#pleasebemyfriend

MOST RECENT

I'm sleepy and my cat thinks there's demons in my room
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#tired #tiredandgay #ftm #transboy #lonely #pleasebemyfriend

Momma cow is at least hanging around. Still ignoring fences but she seems to like the two youngsters we brought her. #tamingthewild #pleasebemyfriend #pleasestay

Smiles all round 🔆

Oh hey there 👋🏼 I’m Jess. There are a helluva lot more peeps in this space nowadays so I thought I’d share a bit about myself. Full disclosure: I’m pretty boring so these are the best I could come up with. Also I think I use self deprecation as a defence mechanism. Oooohh, bonus fact!

✖️I believe that most food is just a vessel for moving various dips into my mouth, and my favourite food is probably “sauce”. Especially mayo. But also hot sauce. Jalapeño ranch. BBQ. Guac. Sweet Chili. Plum. You name it!
✖️After waitressing for 13 years I eat most of my meals standing up. Worst.
✖️Because of a bizarre language requirement I needed in order to graduate Uni I can translate the Bible from the original Hebrew into English. Applicable life skill, right?
✖️My anxiety-reducing tools of choice (what I call my “free therapy”) are cardio and baking. When shit hits the fan my kitchen smells amazing.
✖️I used to hate karaoke before I tried it. Then I won a karaoke competition in Turkey singing Sinead O'Connor (weird right? It’s awkward and it’s on YouTube) and later met my husband during karaoke night at the bar where I worked. When Hen is older we’re gonna have all of her birthday parties at karaoke bars and embarrass the shit out of her.
✖️I love to watch British crime dramas and not really much else 🇬🇧
✖️When I was 12 I founded, printed, and distributed my own family newspaper. I guess even before social media existed I already felt the need to overshare 😂
✖️My singular life goal is to upsize our condo to a townhouse and fill it to the brim with babies and plants while penning a novel of heretofore unforeseen hilarity.
✖️I believe in being honest even when it feels awkward or difficult; unfortunately I think this must have led to a lot of hurt feelings in my earlier years before I realized (at like 29) that there are good and bad ways to deploy your truth 😬 #PleaseBeMyFriend

Thanks for following me even though I’m a boring mom who posts photos of her gorgeous children and then complains that they’re assholes. Stick around, say hey, and tell me something just as boring about yourself so we can be friends! 💁🏼‍

What level of acceptable does throwing oneself on the train floor to play with this puffball with satellite-dish ears rank at? Just asking for a friend. #yyctransit #corgi #pupper #pleasebemyfriend #omg #sofluffy

This edit is hella trash and deserves to be disposed but SuzaLulu isnt trash 🤪🤪🤙🏻🤙🏻

Dt: My Suzaku @ozaki_toshio 💜

Hobbies include finding secluded spots on campus to take Insta pics so I don't look like a conceited asshole. Well jokes on you, I am a conceited asshole. #jk #imnice #pleasebemyfriend

"If I act like a cat they will accept me" #barndog #pleasebemyfriend #barncats #rufflife

One of these two wants to be friends... One does not.
What's wrong Oliver? Why don't you like Ziva?
#scaredycat #rejected #pleasebemyfriend #dogsofinstagram

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