One year ago today the news of a positive test changed our lives. We rejoiced at the blessing of life being formed within my womb. JP was the happiest I have ever seen him and I sat in awestruck wonder of Gods crazy timing. If I knew just 6 weeks later we would be parting ways with #ourangelskye, I'm not sure we would have taken that leap of faith in growing our family biologically. The pain was excruciating and broke us in ways we never could have imagined. If we knew what we were bound to go through, I'm not sure we would have said yes. But that's the beautiful thing about God, He provides the strength and courage for the next step in front of us. We don't have to worry about the many steps that come after.
Alas, we have made it out of the storm...not because of this new life forming in my womb but because of Gods ultimate goodness. We are stronger than we have ever been despite going through the hardest year of our lives. We are hopeful of the new journey that is about to begin any day now. We are connected to heaven in ways that run so deep as our small family is making a place for us to join them one day. The day we begin eternity all together will be beautiful but for now, we will move forward...one step at a time...falling, breaking, stretching, running and getting stronger every single step of the way.
The fact of the matter is Skye made room in my heart to be something I always longed to know and to be...a biological mom. I can connect on deep levels with our oldest girl because of adoption and I can know the love that I always wondered about growing up because of Skye and this sweet baby girl. God has shown me His goodness on so many levels but it has come with a painful cost. Because of the pain I can understand the beauty so much more...pain that has been with me 29 years now is finally overflowing my heart with the magic I have always wondered about. His plans are always for the greater good of our hearts, even if it takes a long time to understand. And honestly, I don't think we will ever truly understand His ultimate plans for us but I will take whatever He chooses to reveal to with open hands and a grateful heart.