A year ago today I was probably sitting on the couch after work, eating some DQ blizzard I picked up on the way home and cursing myself for doing so because they make my stomach hurt sooo bad. But I’d continue eating it until it was gone, make myself miserable, and then get so mad I was almost in tears the next day because I had no jeans that fit & my work shirts had to be pre stretched before putting them on.
A year later, lots of hard work, early mornings, pre workout and shakeo, I don’t feel that way at all. In fact, those jeans from last year I couldn’t fit are too big and my work shirts are much more flattering.
Looking back I wish I wouldn’t have wallowed in my own misery so long.
I’ve always been a wallower, I’ve always been someone who found some strange comfort in being miserable. Isn’t that strange? I don’t like that quality about myself and let me tell you I have made mounds of progress and effort to come out of that. I now find myself wallowing in the “what if’s” as in, what if I would have began sooner? Where would I be now? And I continue to remind myself how very far I’ve come, and how very far I have to go. So to all my wallowers, my girls out there wishing those jeans would fit without a hair tie around the button, my fellow miserable and oddly comfortable ladies who know you need to pull yourself out of it but don’t know how, I feel you. I’ve been there. I’m still there. And I’m working every day to continue to be the best version of me possible.