OCTOBER WATCHES 🎃
To be clear, I’m only counting the horror movies I’ve seen this month. Everything else is superfluous for now. I’m a little disappointed I didn’t get to watch all the horror movies I wanted to see (Gerald’s Game and George Romero’s filmography in particular), but, I still saw a bunch, and now I’m making jokes about them.
Phoenix Forgotten: Bet you “forgot” about this movie, didn’t ya?
Unfriended: “What is a troll?” -a “realistic” teenager
Beetlejuice: Sylvia Sidney played a caseworker who died from either smoking or getting her throat sliced. Sydney would die 10 years later from esophageal cancer due to a lifetime of smoking. *…I wanna say…irony?* Nightmare on Elm Street: He doesn’t say bitch enough in this, bitch.
The Bye Bye Man: That’s cute, the movie thought it was gonna get a sequel!
The Mummy 2017: This movie would’ve been better with no music or sound effects.
Alien Covenant: The first film to feature gay robots and no one can take it seriously. That’s a shame.
IT (1990): MWAHA, HA, HA!!! IT (2017): Finn Wolfhard’s gonna wind up a saint when he gets older.
Saw: They need to play this every Thanksgiving.
It Came from Outer Space: IN SUPER OBVIOUS 3D!!! Friday the 13th: Motherly instinct is a bitch, ain’t it?
SCRE4M: “Horror franchise go on forever and aren’t as good as they used to be!” -the horror franchise that has gone on forever and isn’t as “good” as it used to be.
The Wolf Man: This werewolf would then go on to bite his next-door neighbor, that was also a chipmunk.
Creature from the Black Lagoon: The creature design is AWESOME!!! The Mummy (1932): The one without Tom Cruise or Brendan Fraser.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: Fuckin’ rednecks, man. 😝
Boo! A Madea Halloween: Even the title doesn’t like Madea ruining Halloween.
Ghostbusters: Why can’t we get these types of kids movies again?
Evil Dead 2: I’ve never said this, but: don’t swallow.
The Invisible Man: Someone’s been playing with Spongebob’s invisible spray.
Jaws: Where’s the part where Hooper sleeps with Brady’s wife?
Cabin in the Woods: Look, one of the Avengers is in our movie! *CONTINUED IN COMMENTS*