Today I got fat shamed and it absolutely devastated me.
I've spent all day crying, most of the day in bed. I've starved myself.
For me what that person said affirmed everything I hate about myself, everything that I know is wrong with my body.
I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia 2 years ago, previously to that diagnosis I had glandular fever which has left me with chronic fatigue.
Every day I wake up and I'm in agony, it has taken over my life and prevented me exercising. I've lost my strength, and yes I admit I turned to eating for comfort.
I've spent days in bed, riddled with pain, I go to sleep most nights at 7pm because I'm so exhausted. My friends have had to help me with taking my children to school because I haven't been able to walk.
I have started taking CBD oil and this has given me back so much, the pain is still there but I find it manageable. My head is clearer, my anxiety has improved and I have less episodes of depression.
I have gradually become more mobile. I have started pole fitness to help with my strength, I'm trying to exercise at home, I'm lifting weights to help increase my strength so it's not such a shock to my poor little arms when I throw myself around that pole.
I know I'm fat, I know I'm not perfect. I don't need people to point it out and plunge me into depression. To trigger off an eating disorder I'd been trying to keep on top of (binge, purge)
This is me.
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