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#painnevergoesaway

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Daqueles dias que você só quer que... acabe... Estava com saudade do potencial das nossas gargalhadas... obrigadis, @marifarat 💛✨Dia punk... 🤦🏻‍♀️ Mas vambora... #podeescreverashashtags #estoucompreguica #tryingtobebetter #missudaddy #painnevergoesaway

Today makes 2yrs I lost u bestfriend and a part of me died with u and I'm super emotional 😢💔 even thou i always think and miss u we love always #missusomuch #painnevergoesaway

Hi Eli! I've been missing you terribly lately. Thought today about the time you where getting ready for a night out with friends, and came into my room and asked me to put a bit of foundation on a blemish you had on your forehead. God, how much I wish we had more memories together. ❤️ #brother #bigbrother #brotherlylove #missyou #suicide #suicideprevention #painnevergoesaway

Happy Birthday to this bighead! Remember this day like it was yesterday. I was preggers with your nephew. Who knew you wouldn't stay around to watch him grow into a man. Who knew you hurt so much? If only I could've held your hand on your last day. If only I could've told you that everything would be ok. If only you would've stayed , we could've prayed for all your pain to go away . I would've cut the noose and let you loose only to hold you in my arms and say it would be ok. Rest easy brother. 😇😢 #suicidesucks #painnevergoesaway

You're wings were ready but my heart was not. Death changes everything. . Time changes nothing. Cant believe a year has passed since ive said my last words to you. #AHuiHouDad #Aloha #PainNeverGoesAway #TimeMeansNothing

Missing you a lot tonight. My heart hurts. Sucks so bad not to have you here to talk to. I love you mom 💔 #painnevergoesaway #missyousomuch #why

July 9th three years ago My Husband RYAN Terrell disappears in the California desert near Vegas his car broke down and picked up on the highway by a US Highway Patrolman and dropped at a dodgy rest stop in Baker California! He mysteriously disappeared from there, and his body was found a few miles from there almost three months later! Making it impossible that he was killed immediately. As his body would have not remained in the desert for three and a half months! Ryan was found without his organs! Having to go to California alone to identify him was more difficult than anything I've done in my entire life! After missing for all this time the police kept him for over a month pretending to perform Autopsies! They tried to convince me to let them cremate him and send me his ashes! I tricked them and had his remains sent to a crematory in the Valley and I met him there to see the horrific sight! From somewhere I got the strength to take out my phone and I began to photograph every detail of his remains! It was obvious to me that RYAN had been buried and dug up again! It was clear that his body had been held to allow his remains to perish further but he held on until I could stand over him! And I felt his soul breath the first sigh! It's been incredible to go on in life and create beauty I have struggled to continue my work! I'm sharing this story for all the people who have lost loved ones through senseless murders! Ryans story is important not to be forgotten! And each story is important to not forget! There is corruption in the police departments and my sister recently said you no the coworker who is racist who hates people the police must root out these problems and how we police must change! Please continued to pray for us! #painnevergoesaway #always there #loveislove @ryb221989 rest in peace! #neverforget

I got to visit today! I miss you Grandma! An open wound only time can heal. Major part of my heart. #PainNeverGoesAway #MyGirlfriend4Life #JeanetteRichburg #RestInHeaven

MOST RECENT

I realized that there's actually something I miss so much that I wonder how I could live without it. This may sound crazy but it's a dog. My little companion (actually big companion, she's a lab) that I actually loved quite a lot but as probably everyone else in this world couldn't see the wonderful gift I had before me. The only thing that I have to remember her is a scar on my hip, hair in a little jewelry box from my grandma and pictures. Now when I think about all the beautiful memories from the past, I'm glad she pulled me over because now I have a story on me that isn't a tattoo and a way to remember her.
I realized that even wounds from the past come back. We suffer in ways we can't even understand and how is it that the simplest things can make us cry (I'm almost crying writing this). Listening to what happened to her made me wonder why did I let her go, why didn't I keep her. She's in a better place, hopefully, happy and is able to sleep on her favorite couch and chasing a ball.
Love never leaves us, the pain that we get doesn't disappear. We shed more tears than we think is possible, country music doesn't heal it and you don't know who can help you. That's life. At the end of the day, we should at least be grateful for what we have in front of us and leave the things we don't have behind but that's hard. That's harder than I could ever imagine. But that's reality.
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#doggy #dog #lab #labrador #black #ball #sweetheart #majorthrowback #missyou #littleangel #somewhereovertherainbow #tb #throwbacktime #scar #memories #childhoodmemories #onceuponatime #fauna #vegan #animallove #bajka #painnevergoesaway #littlecompanion #bff #imsorry #takebacktime #whiteball #tree #blacklab #dogphotography

Hi Eli! I've been missing you terribly lately. Thought today about the time you where getting ready for a night out with friends, and came into my room and asked me to put a bit of foundation on a blemish you had on your forehead. God, how much I wish we had more memories together. ❤️ #brother #bigbrother #brotherlylove #missyou #suicide #suicideprevention #painnevergoesaway

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