her home and now I see her wandering homeless,not knowing where to go.She has that torn paper of her diary in her fist.She scrolls it open trying to read that map of blurred words and parallel lines.So tonight she keeps walking straight.So tonight she might just love to go nowhere.
.(to be continued)
Part 1/2.

This is for anyone who can't really relate to friendship day's sentiments.
This is for the kids who don't want to go to school because they have no friends.This is for the loners,who have always belonged in corners,for the one who has spent his lunchbreaks eating alone under that shady tree seeing the other kids giggle with happy hearts as they would prank each other.This is to the two silent tears that never left his eyes.
This one is for the kids who grew up building walls too high to never let anyone in again,this is for the teenagers who'll probably fear the word "friend" for the rest of their lives.
This is for the people who have seen forevers fading in just one blink of an eye.This is for the people who have been killed by lovers;forevers and friendships & sadly the trigger was pressed by the person they would have taken a bullet for.
This is for the hurting souls,to the ones who still wake up in the middle of the night from terrible nightmares to find no one there to calm them down.
This is for the people who have lost friends who still make them cry to sleep every single night.
This is for the one who held on to that friendship band too tight that now that wrist carries ugly scars.
I hope you know your feelings matter.I hope we meet as friends someday where we would talk about heartbreaks and I promise there will be no more pain,i hope you meet someone who doesn't judge,someone who would want you in life,someone who would need you in life.
I hope you know you deserve love. I hope you know it's okay to be allergic to humans,i hope you know it's okay to be afraid from heartbreaks,I hope you know it's okay to not have friends,but if you have been feeling that pang in your chest today,come darling I'll tie a knot sewing that broken heart with a friendship band,so you'll hug that old diary and sit on that window with kisses of raindrops,so you'll draw hearts and smilies in the mist of the glass and you'll write about how overrated love and friendship is and while the world would judge you,lemme remind you that its okay to be broken after toxic relationships and it's okay to be tired,from humans or from life.(continued in 1st comment)

Part 2/2
I self harmed when I was 5 and saw you dead;for I shook you and waited for you to wake up ..but you never did. For you told me in your last breathe a goodbye,I shouted on top of my lungs and told you I was never ever letting go and all I got was a hug and kiss until you died in my arms.
So i self harmed di;when I was 5 because I wanted to go with you too. You left me behind all your toys,the trophies you got from school,a broken family and forever of memories.
Every school teacher asked me if I was your sister and told me how you were the most beautiful and innocent soul they ever knew and oh how they were sorry for me.
I hated it. I hated sympathy;I still do. Not much has changed, family is still broken,I'm sorry nothing ever got back to the way it was;I could never fill up that void;no one can.
Mom dad had your albums hidden from me;they told me not to mention about you,you were past they said but I saw their heart melt at the mention of your name and I heard them crying every night too.
I wish you were here for I have been alone since then.I wish you were here,for I have no one to protect me or to team up with me when mom dad scold,I have no one to smile at me and take the crying lil me in loving arms without telling me to get over it and that I am such a cry baby;without judging and just letting me cry and cry and cry and rather whispering in my ear about how brave I am.
There has never been anyone there to share my chocolates with;I never had any best friend after you.
I wonder how different it would have been if you were here,I would have never been depressed for you would have taken it all away with crazy pillow fights,I would have never wanted death for you would have taught me life again,for you would have taught me to smile and love again and now.. now there is darkness and walls and mom dad fighting for divorce in the next room and now I am holding myself together with just the memories of you;because Di,lately breathing has been just too hard and merely existing has been too much for a fragile soul like mine;for lately it all has been crashing down and I wonder how it would have felt to read this out to you,(1st comment)

I lost writing too,I'm sorry;it's been a long while since I have bled art and here my hands are trembling with pain;just pain and it doesn't seem a percent poetic today.
And so here I am seeking an escape and today i find it more convenient to tell this and bleed infront of a hundred strangers because it's been a long time since i found solace in any known.
Mum told me how you were so excited when I was in her tummy,how you jumped around the entire house and even though mum didn't want another girl;oh you were there with heart on sleeves;welcoming a lil baby sister in your life. Was I even worth it ?
And they tell me about the time you decorated the house with balloons and banners and ran to the door even before they rang the bell and took me in your arms and you smiled and cried and kissed me on the forehead as if I was the most precious thing you ever held.You bought me that pink Cinderella frock on my first birthday and you ate the biggest piece of cake even though you weren't allowed to and you danced till every fragement of oxygen jumped to escape from your lungs,for you were happy to have me in your arms and home and life,was I even worth it?
I was 3 when you were diagnosed with that deadly kidney failure,you were 8.
So I came home running from my kindergarten to find you on that hospital bed with beeping machines around you and you;the lil you too numb to even move,you tried smiling at me and I saw you flinching as you curved your lips. I didn't know how to feel then so I just did what I was best at,I screamed and started crying,until mom left your side and lifted me up to hug me.There was a hollowness in your eyes,body numbed by pain but oh you were still smiling at me.
You always complaint that mom dad loved me more,like I stole them away from you but not once did your eyes ever met mine with hate;they always had love,more love than I ever deserved & so you shared your favourite barbies & teddies and oh life and home and mom dad too with me...was I even worth it ?
And there was a time when that bad boy who bullied you kicked you hard in your stomach,right beside your kidney & I,I was too numbed to react & so I hid behind my teddy bear (1st comment)

Poet to Bigot

Part 2/2.
Will you still let your slutty daughter in and make that tea with extra ginger for me ? And put on that calming music of 90's that we both love and fight over the tv's remote;would you kiss me again and hug me and bring me home,would you heal those wounds,the ones that aren't even visible,would you let me use your arm as a pillow again and take me to those temples and then to those movies and parties too ?It's hard to breath papa,would you massage that balm on my forehead again?
I lost my virginity last night papa,he called me a slut and a part of me still wants to think I loved him.
Does thar make me less loveable papa?
I am a slut papa,atleast i feel like one &i don't know how to look into your eyes ever again.
But give me that white shirt of yours,the one i love wearing to bed with those baggy cartoon shorts,make my bed with pink blanket & big teddy bear,sing me to sleep and tell me that I'll wake up to the next morning even though i don't want to.Save me and heal me and strengthen my faith in humanity again but papa don't ever lock me up or scream or shout,Please remember that I am still that lil girl fighting for those unhealthy extra chocolates with you even thou i had known they harm.
Papa,guide me home & this time never let go for I want to believe in love again.
Papa but there will always be this one guy whose name would still tremble up every goosebump,whose shadow would even make me fear the colour of sky,whose presence would make me forget how to breath,who would make me stumble and tear and break and die again.
Papa,hold me please,hold me for the world suddenly feels too big and his eyes feel like the end of me;so hold me;hold me and never let go. For those eyes scare me dad and they still call me that slut,for the smoke of that ciggeratte and smell of that liquor is still caged inside my lungs rather than a fistful of pure oxygen and it has been so toxic lately.
Hold me papa; don't tell ma,hold me and hide me in,hold me papa and please don't get scared after finding me bleeding on that bathroom floor next morning,please don't flinch after seeing my damage,hold me papa because the pain is wiggling hard to set me free(1st comment)

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