"I’m understanding, better
These shit storms of emotions as they crest over my head
I’m comprehending the damage wrought
His toxic, shame-based outlook and how it overflowed
Like a tsunami of judgements, gauntlets, verdicts and executions
The toil of a childhood wrongly implemented
And the continual reproach heaped on his head
The overflow is a hazardous mess
And I dove right in, thinking I possessed immunity
My emotional intelligence was at an epic, literate level
Of course, I can handle his need for validation
I used to feel love, and untold variety of emotions
It created a canvas of healthy memories I could draw from
I healed myself, numerous times, and my focus was fixed
I knew the discipline it takes to recover, and I was overflowing
My reserves were full, and he knew it.
His inner contempt, fed on the destruction of others,
Just like had been done to him, when he was weaker, and younger.
I was a juicy catch, and he drained me dry almost instantly.
Requiring I return, so I could feed on myself.
I thought my own self-aware light, would obliterate his odium
Instead, he created in me, so much pain
I became it.
Raw in the Middle
Payne Hawthorne Author of paranormal romance fiction
Author of Memoir, Poetry, Prose & short quotes
Seeker of life lessons & Soul-evolution/improvement
Emotional empath always seeking lost soul-mates.
Forever looking for love and eradicating shame.
Horse development specialist/horse 'whisperer'/prey-animal psychologist
Find me on Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, Goodreads, G+, and all my books in print/digital/audio formats on Amazon. -
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