Well that blows....Just when I decide to dream again, and start thinking I actually have some money saved up to try and go for it, I open the mail I've been avoiding to be reminded about all the debt I'm in, that I've also been avoiding. Student loans, credit cards, parking tickets. I know it's my own fault it got this bad. But dude I haven't been able to hold down a job; making phone calls to explain this to people is exhausting and a catalyst for further anxiety and feelings of shame & emptiness. Idk. Unless you have depression you won't understand. Because it's not like I've been oblivious to this, I just haven't cared enough about my life to pick up all the pieces of it. I let shit spiral on purpose... I just haven't cared enough and I've just been too damn tired to fight it.