#paralysissucks

MOST RECENT

day 500 : in recovery - kinda sucks that this one hurts worse than leftie's surgery.
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ethel (rightie) has been falling behind lately in that i can feel the stark difference between lucy's (leftie's) almost full sensation, and sometimes hypersensitivity, yet my entire r knee joint feels like it doesn't exist in space and time, and the front of my shin is mostly numb to temperature and light touch.
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going into this surgery i figured more nerve pain and such would be involved in this one. i'm at least grateful for the nerve pain since that means things are damaged, but still firing, right?
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so currently feeling like my knee and incisions are balls of fire, and the nerve pain has been onnnnn itttttt since i woke up from anasthesia yesterday morning.
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as always, medication makes me loopy af, so not fully with it, which is cool. gives me a tiny shelter from the cloud of depression for a bit. 🌧 #endthestigma #mentalhealthrecovery
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it has been 500 days of paralysis. it has not gotten any easier. but focusing as much as i can in the moment and not worrying about the past or future or planning as much has sure as hell helped me cope. remaining committed to following only what feels good has saved my mind and soul from the living nightmare that i call spinal cord injury.
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i am looking forward to both knees recovering and feeling like new again so i can continue my physical therapy and reaching my one and only goal of being able to move better, stronger, faster, more agile, and more capable than before. i've been pining for your #trishstrong workout @acfit_4
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nothing else will be acceptable for me.
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#500daysofparalysis
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#icansoiwill
#paralysissucks
#scirecovery
#dominoeffects
#takecareofyourdamnbody
#walkingparaplegic
#bionicbadass
#dothehardstuff
#incompleteparaplegic
#notalldisabilitiesarevisible
#disabledandcute
#coldtoes

I’ll be out one day 🙏🏻 #paralysissucks #spinalcordinjury

day 460 : kinda sorta getting better at doing the "normal" thing?!
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trying to give up my hands from taking so much weight off (ahem, cheating) without just faceplanting. #comeonquads #getittogether
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#disabledandcute
#relearningtowalk
#spinalcordinjury
#scirecovery
#incompleteparaplegic
#paralysissucks
#paralyzedlife
#robotlegs
#stairs
#exerciseismedicine
#moveyourbody
#thecomebackisstrongerthanthesetback

day 451 : although practically impossible to see, i learned a fun paralysis fact today.
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extreme stress causes my quads to freak out and incessantly spasm?! except, i still have control of my muscle if i try to use it, it's just sort of strongly pulsating. is this happening to any #sci friends out there?
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top corner featuring my one and only lucy. haven't left her side after she dealt with some hardships of her own today. recovering from some hefty wounds.
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once again reminded by life that no one is in control and bad things 👏🏽 just 👏🏽 happen. it's about how i ride out the storm, not about being mad that there is a storm.
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#paralysisrecovery
#spinalcordinjury
#musclespasms
#paralysissucks
#incompleteparaplegic

Nostalgia is hitting hard tonight and I dove into some older photos. Figured I’d throw this gem up because it’s such a killer shot and that bike plus those friends will always remind me that no matter what paralysis has forced me to leave behind, I still have so much going for me and so many reasons so smile ❤️🚵🏼‍♀️📸 @amateur_cooperative 💚 #MTB #bikes #trikes #explorer #nostalgia #adaptiveathlete #highfivesathlete #justfortheloveof #paralysissucks but #paralysisaintshit so #smile and #smileforbc and don’t ever stop smiling no matter how hard 💕☺️

day 361 : bouncy chair coming through making me smile when i'm weighed down by bad feels today 😒
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a lot. is the only way i can describe where i'm at right now. paralysis is a lot for the brain to handle. if one more person tells me how great i'm doing, i might lose it. 🙃 I appreciate & get it, but no!
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it's been almost-a-year of A WHOLE LOT. physically, i am fully aware of how damn lucky i am to be at this point 12 months post-injury. mentally, depression and listlessness is kicking back in. i assure you i'm here for the fight, but i'm not here for the sugar coating. as always, #paralysissucks
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rough patches pass, as do all things. incredibly grateful for the people in my life right now. thanks work friends for letting me just cry. 🖤
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#justgottagetthrough
#keeponkeepinon
#neverstopplaying
#vulnerability
#rebuild
#spinalcordinjury
#scirecovery
#learningtowalkagain
#notimeforparalysis
#whatparalysis
#notalldisabilitiesarevisible
#paraplegiclife
#incompleteparaplegic
#thecomebackisstrongerthanthesetback
#brokenbody
#bionicbadass
#lifeaftersci
#nothingisofflimits
#exerciseismedicine
#moveyourbody
#takecareofyourbodyandyourbodywilltakecareofyou
#liveyourbestlife
#craighospital
#chickswithsticks

day 328 : i hate gym selfies.
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BUT, i feel like a freaking superwoman and i’m totally feeling myself so here ya go.
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i love picking up heavy things and putting them down again.
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wore one of my favorite shirts in case people felt the need to ask silly questions today. if ya put it out there, they’re less likely to ask. rbf kind of helps too.
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tried the leg press for the first time today. minimum weight on it was 35lbs. barely made it. but i made it.
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well deserved vermouth with mom afterwards. we like to drink. 🇪🇸 @carmensa316
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also, this headband is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. @junkbrands
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#wellnessislife
#wellness
#movementiseverything
#strengthtraining
#junkheadbands
#recoveringparaplegic
#paralysis
#paralysissucks
#incompleteparaplegic
#spinalcordinjury
#scirecovery
#pushyourlimits
#yourbodyisyourtemple
#takecareofyourbodyandyourbodywilltakecareofyou

Today is the saddest day of my life. Anyone who knows me pre-paraplegia knew that I loved my adult trike. I had it for a couple years and rode it almost everyday. It made me so happy. It's been hanging unused in my garage for almost 5 years. Today my parents came and took it to their house so my mom can use it. While it makes me so happy that she will use it and love it as much as I did, it makes me so sad that I can't ride it anymore. And it makes me sad that it's gone. So I'm sitting in my bathroom, crying and allowing my self to feel sad for a few minutes before I put my big girl pants on and make getting it back my new goal in life. My mom is the only person I would let have it, because I know that the second I am strong enough to ride it, I will get it back. So let #operationgetmybikeback begin! 😭😭😩😩
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#paralysissucks #paraplegic #paralyzed #trike #adulttricycle #tricyle #ramtruck #disabilitysucks #disabled #disabilityawareness #sadday #goals #biggirlpanties #plans #wheelchair #wheelchairgirl

day 324 : WUT. PARALYSIS.
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first strength workout completed at a real gym.
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thanks for kicking my 🍑 @addymariewillis
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walked in without a cane and didn’t fall the whole time (goals)
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cheers to picking up heavy things and putting them back down again. be grateful.
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p.s. - lol to all those folks that think it’s completely acceptable for their opening line to be, “what did you injure?” I. DON’T. KNOW. YOU.
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p.s.s. - isn’t the building i work at/workout in just the prettiest 😍
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#whatparalysis
#paraplegiclife
#notalldisabilitiesarevisible
#spinalcordinjury
#thecomebackstory
#thecomebackisstrongerthanthesetback
#incompleteparaplegic
#10monthsout
#paralysissucks

day 321 : well look what we have here. bony part of my knee is a magnet for the floor.
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any other walking friends suffer from constant falls??
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too many to count.
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#relearningtowalk
#recoveringparaplegic
#paralysissucks
#incompleteparaplegic
#spinalcordinjury
#scirecovery

day 319 : this sweaty smile brought to you by going through some ISH that puts you in hell, and then feeling like you’re OWNING this comeback.
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my physical therapist had a student today. at the end of my session she told me that when i walked in, she thought i was a PT too, not a patient. WHAT?!
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i am so incredibly grateful for my life and how i feel right now. i would have never imagined that a #spinalcordinjury would help me transform the way i think and feel to this degree. we are all powerful magic and sometimes it takes a really bad thing to happen to make us 👏🏽 wake up 👏🏽 from the monotony and dissatisfaction with our situations.
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i sometimes hate that our standard greeting for those we encounter is “hi how are you.” especially since most of the time the question is asked without remotely caring what the answer is, and the answer is mostly given as a pre-populated response. i try to be as genuine as i can, and recently my answer has been falling somewhere around “i’m so freaking fantastic.”
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i’ve noticed that people that give a REAL response, especially if it’s unconventionally happy/grateful/smiley, have had some 💩 put on them and they are genuinely happy because they’ve taken the time to not be so oblivious at the little things that make life wonderful and worth making every second the best second you could possibly have. even if you’re still fighting a fight. i like talking to those people. stories are important.
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life is too short. wake up. be you. be the best version of you with whatever 💩 is on your plate.
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#newoutlook
#scirecovery
#whatparalysis
#incompleteparaplegic
#paraplegiclife
#paralysissucks
#notalldisabilitiesarevisible
#bekind
#peopleareimportant
#physicaltherapy
#thecomebackstory
#thecomebackisstrongerthanthesetback
#liveyourbestlife
#wellness

day 317 : new spine injury friends after lots of firsts on a beach this weekend!
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when you meet a complete stranger that you get good vibes with AND she has an awesome scar on her spine too, you call that a soul sister!!!
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@estela_gp so happy i got to meet you this weekend!
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#notimeforparalysis
#ivegotshittodo
#spinalcordinjury
#scirecovery
#paralysissucks
#scarsarebeautiful
#liveyourbestlifenow
#couchsurfing
#incompleteparaplegic
#wheelingtowalking
#thecomebackstory

day 313 : post-sobbing, post-fall, post-15 minutes on this thing!!!!!
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it’s been so hard getting my cardio in, especially since i used to hate these machines. gotta do what you gotta do i suppose, plus the feeling of this is jaw-dropping.
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i felt sweat today. a lot of it. the feeling of my shirt sticking to my stomach was more than i could bear and i broke down while looking at my legs move.
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still working hard on getting my knees to not lock out. hence the fall, i pushed my boundaries too far and both knees gave out, leaving me hanging from the handles. good thing i’ve got death grip most of the time. and my falls are nothing if not graceful!
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don’t worry about the tape...muscles around my left knee are still so weak that my patella doesn’t track correctly. tape helps keep it in place!
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it feels good to feel good.
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#paralysisrecovery
#incompleteparaplegic
#spinalcordinjury
#scirecovery
#unstoppable
#elliptical
#paralysissucks
#dothething
#makeithappen
#onwardandforward
#thecomebackstory

day 311 : 311 days worth of journal.
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for as long as i can remember in my life, i’ve kept some kind of journal. not always consistently, not always insightful, but i have a box full of every planner, diary, and journal i’ve ever kept.
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a few years ago i discovered #bulletjournaling. in a nutshell, it’s a system where you put your planner, lists, journal, and everything else you could need to process and organize your life into one place and in a way that works for YOU.
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especially with already having a 💩 memory, but also with the concussion i sustained in my accident and all the drugs i was on, i am SO grateful to have all my memories and things that happened written down. i can go back and look at the most minute details that happened on any given day and feel all the feels.
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bye bye pineapple, hello fancy floral F book! there’s no feeling like finishing a notebook. #proudnerd🤓
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#protip : if you ever feel like time is flying, try documenting your life. self awareness is 🔥
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#sci
#scirecovery
#documentyourlife
#recoveringparaplegic
#paralysisrecovery
#paralysissucks
#lifeaftersci
#bulletjournal
#mentalhealthawareness
#mentalhealth

day 309 : new trick sunday!!
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movement is feeling so natural these days. just kind of slow, a lot of effort and concentration, and sometimes feeling like i’m moving through thick mud.
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flexibility and recovery are a daily thing and that’s helped tremendously! come onnnnn muscles!
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anyone else overwhelmed with gratitude at any little movement you’ve regained? those wiggling toesies kill me every time! 👣 #gratefulforthesmallthings #whichareactuallybigthings
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#spinalcordinjury
#scirecovery
#recoveringparaplegic
#brokenbutnotbeaten
#paralysisrecovery
#paralysissucks

So I was taking a stroll and saw a house for sale on the other side of the street. When I went to go down the ONLY ramp they had, two little girls in their mommies car did this to me. #sciawareness #winnipegsucks #whatthefuck #parentsteachyourkids #paralysissucks #helpme

One of my favorite nights of the year is now complete. We had a blast as usual! #LSPF #endspinalcordinjuries #paralysissucks #engineersturnedcomedianswithvenndiagrams @lelliott105 @squeakytexan

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