#paynehawthorne

122 posts

TOP POSTS

#paynehawthorne #allmadeup #greeneyes #redhead
Sometimes I look good, sometimes, not so much. Haha.

My quest for a King has brought me to an asylum full of the infirmed and disordered.
Predators and prey, cannibals and vampires.
Delusional and quixotic, the lot of them.
The putrefied and juvenile, and the inconsistent shifters.
The aggressive and feeble, the narcissists and dull empaths.
Liars, decenters, inflictors, users, abusers, and addicts.
The mean and merciless; the killers of soul and spirit.
The catatonic screams of the lost, echo and shiver.
They are all, dysfunctional and unevolved.
They are the dead and un-dead, the killers and the victims.
Sadists and deviants who smell of death and seamen.
They are unbalanced and deranged.
A paradox of extremes.
A dichotomy of dissipations and excesses.
They are decaying infants, lost inside their animal brains.
They are either orthodox militants or apathetic failures.
They are faithless radicals; egocentric, promiscuous cult leaders, fucking with Kool-aide as a lubricant and false rhetoric as an excuse.
The beautiful outsides are disguises for the demon possessed.
The ugly are emotional retards.
They are brilliant idiots.
Paranoid and judgmental. Preaching hypocrites.
The therapy is useless.
The councilors are corrupt inmates.
I’m hiding in the middle of this shit storm of the insane.
This Eden was once thriving, but the parasites ate all the color.
I have no hope.
Release or recovery?
That’s hilarious.
My King doesn’t even know I’m here." Trapped in an Asylum
Poetry Collection -
- www.paynehawthorne.com
-
#prose #poetry #writer #paynehawthorne #empath #empathy #narcissist  #emotionalintelligence #author #poetess #poet #quotes #soulsearching #soulmates #brokenheart #brokensoul #wordsareart #trappedinanasylum

"I wish my words were happy
I detest being so sad
But I am, and I’m not a liar either
I wish I were buoyant
I hate it that I struggle, ever sinking
But I’m not a liar, so I say
I wish I could access desire
I’m lackluster at best, dead at worst
But I’m not a liar, so here I am
I wish my light were bright
I’ve huddled around my last ember
But, if everyone else lies, so will I"
-
Behind My Mirror
Poetry Collection -
Payne Hawthorne Author of paranormal romance fiction
Author of Memoir, Poetry, Prose & short quotes
Seeker of life lessons & Soul-evolution/improvement
Emotional empath always seeking lost soul-mates.
Forever looking for love and eradicating shame.
Horse development specialist/horse 'whisperer'/prey-animal psychologist
Find me on Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, Goodreads, G+, and all my books in print/digital/audio formats on Amazon. -
- www.paynehawthorne.com
-
#prose #poetry #writer #paynehawthorne #empath #empathy #narcissist  #emotionalintelligence #author #poetess #poet #quotes #soulsearching #soulmates #lovequotes #lovestory #love #brokenheart  #brokensoul #wordsareart #romance #stories #quoteoftheday #wordporn #wordswag #wordsofwisdom #inspirationalquotes #thoughts #behindmymirror #womanofworth

It was a good hair day. Night. ♡ #paynehawthorne #goodnight #redhead #goodhairday

Just another day at the barn. #nomakeup #paynehawthorne

Not bad for 50. Having horses is like hours of crossfit training. I don't 'workout' or go to the gym, but I love my muscles and being strong. 😎
#paynehawthorne #naturalhorsemanship #naturalfittness #horseygirlsarethebestgirls #horseygirlsaretuff #50yearsyoung

I can’t find you
I seek, quest, pursue an illusion
Swimming across the universe
Out of breath in my ocean of tears
Are you invisible, or just transparent, standing behind your demons?
Were you ever real?
Am I full of fantasy and delusion?
Did I fabricate you from the stars?
I question my reality and doubt this hunger
For a man who never lived
A soul created from pages of a heart
A cabinet of rooms now empty
I wander these lonely halls
Trailing my spirit across a memory
Believing the lies as gospel"
-
Behind My Mirror
Poetry Collection -
Payne Hawthorne Author of paranormal romance fiction
Author of Memoir, Poetry, Prose & short quotes
Seeker of life lessons & Soul-evolution/improvement
Emotional empath always seeking lost soul-mates.
Forever looking for love and eradicating shame.
Horse development specialist/horse 'whisperer'/prey-animal psychologist
Find me on Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, Goodreads, G+, and all my books in print/digital/audio formats on Amazon. -
- www.paynehawthorne.com
-
#prose #poetry #writer #paynehawthorne #empath #empathy #narcissist  #emotionalintelligence #author #poetess #poet #quotes #soulsearching #soulmates #lovequotes #lovestory #love #brokenheart  #brokensoul #wordsareart #romance #stories #quoteoftheday #wordporn #wordswag #wordsofwisdom #inspirationalquotes #thoughts #behindmymirror #womanofworth

MOST RECENT

"I wish my words were happy
I detest being so sad
But I am, and I’m not a liar either
I wish I were buoyant
I hate it that I struggle, ever sinking
But I’m not a liar, so I say
I wish I could access desire
I’m lackluster at best, dead at worst
But I’m not a liar, so here I am
I wish my light were bright
I’ve huddled around my last ember
But, if everyone else lies, so will I"
-
Behind My Mirror
Poetry Collection -
Payne Hawthorne Author of paranormal romance fiction
Author of Memoir, Poetry, Prose & short quotes
Seeker of life lessons & Soul-evolution/improvement
Emotional empath always seeking lost soul-mates.
Forever looking for love and eradicating shame.
Horse development specialist/horse 'whisperer'/prey-animal psychologist
Find me on Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, Goodreads, G+, and all my books in print/digital/audio formats on Amazon. -
- www.paynehawthorne.com
-
#prose #poetry #writer #paynehawthorne #empath #empathy #narcissist  #emotionalintelligence #author #poetess #poet #quotes #soulsearching #soulmates #lovequotes #lovestory #love #brokenheart  #brokensoul #wordsareart #romance #stories #quoteoftheday #wordporn #wordswag #wordsofwisdom #inspirationalquotes #thoughts #behindmymirror #womanofworth

I can’t find you
I seek, quest, pursue an illusion
Swimming across the universe
Out of breath in my ocean of tears
Are you invisible, or just transparent, standing behind your demons?
Were you ever real?
Am I full of fantasy and delusion?
Did I fabricate you from the stars?
I question my reality and doubt this hunger
For a man who never lived
A soul created from pages of a heart
A cabinet of rooms now empty
I wander these lonely halls
Trailing my spirit across a memory
Believing the lies as gospel"
-
Behind My Mirror
Poetry Collection -
Payne Hawthorne Author of paranormal romance fiction
Author of Memoir, Poetry, Prose & short quotes
Seeker of life lessons & Soul-evolution/improvement
Emotional empath always seeking lost soul-mates.
Forever looking for love and eradicating shame.
Horse development specialist/horse 'whisperer'/prey-animal psychologist
Find me on Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, Goodreads, G+, and all my books in print/digital/audio formats on Amazon. -
- www.paynehawthorne.com
-
#prose #poetry #writer #paynehawthorne #empath #empathy #narcissist  #emotionalintelligence #author #poetess #poet #quotes #soulsearching #soulmates #lovequotes #lovestory #love #brokenheart  #brokensoul #wordsareart #romance #stories #quoteoftheday #wordporn #wordswag #wordsofwisdom #inspirationalquotes #thoughts #behindmymirror #womanofworth

My quest for a King has brought me to an asylum full of the infirmed and disordered.
Predators and prey, cannibals and vampires.
Delusional and quixotic, the lot of them.
The putrefied and juvenile, and the inconsistent shifters.
The aggressive and feeble, the narcissists and dull empaths.
Liars, decenters, inflictors, users, abusers, and addicts.
The mean and merciless; the killers of soul and spirit.
The catatonic screams of the lost, echo and shiver.
They are all, dysfunctional and unevolved.
They are the dead and un-dead, the killers and the victims.
Sadists and deviants who smell of death and seamen.
They are unbalanced and deranged.
A paradox of extremes.
A dichotomy of dissipations and excesses.
They are decaying infants, lost inside their animal brains.
They are either orthodox militants or apathetic failures.
They are faithless radicals; egocentric, promiscuous cult leaders, fucking with Kool-aide as a lubricant and false rhetoric as an excuse.
The beautiful outsides are disguises for the demon possessed.
The ugly are emotional retards.
They are brilliant idiots.
Paranoid and judgmental. Preaching hypocrites.
The therapy is useless.
The councilors are corrupt inmates.
I’m hiding in the middle of this shit storm of the insane.
This Eden was once thriving, but the parasites ate all the color.
I have no hope.
Release or recovery?
That’s hilarious.
My King doesn’t even know I’m here." Trapped in an Asylum
Poetry Collection -
- www.paynehawthorne.com
-
#prose #poetry #writer #paynehawthorne #empath #empathy #narcissist  #emotionalintelligence #author #poetess #poet #quotes #soulsearching #soulmates #brokenheart #brokensoul #wordsareart #trappedinanasylum

"It's so fucking simple! I didn't say it was easy, I just said it was simple. What you focus on, is who you become."
-
Payne Hawthorne Author of paranormal romance fiction
Author of Memoir, Poetry, Prose & short quotes
Seeker of life lessons & Soul-evolution/improvement
Emotional empath always seeking lost soul-mates.
Forever looking for love and eradicating shame.
Horse development specialist/horse 'whisperer'/prey-animal psychologist
Find me on Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, Goodreads, G+, and all my books in print/digital/audio formats on Amazon. -
- www.paynehawthorne.com
-
#prose #poetry #writer #paynehawthorne #empath #empathy #narcissist  #emotionalintelligence #author #poetess #poet #quotes #soulsearching #soulmates #lovequotes #lovestory #love #brokenheart  #brokensoul #wordsareart #romance #stories #quoteoftheday #wordporn #wordswag #wordsofwisdom #inspirationalquotes #thoughts #behindmymirror #womanofworth

"I wish I could find him, the real him, the hidden, him
the soul buried behind his wall of ego
I met him once, a long time ago
before the filters and barricades
before the gauntlets and rules
before the demons reigned yet again and ruled his darkness
I loved him, he was a shining star, a hidden treasure, the man I'd been waiting, searching, praying for
His soul was oceanic, and yes, nautically tumultuous
He was as gaunt as I, from the lack of heart food
I wish he'd have let me stay, and he'd have stayed
I would have fed him from my well of reserves, and given him my heart
I miss him
I wish I could find him, again"
-
Payne Hawthorne Author of paranormal romance fiction
Author of Memoir, Poetry, Prose & short quotes
Seeker of life lessons & Soul-evolution/improvement
Emotional empath always seeking lost soul-mates.
Forever looking for love and eradicating shame.
Horse development specialist/horse 'whisperer'/prey-animal psychologist
Find me on Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, Goodreads, G+, and all my books in print/digital/audio formats on Amazon. -
- www.paynehawthorne.com
-
#prose #poetry #writer #paynehawthorne #empath #empathy #narcissist  #emotionalintelligence #author #poetess #poet #quotes #soulsearching #soulmates #lovequotes #lovestory #love #brokenheart  #brokensoul #wordsareart #romance #stories #quoteoftheday #wordporn #wordswag #wordsofwisdom #inspirationalquotes #thoughts #behindmymirror #womanofworth

I try and write, but sometimes I’m too broken
Too tired, too apathetic to care.
The endeavor of extraction is too difficult
Emotions simmer, but words are few
Descriptions of inner turmoil easier than
Depictions of joyous rapture
Not that, that happens much anymore
More words for hate, than love
I appear strong, and certain
I am anything but
I’ve fallen into a mess of parts
Trampled over and rummaged through
What was once meticulous anarchy
Is now just chaotic desolation
The strong rule and conquer
The weak just serve
Left to fend, without sustenance
A weary heart abandons hope"
-
Payne Hawthorne Author of paranormal romance fiction
Author of Memoir, Poetry, Prose & short quotes
Seeker of life lessons & Soul-evolution/improvement
Emotional empath always seeking lost soul-mates.
Forever looking for love and eradicating shame.
Horse development specialist/horse 'whisperer'/prey-animal psychologist
Find me on Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, Goodreads, G+, and all my books in print/digital/audio formats on Amazon. -
- www.paynehawthorne.com
-
#prose #poetry #writer #paynehawthorne #empath #empathy #narcissist  #emotionalintelligence #author #poetess #poet #quotes #soulsearching #soulmates #lovequotes #lovestory #love #brokenheart  #brokensoul #wordsareart #romance #stories #quoteoftheday #wordporn #wordswag #wordsofwisdom #inspirationalquotes #thoughts #behindmymirror #womanofworth

"I know I can be both Strong and fragile
Mostly I feel the latter
Not so much the former
I know I can be a warrior princess
Rarely though, do I feel the fighting spirit
The best at following, are the greatest leaders
Or are they?
Don’t we get trapped in our servitude?
Because we appreciate the nuances
I know I am a queen somewhere
Another time, another planet, another universe
Just a scullery maid here
I duel with my inner monarch and the asylum where I am caged"
-
Payne Hawthorne Author of paranormal romance fiction
Author of Memoir, Poetry, Prose & short quotes
Seeker of life lessons & Soul-evolution/improvement
Emotional empath always seeking lost soul-mates.
Forever looking for love and eradicating shame.
Horse development specialist/horse 'whisperer'/prey-animal psychologist
Find me on Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, Goodreads, G+, and all my books in print/digital/audio formats on Amazon. -
- www.paynehawthorne.com
-
#prose #poetry #writer #paynehawthorne #empath #empathy #narcissist  #emotionalintelligence #author #poetess #poet #quotes #soulsearching #soulmates #lovequotes #lovestory #love #brokenheart  #brokensoul #wordsareart #romance #stories #quoteoftheday #wordporn #wordswag #wordsofwisdom #inspirationalquotes #thoughts #behindmymirror #womanofworth

"I still hurt
I still miss you
I can't figure it out
the knowing that you are a soul mate
the knowing we'll never be together
the knowing you don't love me, or even care
I still hurt
I still miss you
It's killing me
It's taken years off my life
this knowing
this slow, agonizing torture of a life without you
I ache and weep
First and last thoughts, and everything in between
No matter the distractions before me
I still hurt
I still miss you

Payne Hawthorne Author of paranormal romance fiction
Author of Memoir, Poetry, Prose & short quotes
Seeker of life lessons & Soul-evolution/improvement
Emotional empath always seeking lost soul-mates.
Forever looking for love and eradicating shame.
Horse development specialist/horse 'whisperer'/prey-animal psychologist
Find me on Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, Goodreads, G+, and all my books in print/digital/audio formats on Amazon. -
- www.paynehawthorne.com
-
#prose #poetry #writer #personal #empath #empathy #narcissist  #emotionalintelligence #author #poetess #poet #quotes #soulsearching #soulmates #lovequotes #paynehawthorne #love #brokenheart  #brokensoul #wordsareart #romance #stories #quoteoftheday #wordporn #wordswag #wordsofwisdom #inspirationalquotes #thoughts #behindmymirror #womanofworth

"I locked you in a room, inside my mind
I needed to keep you, but not so close
I wanted to visit you when I was stronger
I tried dead bolts, and bars
I tried logic and reason
I tried to lose you in the labyrinth of my words
I used every imaginable method of containment
And yet, still, you are sly and sneaky
You escape within moments
I can’t evict you
I can’t lock you away
You’re a ghost of memories
And the keeper of the keys
You insist on ringing the entrance to my body
You evade capture once freed
And haunt the halls of my heart
Like a trojan horse, you conquer from within, stealing my air, knocking from the inside, insisting I remember
You’re counterfeit memories, as you play with me
You reach and I feel, but I can’t find you
I look, and still I hope for you to be real, again
Were you ever?"
-
Payne Hawthorne Author of paranormal romance fiction
Author of Memoir, Poetry, Prose & short quotes
Seeker of life lessons & Soul-evolution/improvement
Emotional empath always seeking lost soul-mates.
Forever looking for love and eradicating shame.
Horse development specialist/horse 'whisperer'/prey-animal psychologist
Find me on Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, Goodreads, G+, and all my books in print/digital/audio formats on Amazon. -
- www.paynehawthorne.com
-
#prose #poetry #writer #personal #empath #empathy #narcissist  #emotionalintelligence #author #paynehawthorne #poet #quotes #soulsearching #soulmates #lovequotes #lovestory #love #brokenheart  #brokensoul #wordsareart #romance #stories #quoteoftheday #wordporn #wordswag #wordsofwisdom #inspirationalquotes #thoughts #behindmymirror #womanofworth

Payne Hawthorne Author of paranormal romance fiction
Author of Memoir, Poetry, Prose & short quotes
Seeker of life lessons & Soul-evolution/improvement
Emotional empath always seeking lost soul-mates.
Forever looking for love and eradicating shame.
Horse development specialist/horse 'whisperer'/prey-animal psychologist
Find me on Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, Goodreads, G+, and all my books in print/digital/audio formats on Amazon. -
- www.paynehawthorne.com
-
#prose #poetry #writer #personal #empath #empathy #paynehawthorne #emotionalintelligence #author #poetess #poet #quotes #soulsearching #soulmates #lovequotes #lovestory #love #brokenheart  #brokensoul #wordsareart #romance #stories #quoteoftheday #wordporn #wordswag #wordsofwisdom #inspirationalquotes #thoughts #behindmymirror #womanofworth

"Your draw was like a riptide. I couldn’t fight the pull of your current, or survive the undertow of your power. You pulled on me, and I succumbed. You held me under until I drowned. You could have saved me, resurrected and revived my ghost, for she loved you with a tenacity rarely seen. Instead you exercised my spirit, and rejected my love, leaving me for dead without a care in the world."
-
Payne Hawthorne Author of paranormal romance fiction
Author of Memoir, Poetry, Prose & short quotes
Seeker of life lessons & Soul-evolution/improvement
Emotional empath always seeking lost soul-mates.
Forever looking for love and eradicating shame.
Horse development specialist/horse 'whisperer'/prey-animal psychologist
Find me on Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, Goodreads, G+, and all my books in print/digital/audio formats on Amazon. "
-
-
- www.paynehawthorne.com
-
#prose #poetry #writer #personal #empath #empathy #narcissist  #emotionalintelligence #author #poetess #poet #quotes #soulsearching #soulmates #lovequotes #lovestory #love #brokenheart  #brokensoul #wordsareart #paynehawthorne #stories #quoteoftheday #wordporn #wordswag #wordsofwisdom #inspirationalquotes #thoughts #behindmymirror #womanofworth

"I push against your gravity, and huddle around my few remaining embers.
My light is dim, and I’m mostly sad, mostly tired.
The lethargy pulls on my depression, winning the battle.
I’m lonely for the tactile.
I remember laughing once.
I believe my own lies as I lay in the corner.
I’m numb, and cold, and bleeding out.
Nothing can staunch the flow as my age ebbs and I become invisible.
Mending the broken is impossible.
Fixing the unmanageable, ill and disordered is for the strong.
I am weak. I need strength as a bolster and protection.
I am a nothing to you, and you, and you, and especially to you, the only one I wish cared.
Heartbreak is not a victimless crime.
Irrelevance is the murder of a sweet soul."
-
Payne Hawthorne Author of paranormal romance fiction
Author of Memoir, Poetry, Prose & short quotes
Seeker of life lessons & Soul-evolution/improvement
Emotional empath always seeking lost soul-mates.
Forever looking for love and eradicating shame.
Horse development specialist/horse 'whisperer'/prey-animal psychologist
Find me on Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, Goodreads, G+, and all my books in print/digital/audio formats on Amazon. "
- www.paynehawthorne.com
#prose #poetry #writer #personal #empath #empathy #narcissist  #emotionalintelligence #author #poetess #poet #quotes #soulsearching #soulmates #paynehawthorne #lovestory #love #brokenheart  #brokensoul #wordsareart #romance #stories #quoteoftheday #wordporn #wordswag #wordsofwisdom #inspirationalquotes #thoughts #behindmymirror #womanofworth

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