Twenty eighteen so far ... .
Hospital tally 27 days.
Body broke demanding emergency surgery.
Heart tortured by a southern state ghost.
Physically broke down losing 15kg in 3 weeks.
Mentally decades of fuckery fuel ignited.
The fog of numbness doesn't permit asking for help because it's not clear what is helpful. It's trial and error. Pity, pushing, positivity pleas, miracle diets, leper reactions or thoughtless suggestions are useless. Don't belittle the torment. Don't feed negative stigma.
Fortunately, not "everybody" knows what this actually feels like but you will know someone who does.
More recently some days are better than others but there's decades of denial bliss and mental clutter that needs sorting. To do it right it's going to take time. Be kind. Be patient.
Why share this @elisabethlorn?
Personally it's a confusion outlet. It's lifted some weight and I have nothing to lose in being open.
Publicly it needs to be known someone's silence can be deadly. If this helps one person it's worth being open. Please listen for silent screams and thankyou again to those who heard, continue to check in, whom don't gossip but message often quietly behind the scenes. Thankyou for helping me to rewrite the remainder of twenty-eighteen.
For those seeking professional help: @lifelineaustralia @ruokday @beyondblueofficial @livinorg @blackdoginst
For those thinking they're alone, there is strength in numbers: @youareluminouseluminous @samwebb @fortheboysaustralia @elisabethlorn