After the death of my mum at age 14, I spent most of late teens and early 20's partying in self destruction mode. I sought attention and did things to please others. I ran with the wolves and my worthiness was pretty punching a bit fat zero.
I looked externally for pleasure and blamed the world. I had a massive chip on my shoulder and felt I was owed something for my bad hand. I had no idea what self love was but my own large heart and gentle nature certainly got a few bumps and bruises along the way. I judged my worthiness based on what others said and I probably spent 80% of my time judging others and gossiping.
If only I knew the statement 'you are the sum of the top 5 people you spend your time with'...
After a nasty breakup followed by an abortion I threw myself into work with a side of vodka. Then after the next breakup (and some 'finding yourself' time in Bali) an opportunity presented itself for me to take a job in Sydney. I had nothing keeping me and nothing to lose.
I went for two months and stayed for seven years ...
In the first year I enjoyed the bright lights and city life. I danced til the wee hours in Kings Cross and spent my wage pretty much on booze and taxi fares. But before long I realised I wasn't getting any younger, I was the heaviest I had ever been and probably the most unfulfilled. I was in no state to meet a partner, let alone call in my soul mate. I had no money, didn't enjoy looking in the mirror and busied myself up so much that I was rarely alone.
Then I did something crazy. I signed up for Dry July... I had NO idea that this one simple single decision was about to be the catalyst for changing the direction of my entire life.
My colleagues thought I was mad, my mates didn't believe I could do it and many thought it was a joke. I however was deadset on making it through the ENTIRE month without a drink. It sounds simple right?
That month felt like the hardest month of my life. What happened after that month though was a flow on effect for when you put something out to the universe and say "I am ready". I ate healthier, I moved more, I partied less and had almost no hangovers... CONTINUED IN COMMENTS 👇🏻